Diversity stories

How Is It Like To Be An Immigrant During The Pandemic?

Living and working in a different country is more than changing location.

I would never understand how it is like to be a foreigner unless we relocated to the USA with my wife and children in early 2018. It is impossible to empathize and understand the implications of such a big decision until you wear an immigrant’s shoes.

I would like to share my personal story to give you an idea about the challenges and beauties of living and working in another country. It is definitely much more than a physical relocation activity.

Diversity and cultural differences have always been a part of my life. I was lucky. I was born and raised in an 8500-years-old city, known for its liberal culture, respect to diversity, tolerance to differences, and freedom to live however you want. The city has been a magnet for people from different cultures since the 4th century B.C. and is still a popular touristic place in the Mediterranean. Izmir, in modern Turkey, used to be the gateway on the ancient Silk Road from Anatolia to Italy. The Aegean region has been home to dozens of civilizations throughout history, resulting in a culturally-rich environment. Therefore, accepting and respecting diversity has not been a challenge for us. Moreover, I was lucky to travel a lot for business and experience working with different cultures in the past.

However, relocating to another country was pretty tough because of many intangible factors that stretch your emotional limits.

• You are leaving your parents behind when they are old. They were the first ones to celebrate your success stories before others. They were the ones who were with you, then you failed. When there was nobody around, they were the ones staying with you. It is tough to leave your parents, who unconditionally love you, unlike the rest of the world. In our case, we relocated to another country, 9,000 miles away in another continent. It is the other part of the world and takes 26 hours to leave my home and reach my parent’s home.
• From childhood to adulthood and then to the middle of your life, you develop hundreds of friendships — perhaps even more than several thousand. That is a huge network of people who know you much more than anyone who will get to know you your future. This network is a social support mechanism and one that opens up the doors for you in life. When you move to another country, you leave all this network behind. The internet and air flights made it much easier to communicate with each other. Thus, it requires six people average to reach anyone in the world in this modern society. Still, nothing matches with face-to-face relations and hugging each other. The longer you are away from these networks, the more they will fade away except some that rely on a special cause and a bond.
• In business, after a time as a senior leader, you develop a personal brand. This brand name enables you to become prominent in the business world and job market. Sometimes it opens up unexpected paths for new opportunities at work. A good and trust-inspiring personal brand name flies before you like a messenger and makes you a magnet. Your previous brand name does not exist anymore in a new country, no matter how good your resume is. Your character does not help you stand from the crowd as easily as before. You have to prove yourself again and again in a new and unknown terrain to people who have not been in similar challenges like yours. They will not be able to empathize and be willing to leave their comfort zones to help you unless they have something to receive from you. Your former brand name doesn’t matter anymore to anyone. It is like opening a brand new page in your life.
• Unlike how headhunters were running after to you in your home country, you start running after headhunters. Plus, you have to surf through unconscious biases if you live in a location with no or low level of diversity.
• You leave your culture behind. Since you opened up your eyes to this word, you learned the dynamics of your culture. You know how to stand strong and survive in that culture. Living in a different culture, even though you are knowledgeable it, is not that easy. You have to learn a lot and adapt to it. Like in many cultures, you will encounter glass walls and get tired of hitting them and falling down. So, you have to be creative and willing to do more than enough to strive in a new culture, no matter how excepting that culture is.
• Speaking business English does not help in real life. Sometimes people will not fully understand your dialect. Somedays you will not understand them either.
• Ibn Khaldun says that geography is destiny. Don’t get this wrong by looking at the apparent meaning of the quote. it means that the geography you live in shapes your personality and cultural lenses. You got used to living in your geography. Where I come from was a touristic city by the sea with so many activities. After living for 43 years just by the sea, it was hard for me to live in a land that is 12 hours away from the closest sea. I missed enjoying the 300 days of sunshine in a year. But, we, humans, can adapt quickly. It did not take me a long time to get used to the new climate in the snow.
• If you ever looked at any cultural studies, such as Hofstede’s, you will see some traits to explain different cultures. These factors change from culture to culture. If I look from a high perspective, eastern cultures are collective, and the western cultures are individualistic, meaning people are more self-oriented. This is one of the major differences that shape the way people interact with each other. Living and working in collective cultures makes it easy to make friends very easily. You can socialize quickly. On the other hand, living and working in individualistic cultures means that a social connection doesn’t necessarily lead to a friendship, and making friends takes longer. Cultural experts call collective cultures a peach culture and individualistic cultures a coconut culture. Both the collective and individualistic cultures are as they are. There is nothing good or bad about them. Again I repeat, they are as they are. Both are good. You just have to learn the dynamics of the new culture and adapt. There is an element of culture shock, as explained in each cultural training. This is the key challenge to overcome for any immigrant.
• After you relocate, any activity to purchase a car or a house will require credit history. You may have the best rating in your home country, but this does not count in a new country. In our case, we had to buy our property with higher-than-normal mortgage rates. It wasn’t mostly possible to buy a car with leasing or other options unless we wanted to pay in cash. Only a few European car manufacturers gave some options to immigrants. This is what we used to buy a car through leasing.
• During the pandemic, more than 50 million Americans lost their jobs and claimed for unemployment. If you are an immigrant who lost the job, even your Greencard will not make it easy for you to find a new job during these unprecedented times. It is harder than ever for foreigners to find a job while so many local people are looking for a job in the market. That is pretty straightforward, but it is as it is. I have witnessed some Indian friends without a Greencard who lost their jobs during the pandemic. You cannot imagine the shock they have been through, because they had to leave the country within 60 days. Imagine owning a house and trying to sell it in such a short time. imagine that your children are used to the schooling system and have to go back to their home country almost immediately. Is it not traumatizing? Especially during the pandemic, it wasn’t possible to fly back. You are not only stuck in a new country but also cannot sell your property too. That is a devastating stress factor.
• Imagine relocating to another country with children who don’t speak the language of that country. In our case, one of our children, the smallest one, wasn’t speaking English at all. The change of location and cultural shock was manageable for him, but not being able to communicate at the age of 6 was traumatizing. It took him 6 months to speak English and communicate. Imagine staying in class for 6 hours each working day without understanding anything and communication to express yourself at the age of 6. No matter how great the teachers were to help him, it was a trauma for an outgoing child to stay away from active socialization for a minimum of 4 months until people around start understanding him. Many children avoid playing at that age because they do bot have intercultural skills yet. He just learned to be self-reliant and develop new habits such as making magic shows.
• Many immigrants do not have our resources. They can hardly afford accommodation and transport. I have heard of many immigrants relying on support and working long hours in low-paying jobs. For them, the problems below cannot even be considered a problem. So, we have gratitude for all we have. But, many immigrants coming with an intention to start a better life start in very tough conditions.

Living and working in a different country is one of the best experiences you can have in life. It stretches your awareness. Being alone and away from everything that shaped you before is an unprecedented test of your integrity, strength, and resilience. Such a significant change in your life forces you to leave all your comfort zones and develop you. You cannot imagine its positive impact on the children.

I am pleased about our courageous decision to relocate and try something new in life. Life has a lot to offer in such periods of change. I recommend everyone go beyond their comfort zones and try living and working in another country, if they get such an opportunity. It will be an enriching life experience.

Cheers,

Kenan