avatarUsman Khalid Qureshi

Summary

The provided content discusses how children inadvertently learn bad habits through indirect learning by observing and imitating their parents' and environment's behaviors.

Abstract

The article titled "How Kids Learn & Develop Bad Habits (In-Directly)" explains that children are like blank slates, significantly influenced by their surroundings and the adults in their lives. It outlines how indirect learning, where children pick up habits by observing the responses and actions of their parents, contributes to the development of negative behaviors such as crying, screaming, fighting, lying, and stealing. The article emphasizes that while parents may not intentionally teach these habits, their own actions, such as reacting to a child's crying with immediate attention, screaming when frustrated, arguing in front of children, telling white lies, or inadvertently condoning theft, can unintentionally instill these behaviors in their children. The author aims to raise awareness among parents about the impact of their behavior on their children's habit formation and encourages them to be mindful of their actions.

Opinions

  • The author suggests that parents' reactions to their children's crying can reinforce the habit of crying as a means for children to get attention or fulfill needs.
  • Screaming as a parental response to a child's behavior is seen as counterproductive, as it teaches children to use screaming to communicate their frustration or to get what they want.
  • The article posits that children learn fighting and argumentative behaviors by observing conflicts between parents or through exposure to aggressive content in media.
  • Lying is depicted as a habit that parents can inadvertently teach their children through well-intentioned lies, such as making medication seem more palatable or using fabrications to control a child's behavior.
  • The author believes that parents can teach children to accept stealing, even if unintentional, by not correcting mistakes like unpaid goods or by making light of taking items that don't belong to them.
  • The article concludes with a call to action for parents to be more conscious of their influence on their children's development of habits, both good and bad.

How Kids Learn & Develop Bad Habits (In-Directly)

Photo By Watcartoon from Freepik

Dear Parents, Kids are a true reflection of us. They are born as a blank Paper. Our behavior and environment shape them

There are two ways kids learn Habits; one is “In-Direct Learning,” & the second one is “Direct Learning.”

In-direct learning is those habits they learn by observing our responses and actions.

Direct Learning is what we teach them by directly communicating with them.

In-Direct Learning:

Development of Crying Habit;

The child first observes how we (Parents) react to their cries. So children's crying habit is developed straight away. We have seen mothers run to feed their children several times whenever they hear them crying. Because, as parents, we can’t bear our children’s cries. On the other hand, children use their crying habit to fulfill their needs.

Also, Children are brilliant as they observe the response timing concerning their crying volume and duration. So they may configure their Cries’ loudness/duration accordingly.

Development of Screaming Habit;

The child is crying and not listening to us, and suddenly, as a parent, we lose our patience and end up screaming at them. Once children hear our screams, they, in fear, stop crying. However, the child has observed a new tool, which they will use as needed.

So now the child gets more irritated as he cries and screams to get their parent’s attention. With time, the child grows old, and these habits get stronger.

Development of Fighting Habit;

A familiar story in every house is that siblings fight a lot. But how do they know about fighting and arguments? Guess What? Thanks to parents, especially those who oppose or argue with each other in front of their children.

Apart from Parents, Children also observe and learn fighting/argument Habits from the content we show them, e.g., Cartoons, movies, etc.

Development of Lying Habit;

Now we as parents develop this habit in them very slowly and steadily. For example, whenever children are ill, and we have to make them drink medicated syrup, we lie to them, “It’s sweet. Please take it,” or whenever we want them to not go out of the room, especially at night time, we say, “Oh there is a ghost in the next room, or we saw a ghost in the kitchen.”

So by convincing them of our lies, our temporary purpose is achieved, but we teach them to lie directly when they have to convince anyone.

Development of Stealing Habit:

I know many of you will disagree that parents teach this habit. I agree with them, but this is the most in-direct habit we as parents teach our children most indirectly.

Let me share a scenario: “Parent comes home from the grocery shop, and they end up knowing they have one extra bottle of milk not included in the bill. Now, if they don’t go back to return or plan to return it on the next visit or instead of they end up being happy on extra milk, your children will learn that stealing by mistake is not a bad thing.”

Now, another scenario: “ You are eating in a restaurant, and one of the parents praises the cutlery, and in a joke or show off, they put the liked one in the purse. It might be a minor fun incident, but it’s making big marks on tiny brains.

Another typical example would be “Family is having a dinner at McDonald, “ All having the same regular meal. Now the father, being funny, starts eating chips from the mother’s meal without asking, though it’s just a light moment, but again, children are learning a bad habit.

In this subject matter topic, I have covered a few of the bad habits children learn from parents and surroundings in-directly. I agree we don’t teach them purposely, but unfortunately, we become the source of bad habits. I hope I have made my point clear. Thanks for reading this story.

Thank You For Reading.

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Parenting
Kids
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