How Life Drastically Went Downhill in Only One Decade.

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Abstract

when I was younger about never forgetting a face. As you can tell by now, I am forgetful all the time. I recently had another awkward experience when I was dining out with my family. A woman walked over to me with arms outstretched. She was so excited to see me. Same story: I was mortified, because I swear knew her, but I couldn’t place her! After talking for a bit, it turned out that she had dyed her hair a completely different color which is why I didn’t recognize her off the bat. But still, how is this happening so much to me lately?The embarrassment I have felt in situations like these is overwhelming and agitating. I think it’s because my great grandmother passed away from Alzheimer’s, and my mom has always seemed to have bad memory loss as well. It makes me paranoid that I could end up like them.I have a sadness as I grow older. When I see young 20-somethings, my heart feels anguished knowing that I am rapidly morphing into what feels like a completely different person. I look in the mirror and wonder who that lady is who stole my cute, petite body and fresh face. I remember being able to lose 5 pounds in a day back then. Lately, I feel like I could gain 5 pounds in a day if I wanted (why can’t this be cool?)Nowadays, the world doesn’t seem to notice me all to often. Eyes of passersby glaze over me like I am nothing special when I am makeup-less, with my very apparent dark chin hairs and upper lip hairs. And graying, greasy hair. Allow me to tell you how I almost killed my husband for not telling me about the 1 inch hair growing FOR YEARS out of a mole on my face.Let’s move on

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to how kids have made me feel like a completely different person in my bones.As newborns, neither of my babies slept for more than a few hours at a time. I was up like a soldier in boot camp every couple of hours to soothe a crying baby who was hungry for a boob.I have two children who are close in age, meaning I have had 4 years in a row of interrupted sleep. During that time, I went through a sort of “dying to self” phase as my precious 10-hour sleep sessions were abruptly gone.People don’t automatically value the changes new moms go through. What people DO see is the stress and fatigue. And wrinkles.As I head frighteningly fast toward my 40's, I am doing what I can to restore my brain, such as less quick tasks on social media and jumping around from screen to screen in general.I still can’t believe my unfortunate luck that we decided to start a family around the time social media burst onto the scene. It was a whirlwind of being glued to my app newsfeeds 24–7 and trying to give my kids well-deserved attention. No one was really aware in 2012 that social media was addicting, that notifications were a nightmare, and task switching could stunt attention spans. I am blessed that I became aware of the dangers of it and was able to disengage from virtually all of social media last year.I am happy to be in a stage where my kids are school-aged and sleeping through the night (thank you, Jesus!).Also, I look forward to hopefully finding a doctor in the future who can help my brain retain information (why isn’t that a thing yet?!).</article></body>

How Life Drastically Went Downhill in One Decade.

Unsplash photo by Letizia Bordoni

I was shopping at a grocery store and noticed a familiar woman pass me by in my peripheral view. I turned my head to stare at her, with her cute pixie haircut and her wide smile. “I know her!” I thought. “But from where?”

She noticed me, noticing her. I smiled, but she didn’t reciprocate as we passed each other in the aisle. I picked up an orange and thought over the matter. I guess I didn’t really know her, she just had that familiar face.

My kids were there too, hanging off my overflowing cart. The little things that drive every mom insane while grocery shopping, amiright. Self-checkout? Nope, too many little doo-dads and veggies piled in my cart. Regular cashier line it is.

When we finally left the checkout line and headed for the door, I saw the woman again. She was chatting with someone by the front entrance. This time, she glanced at me with recognition as I passed by, exclaiming, “Well, hi there, how are you?” I smiled back and said “Hiii...” sheepishly as she slowly proceeded to look away and continue her conversation with the other person. I did know her! But from where? I still couldn’t place it and later prayed that I didn’t look at her like she was an alien.

For many hours after I left the store, I am still over here trying to place where I know her from.

I used to brag when I was younger about never forgetting a face. As you can tell by now, I am forgetful all the time. I recently had another awkward experience when I was dining out with my family. A woman walked over to me with arms outstretched. She was so excited to see me. Same story: I was mortified, because I swear knew her, but I couldn’t place her! After talking for a bit, it turned out that she had dyed her hair a completely different color which is why I didn’t recognize her off the bat. But still, how is this happening so much to me lately?

The embarrassment I have felt in situations like these is overwhelming and agitating. I think it’s because my great grandmother passed away from Alzheimer’s, and my mom has always seemed to have bad memory loss as well. It makes me paranoid that I could end up like them.

I have a sadness as I grow older. When I see young 20-somethings, my heart feels anguished knowing that I am rapidly morphing into what feels like a completely different person. I look in the mirror and wonder who that lady is who stole my cute, petite body and fresh face. I remember being able to lose 5 pounds in a day back then. Lately, I feel like I could gain 5 pounds in a day if I wanted (why can’t this be cool?)

Nowadays, the world doesn’t seem to notice me all to often. Eyes of passersby glaze over me like I am nothing special when I am makeup-less, with my very apparent dark chin hairs and upper lip hairs. And graying, greasy hair. Allow me to tell you how I almost killed my husband for not telling me about the 1 inch hair growing FOR YEARS out of a mole on my face.

Let’s move on to how kids have made me feel like a completely different person in my bones.

As newborns, neither of my babies slept for more than a few hours at a time. I was up like a soldier in boot camp every couple of hours to soothe a crying baby who was hungry for a boob.

I have two children who are close in age, meaning I have had 4 years in a row of interrupted sleep. During that time, I went through a sort of “dying to self” phase as my precious 10-hour sleep sessions were abruptly gone.

People don’t automatically value the changes new moms go through. What people DO see is the stress and fatigue. And wrinkles.

As I head frighteningly fast toward my 40's, I am doing what I can to restore my brain, such as less quick tasks on social media and jumping around from screen to screen in general.

I still can’t believe my unfortunate luck that we decided to start a family around the time social media burst onto the scene. It was a whirlwind of being glued to my app newsfeeds 24–7 and trying to give my kids well-deserved attention. No one was really aware in 2012 that social media was addicting, that notifications were a nightmare, and task switching could stunt attention spans. I am blessed that I became aware of the dangers of it and was able to disengage from virtually all of social media last year.

I am happy to be in a stage where my kids are school-aged and sleeping through the night (thank you, Jesus!).

Also, I look forward to hopefully finding a doctor in the future who can help my brain retain information (why isn’t that a thing yet?!).