How Labels Shaped My Identity: Creating Chaos or Chaos

I made myself ultra-bipolar

Diagnostic labelling is the process of assigning a name or category to a set of behaviour patterns that deviate from the norm.

For example, someone who displays signs of hyperactivity, inattention, and impulsivity, among other symptoms, may be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

This diagnosis is based on a standardized system, such as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) or the International Classification of Diseases (ICD).

In my abnormal psychology course, we learned about the value and importance of diagnostic labelling. Some of the benefits are:

• It helps mental health professionals communicate and collaborate with each other and with their clients about the nature and causes of psychological disorders.
• It facilitates research and treatment by providing a common framework and terminology for studying and understanding mental disorders.
• It enables access to health care services and insurance coverage for people who suffer from mental disorders.
• It reduces stigma and discrimination by increasing awareness and education about mental disorders.

In short, diagnostic labelling can help people communicate, understand, and learn about various disorders.

However, we also learned about the drawbacks of diagnostic labelling, but not how to be sensitive when applying it.

I don’t know how the curriculum is in America, but in my country, which is a developing country, we didn’t learn about the potential harms and how careful we have to be. It was just one chapter among many.

But the best thing I learned was, do not go around diagnosing people. Even if it is obvious to you that the person is displaying signs of a disorder. As long as the disorder is not disturbing the person or the people around him/her. As long as he/she is able to live a normal and healthy life.

The ultimate goal of diagnosing people is to help them understand themselves better, cope with their challenges, and improve their quality of life.

Coming to My Story

I still remember the day when I got the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I was sitting with my mother in the psychiatrist’s office, feeling nervous and anxious. When the doctor told me the news, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I finally knew what was happening. I finally had a name for the turmoil in my mind. I thought it would get better from now on, but I was wrong.

I started learning all I could about bipolar disorder. I needed to know everything: the causes, the symptoms, the treatments, the risks. I had already learned some basics from my education, but I went in depth. I read novels with characters having bipolar disorder, articles, blogs, forums, anything that could help me understand my condition.

However, instead of helping me cope, my knowledge made me worse. Everything heightened.

My mood swings became more frequent and intense. I felt like I was on a roller coaster of emotions: one day I was euphoric and energetic, the next day I was depressed and hopeless. Sometimes I felt both at the same time.

I was also misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) as I used to self-harm to cope.

This diagnosis shocked and angered me. I knew the stigma and drama that came with the BPD diagnosis.

I knew how people viewed BPD as a hopeless case, a manipulative monster, a lost cause. I refused to accept it. Unlike bipolar disorder, which I embraced as part of my identity, BPD was something that I rejected and denied.

I used the bipolar label to get out of situations that I didn’t like or couldn’t handle. Whenever I felt sad or angry or acted impulsive or even irresponsible, I blamed it on an episode.

It was like I was convincing myself that I was bipolar and there was no other way.

I had my active days when I felt like I could do anything. I called them hypomanic episodes. I used the terminology to the T.

It took me a lot of time to let go of the labels that were holding me back. They weren’t helping me; they were making me worse.

People around me didn’t know any better, I told myself. They kept telling me that I was just active or just sad. They could never understand what I was going through.

So this is how I made myself ultra-bipolar.

On the other hand, I read several books and articles about borderline personality disorder (BPD). I started changing myself by controlling my impulsiveness and taking care of my relationships.

I couldn’t stop self-harming. However, I still fought to remove the label that had been wrongly attached to me because of the stigma associated with it. Also, just self-harm isn’t enough to label you as BPD.

Some people nowadays identify themselves with their disorders. They write in their online profiles that they have ‘so and so disorder’. You are more than a label used for communication or research purposes.

Do not use the psychology terminology when it’s not required. It’s only best in a clinical setting. Look for solutions, cures, treatment options that work for you.

Joe Dispenza is a researcher, author, and chiropractor who specializes in neuroscience and mind-body medicine. He claims to have helped people heal from chronic illnesses and injuries by using meditation and visualization techniques, including cancer.

Belief is a powerful factor in healing. Use it.

Authors note- Borderline Personality is a serious condition it does not deserve the stigma it gets. It’s one of the most painful disorders and any professional can tell you it causes a lot of suffering. This article was an honest telling of how the stigma around BPD is- messed up. The people suffering from BPD deserve compassionate and respect.

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