How I’ve Learned to Practice Gratitude in Every Season of My Life — Even This Brutal One
Time is fast, and life is short. I remind myself of this when I want to skip to the next season. I don’t want to wish away my life, but I don’t want to stew in anxiety either. I turn to gratitude instead.
It seems to really annoy people when I say that I don’t like summertime. It’s true, though. No amount of annoyance is going to make me more enthusiastic for high temperatures, thick humidity, and swarming mosquitoes. Added to that, as a single self-employed parent, working from home while children are on summer break is surely one of the levels of hell.
But today, I was reminded that life is short, and I need to learn to appreciate all the seasons of my life — not just the ones I love best. This is an ongoing challenge for most people. We want to fast-forward to the parts we like and skip the troubles, but the troubles of life add sweetness to the rest of it. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves in order to rationalize the randomness of it all.
This summer has been brutal in more ways than one. The heat index keeps climbing, and heat exposure over a weekend gave me a particularly severe migraine. My medication makes me more sensitive to the heat, but it’s hard to avoid it living in the Deep South in the summer. Still, I try to find something about summer that I like.
The air conditioning is something I like. If I’m honest, it’s the first thing that springs to mind. I also like ice cream on hot days or having a quiet, cool swim in a pool. I like to walk on the beach when I get the chance, and I don’t mind a hike if the shade is thick enough. I love picking fresh berries and harvesting fresh produce from my garden. I love the lush blooms of flowers throughout the season. I love the summer rain best of all — walking in it, reading inside during a summer thunderstorm, or watching my garden soak it all in. It might just be my favorite thing about the season.
But for all the counting up of my blessings, this summer still feels like one of the more brutal I’ve endured. I’ve been quieter, more introspective. It’s been a year of challenges, and while I keep acing them, I am drained from having done so. If I’m honest, some of the challenges have left behind a residue of anxiety I can’t quite remove. I solve one problem — resolve my chronic fatigue or get my car fixed — and another one pops up. I am depleted, and yet the demands keep coming.
If I’m going to truly savor the seasons of my life, I have to figure out how to find joy and gratitude when stress is eating me from the inside out. I can feel the heat pressing against the windows, and inside, I can feel the pressure building. I ask myself if it’s even possible to savor the season when I’m under so much pressure.
Time is fast, and life is short. I remind myself of this when I want to skip to the next season. I don’t want to wish away my life, but I don’t want to stew in anxiety either. I turn to gratitude instead.
I start small. I think of the little things I look forward to during those scorching summer months. I’ve had fresh garden tomatoes almost every day. I’ve learned the simple joy of a tomato sandwich. I’ve picked fresh berries from my own backyard. For a single week, I swam in the ocean and felt some of the stress lift off my shoulders as I floated on the incoming waves.
Before the anxiety can build again, I search for other simple pleasures to hold on to. I watch the hummingbirds outside my window during the day and the fireflies winking outside at night. I’ve woken many nights with a cat tucked under my chin, one resting on my chest, and my dog curled up at my feet. The soft purrs settle me back into deep sleep.
I’m struggling this week, and I’m not trying to pretend it away. I admit the struggle out loud, and the world does not end. I cry in the car, and the boulder that is the whole world wobbles there on my shoulders as I shake from the sobs. I’m drowning in stress, but every good and simple thing I hold on to is a life raft. The kittens tumbling across the floor. My dog’s wagging tail on a long walk. The sound of my children laughing as they head for their treehouse. A double rainbow above my house after a summer storm.
Research shows that a gratitude practice can reduce stress, increase energy, and contribute to a more positive outlook on life. The experience of gratitude releases dopamine and serotonin in the brain, two chemicals responsible for helping us feel happy. It can even reduce pain, improve sleep, and relieve both anxiety and depression. Over time, the simple practice of gratitude can increase our emotional resilience.
6 Ways to Begin a Daily Gratitude Practice
A gratitude practice doesn’t have to be elaborate. It just needs to be regularly utilized. There are many ways to incorporate gratitude into our lives.
Try a written gratitude practice.
Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the best ways to begin a gratitude practice. Writing down what we feel thankful for can be a powerful reminder and reinforce our practice. Yet, it’s not the only way to have a written gratitude practice. We can also write notes of appreciation to people in our lives to let them know that we appreciate them. We can even keep a gratitude jar at home or at work to drop in a note of gratitude every time we think of something we appreciate. Over time, feeling gratitude becomes a routine part of our lives.
Try a gratitude meditation.
A gratitude meditation doesn’t need to be long or complicated. It can be used first thing in the morning, on a break during the day, or before we drift off to sleep. Even a 5-minute gratitude practice can contribute to a healthier lifestyle.
Use breathwork with gratitude.
According to the World Health Organization, stress does more than just ruin our day. It can also contribute to both mental and physical illness. Studies have shown that breathwork reduces anxiety, stress, and depression. A breathwork practice for gratitude can be just as effective as meditation.
Assess our current levels of gratitude by taking a Gratitude Quiz.
It’s a good idea to figure out how much gratitude we already have in our lives. Assessing a baseline level of gratitude through the Gratitude Quiz can show us where we are and what work we might need to do. Sometimes, the direction of our thoughts can sabotage our moods. As we learn to become more grateful, we’ll notice that we’re naturally more positive, too.
Use positive affirmations to appreciate ourselves.
Gratitude isn’t just something we direct outward. We can learn to utilize positive affirmations to show appreciation for ourselves. Building strong self-worth can contribute to a healthier mental state and make it easier for us to access an attitude of gratitude.
Visit with people we feel grateful to have in our lives.
Spending time with more people we appreciate is another way to increase gratitude in our lives. It can help contribute to a more positive frame of mind when we’re around people who make us feel safe, joyful, and appreciative. If we take note of the people in our lives, we may be able to pinpoint ones who make us feel better just by being around them. These are the people we want to surround ourselves with as we build a strong, daily gratitude practice.
Summer might never be my favorite season, but I don’t want to spend the whole of it wishing it away. I want to learn to savor it — even when life is hard and the weather hot. I want to be mindfully present even when it’s hard — especially then. I want to feel all my feelings and not be broken by them, and I want to have good memories of the summer by the time it gives way to fall with all its new opportunities.
I breathe through the anxiety and carry myself from one small moment of gratitude to the next. It’s said that no feeling is final, and I recite that in my head when I feel myself sinking. Soon, it will be autumn. The trees will be bright with the colors of the season. The breeze will be cool and brisk. I will soak up my favorite season and leave summer behind.
But until then, I remind myself to look for the silver linings. I count my blessings. It sounds ridiculously trite, I know, but I don’t want to waste a single season of my life — not even this brutal one.
