How Learning to Visualize “Pretty Good” Has Made My Life Great
The “hot girl” from my book club suggested the book Real Help by Ayodeji Awosika.
I had never heard of him or this book.
We switch between fiction and non-fiction every month. I was excited to dive into a book that claimed it was “An Honest Guide To Self-Improvement.”
I’m a self-help junkie, but like…. the self-proclaimed fun kind. I’ll totally go to that sound bath with you, as long as we can hit up a dope happy hour afterwards.
Ayodeji’s book Real Help delivered on its promise. He honestly guided my book club through ways we could self-improve… and one nugget of information he shared not only stuck with me… it changed me.
Let’s dissect what it means to “Know how to properly aim.” And why it’s so powerful.
How many advertisements have you seen for “becoming rich overnight” That inspire you just enough to daydream but not enough to change? Picturing your “ideal day” is a great way to have a fantasy about something that won’t happen.
— Ayodeji Awosika, Real Help
Guilty as charged.
I’ve totally seen those advertisements, and I’d like to believe I’d maintained realistic expectations of not getting rich overnight…but hell, three months from now this “system” I bought into will definitely make me rich. And I’ll be showered with gold coins and dollar bills as I gleefully laugh my way towards a new life.
Every single person I know has set insanely high expectations on themselves to “become successful.” And the bar they’ve set of what success looks like, and what they would have to achieve to deem themselves successful, is fucking impossibly high.
So we’re unhappy, pissed off, and unable to track the progress of our hard work because the goal we’re working towards is so immeasurable.
If we’re not on a book tour for our best-selling novel, adored by fans, and self-made millionaires by the time we’re 28, we’re complete failures. And should resign to living in our parents basements on a diet of hot pockets and Fanta while re-runs of the Golden Girls play in the background.
We’re so consumed with setting a vision for our life that gets us “the perfect grade” instead of realizing that a “B+ Life” would be…. pretty badass.
There’s power in visualizing “pretty good.” A pretty good life for you might mean starting a side business that makes $1,000 a month instead of creating the next billion dollar company. It might mean simply writing a book instead of writing the next great American novel.
— Ayodeji Awosika, Real Help
I’ve taken a myriad of online courses. At one point I became convinced I could absolutely come up with a product, launch my own course, and start this money-making machine of a company, because clearly everyone else is doing it and “why not me?”
And I’m not saying I can’t, but if I could make an extra $100 dollars a month, that’s an extra $1,200 a year…. I’d be pretty happy. And then if I grew to $1,000 a month, an extra $12,000 a year, I’d be even happier.
$1,000 a month is nowhere close to what I would have envisioned for my money-making machine of a company. But if I look at what I really want…. it’s creating a side-hustle for myself that I enjoy doing, is completely on my own terms and could start generating income to give me more freedom in my life.
So making $1,000 a month doing exactly that…. is fucking cool. And I can keep growing it and put in as much work as I want to, because it’s MINE. Even if the most money my side-hustle ever incurred was, let’s say, $50,000 a year…. hell, it’s nowhere near what my badass billion dollar vision was, but it’s “pretty good.” There are a lot of goals I can meet, or freedom I’ve earned, with an extra $50,000 to work with.
My writing career started with the goal of “write more.” Then it led to tangible success, like writing a book, but not THE book. Had I started off my journey thinking I wanted to become the next Malcolm Gladwell, my career would’ve stood still.
— Ayodeji Awosika
This thought helps me set smaller goals for myself that are achievable and still a part of the vision I have for myself.
I’ve been so much more productive in my business endeavors because I’ve set smaller goals for myself, and I’ve continued to achieve them. So then I set a fresh round of goals for myself… and achieve those. And then… you get the point.
My ego and fear of failure are more removed when I get to work. I’m able to sit down and know what I’m working towards achieving. I’m able to make a more detailed, action packed plan for myself to achieve. And because I didn’t place the pressure on myself to win a Nobel Peace prize, but COMPLETE something and be brave enough to put it out there in the world… I have a whole slew of important information that I’ve learned and take with me as I work towards the next goal I’ve set.
I’ve been so much more content in my life, the goals I’m working towards and being able to see my efforts to move the needle of my life every day that I get to work. I no longer feel like I’m slaving away on my keyboard wondering where all the hard work I’ve done has gone. I can see my progress instead of my work getting swallowed up into my vision of becoming the next Shonda Rhimes.
One of my friends is a brilliant writer. Truly, they are.
They’re a hard worker, they’re determined, and show up for themselves and their craft. Their major frustration is not seeing the financial return they would like to from their writing. Especially from how much effort they’ve put into their craft and business.
I pitched to start a blog, or pursue other avenues of writing that might be profitable. Even if it’s a small profit at first, they might start seeing some financial gain while they’re working on selling their outstanding screenplays and becoming that badass showrunner they’re totally capable of being…. just not right now, and probably not soon.
They met me with some pushback, which I wasn’t really expecting.
To me it was a great idea and directly aligned with the goal of seeing some financial gain from writing. To me the vision stayed the same, it was just a slight pivot. We ended up having a great discussion about the notion of what success really is. Will you really not be satisfied until you’re Shonda Rhimes? Or will you be happy profiting from doing something you love, even if it wasn’t in the way you thought?
We all have our own vision of what success is. You must create your own definition of what success is to you. And if you won’t be satisfied until you’ve reached Shonda status, go on with your bad self.
Conclusion
This book is filled with so, so many impactful little nuggets like this one. I highly recommend it and will profusely thank the “hot girl” from my book club that suggested it.
Since restructuring my goals towards being “pretty great”, I’ve been happier when I sit down to work. Sure, sometimes shit still sucks because that’s life and it’s frustrating. But I’ve been significantly more productive, can track my personal and professional growth and see the progress of my hard work, and don’t feel afraid to just go for it. Because I know every effort is a small step towards being “pretty good”, and that feels fucking great.
For more inspiration…
Hit me up at [email protected], I’d always love to hear your thoughts and connect on the happenings going on in your brain and in your life or visit my website at www.yougotyou.co
