No, You’re Not Helpless. You’re Just Conditioned to Think You Are.

Proven by a vicious experiment on dogs in 1974.

When I was a little younger and still in a guitar ensemble, I had a friend. And she was the fun one in the group.

It was one of our final examinations because we were university students who were about to graduate and lead the “working life”. So I asked her: “What is your dream job?”

She replied: “A radio host. But that is the unrealistic one and will never happen. The realistic one is to work as an event assistant.” (Event assistants are paid better than most graduate jobs in Malaysia.)

I looked at her with perplexity and didn’t reply, because I didn't know how to react to that. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded by her labels of “realistic” and “unrealistic”.

Not only until recently, I learned that this is a psychological phenomenon known as learned helplessness.

Helpless?

It started with the vicious experiment that was conducted in 1974. These researchers took a number of dogs and placed them in two separate enclosed areas and forced them to endure punishments. All of these dogs would get electric shocks over a period. The difference is that one of these groups can take certain simple actions to stop the shocks, whereas the other group had no possibility to stop the shocks at all.

Later on, in the second round, all of those dogs were tested again in the same compound. But this time, every single one of the dogs had the opportunity to avoid those shocks just by taking some simple actions.

The findings highlighted that most of the dogs that found a way to stop the shocks previously did so again. Whereas those dogs that had been forced to endure the shocks and had no way of stopping, just gave up.

They came to accept the notion that in spite of their efforts, they will still be shocked, even after seeing other dogs succeed. Learned helplessness, in this case, is that the dogs have accepted the fact that there is nothing they can do to stop that uncomfortable situation and admitted defeat before even trying.

The employee mentality

In the past, I have had quite a few experiences in various companies. Some rather menial and some with more responsibility. And in these jobs, I realized that there is an invisible gap between the employee and the manager/supervisor.

When I was in a rather menial role, I would usually try my best to adhere to the company processes and deliver the assignments accordingly. And whenever I hit a roadblock, I would stop and ask my manager what I should do next.

And almost every reply that he gave was something I already knew. Sometimes, it was downright embarrassing for me to have asked that question because the solution was so simple and easy. But for some reason, my brain was convinced that I didn’t have the ability to solve this issue. It felt like I had to downplay myself because of the menial role. And in return, I have blinded myself with the thought that I was supposed to be helpless.

The point is that we need to find a way to help ourselves from “learned helplessness”, or the “employee mentality”. Be aware of the fact that you can actually control these things and the seemingly impossible becomes possible. Accept the fact that most issues are not out of our control.

Unlearning helplessness

Another question that came into my mind while I came across this concept is why did so many people fall prey to this fallacy? And how did it happen?

I spent a good amount of time thinking about it and every time, it led me back to the same source. School. Are our school systems subliminally promoting learned helplessness?

To illustrate, we force kids to suffer various types of punishment and then send our kids to the “real world” where they can do anything they want to do.

Honestly, I think to a certain degree; we are doing that.

Because, to many children, they view school as a punishment where they had to endure studying that subject they don’t like just to pass the exams. We never really questioned what the after-effects of forcing kids to go to school are.

Kids can’t say no to examinations, history subjects, or even waking up early. I guess it is not surprising that after spending their entire childhood being forced to endure such events/punishments, they eventually gave up fighting for a better life.

Back to the story of the dogs. The researchers tried their best to help out the dogs. They tried giving them treats and encouragement, but it didn’t work. In fact, they had to physically shove the dogs away from the “shock area” at least a few times before the dogs finally learned that they actually had control. And that the punishment could have ended if they had just taken the simple actions.

It is understandable that human brains can be quite different in terms of intelligence compared to dogs. However, we are not invulnerable to this fallacy. In the best-case scenario, letting you know that this fallacy exists might be enough to change the way you act and your perspective of life.

Career paths

As for me, my dream job was to be able to trade the stock markets every single day. The moment I found out about this industry, I was hooked. I didn’t mind spending every single waking hour staring at the red and green flickering numbers on my screen. As a matter of fact, I was drawn to it. I could be sitting at my desk at 9 am and the next thing I know is that the sky is already dark outside and that I have missed lunch and dinner.

But there are often obstacles in reality. I wasn’t born into a rich family, so I didn’t have an unlimited amount of money to trade with. If I lose this chunk of money, not only am I wasting my mom and dad’s hard work, it may also mean that my dreams of becoming a full-time trader will stay a dream.

Because of that, I applied to different companies, hoping that they might want to hire me as I show my passion and grit. But, to nobody’s surprise, I was rejected by all of them. I didn’t have a finance degree and most certainly didn’t have a good enough track record.

I was really bummed because I had arguably applied to every single proprietary firm and hedge fund in the world. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I really want to be a trader. Then I started writing blogs on several sites about finance, about the psychological battles that one faces in the markets and how I found myself in the stock markets.

Lo-and-behold, a startup proprietary company in Singapore found my articles and reached out to me. They thought it was very interesting for me to grab everyday concepts and applied them to the stock markets, such as how getting stuck in the traffic is similar to trading.

At first, they just wanted me to write a few guest posts for them so I agreed to do it for free. And soon after, they wanted to get to know me more, so they scheduled a Skype call and we talked for a few hours.

About two weeks after that call, this firm reached out to me again, but this time with an offer for me to trade a certain amount of the company’s fund! What happens next is a story for another day.

There are certain jobs in this world where the career path is distinctly laid out. For instance, if you want to be a doctor, you must go to medical school and complete a certain number of years of training; if you want to be an academic, you must get at least a PhD.

But, in the world we live in today, there is a much larger group of careers that does not follow this process. And the individual has to figure out their own unique way of finding success.

That is the idea of it. We often feel like we’re not in control, want someone else to help us get that control, or get to the place we want to be. The truth is, the researcher that literally shoved the dogs out of their “helpless zone” doesn’t always exist in our lives. We only have ourselves to depend on. We have to keep pushing ourselves towards the area that allows us to do what we want to do.

Final thoughts

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” — Serenity Prayer

When you’re contemplating about the things you have control over, err on the side of thinking that you can change much more than you can’t. Because more often than not, you are, the most powerful person in that circumstance and it is up to you to find out what is possible and what is not.

“Everything seems impossible until its done.” — Nelson mandela.

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