How Introverts Can Thrive in an Extrovert-Dominant Workplace

Good news — there is still a need for your quiet creative approach in solitude.

If you’re one of the quiet people at work, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You constantly struggle to be more assertive and contribute to team discussions against your quiet nature.

Let me paint a picture for you that is all too familiar to me and likely for many fellow introverts.

You just left your yearly performance review. You received the highest marks for your quality of work, completion time, accuracy, etc., basically all the areas when it comes to your individual work product.

In the Areas for Improvement section, you received the following feedback:

Needs to be more assertive and share ideas more often in team meetings.
Needs to work better with other team members.
Needs to report task progress and roadblocks more frequently to the team leader.

In the Personal Development Plan section, you were encouraged to attain the following goals, and your next performance review results would take your progress into account:

Lead a team discussion.
Prepare and give a presentation at a team meeting.
Be the lead on a project directing 3–5 team members.
Enroll in a course to further develop your leadership and presentation skills.

Why is it that the Personal Development Plan doesn’t include goals that involve honing your individual work skills and progressing in those areas?

Why is there so much focus on your “people skills”?

This all started just after the turn of the 20th century. In a book by Susan Cain, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” she introduces how this came about in the first chapter titled — The Rise of the “Mighty Likeable Fellow.”

In 1908 this ideal was born out of obscurity when “corporate America was booming.”

Henry Ford is selling Model Ts like griddle cakes, using the slogan “for business and for pleasure.” J.C. Penney, Woolworth, and Sears Roebuck have become household names.

The new economy calls for a new kind of man — a salesman, a social operator, someone with a ready smile, a masterful handshake, and the ability to get along with colleagues while simultaneously outshining them. Dale joins the swelling ranks of salesmen, heading out on the road with few possessions but his silver tongue.

The Dale mentioned above is none other than Dale Carnegie, a key founder and proponent of training up armies of these “Mighty Likeable Fellows” starting in 1912. The foundational principles of his courses are still taught today over 100 years later.

His personal development courses were a resounding success because many companies demanded it, and they still demand it today.

Creativity in Solitude Should Not Be Thrown Out

So much emphasis is given in companies today that creativity is best fostered by collaboration through “brainstorming sessions” or other types of group interaction where ideas can be shared “freely.”

This problem with this approach is that many introverts will sit there quietly and not “freely” share their thoughts and ideas because many fear speaking up in group settings.

They would rather retreat into a quiet place to come up with their ideas alone in complete solitude.

In a New York Times article by Susan Cain titled “The Rise of the New Groupthink,” she says there is a problem with companies' view that “creativity and achievement come from an oddly gregarious place.”

That “Lone geniuses are out. Collaboration is in.”

There is still room in the workplace for deep thinkers whose creativity thrives as an individual lost in thought. Cain says:

Research strongly suggests that people are more creative when they enjoy privacy and freedom from interruption. And the most spectacularly creative people in many fields are often introverted, according to studies by the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Gregory Feist. They’re extroverted enough to exchange and advance ideas, but see themselves as independent and individualistic. They’re not joiners by nature.

Both approaches to the creative process should be equally acknowledged and accepted.

Introverts Flourish When They Are Left Alone

Throughout history, plenty of great inventors and thinkers did not develop their breakthroughs working in large open office spaces where collaboration and brainstorming sessions were the norm.

Most, if not all, of them, were at home alone in a quiet room where their imagination and thoughts could flow freely without interruption.

I am one of those who thrive when I am left alone in complete silence or with some inspirational music playing in my ears. Like many other quiet thinkers, I have done some of my best work as a software development professional during the wee hours of the night — alone.

In fact, one of my most common critiques throughout my career has been that I seem to disappear into a “black hole” where I have little or no contact with anyone on my team for days, even though the result is almost always a great work product.

Everyone works differently and not all people need constant contact and collaboration with others when working on something difficult.

Are you tired of managers that continue to put team members in the same box, assuming that everyone is productive in the same manner? Flexibility is the key as everyone is different.

Some do thrive in group collaborations to solve problems to get things done creatively. Other less social people would rather retreat into a corner for quiet contemplation to figure things out.

Can both achieve the same results? Yes, of course. But allowing and accepting each person’s approach to creativity empowers them, giving them a better chance to succeed in the given task at hand.

In an article published by Inc. magazine, they list “23 of the Most Amazingly Successful Introverts in History”, many of which fall in a similar camp as me, and I suspect a score of others.

The article quotes several of these 23 people who say they did their best work while working alone.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.” — Albert Einstein

“Well, I think introverts can do quite well. If you’re clever you can learn to get the benefits of being an introvert, which might be, say, being willing to go off for a few days and think about a tough problem, read everything you can, push yourself very hard to think out on the edge of that area. Then, if you come up with something, if you want to hire people, get them excited, build a company around that idea, you better learn what extroverts do, you better hire some extroverts (like Steve Ballmer I would claim as an extrovert) and tap into both sets of skills in order to have a company that thrives both in deep thinking and building teams and going out into the world to sell those ideas.” — Bill Gates

“I’m going to give you some advice that might be hard to take. That advice is: Work alone. Not on a committee. Not on a team.” — Steve Wozniak

I realize that not everyone prefers to work alone. But for those of us that do, give us our space, and we will produce some pretty amazing stuff.

Fitting Into the Extrovert Ideal Culture

The “Extrovert Ideal” culture is here to stay. This term defined per Susan Cain’s “Quiet” book is:

The omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups.

The development of your “people skills,” as found in your performance review, cannot be ignored as much as you would like it to. But, don’t shortchange the value of your personality traits as an introvert. We need those in society to balance things out in what can be called “quiet leadership.”

Introverted people do need to learn how to promote themselves somewhat to be successful in their chosen profession. In Susan Cain’s “Quiet” book, she sums this up perfectly:

As adults, many of us work for organizations that insist we work in teams, in offices without walls, for supervisors who value “people skills” above all. To advance our careers, we’re expected to promote ourselves unabashedly. The scientists whose research gets funded often have confident, perhaps overconfident, personalities. The artists whose work adorns the walls of contemporary museums strike impressive poses at gallery openings. The authors whose books get published — once accepted as a reclusive breed — are now vetted by publicists to make sure they're talk-show ready.

Stretch Yourself Outside of Your Comfort Zone

When you are in meetings with lots of people, instead of staying quiet like you usually do, consciously plan to stretch yourself to speak up on several topics you feel you can contribute.

If I don’t plan this ahead of time, I chicken out and shy away if I am left to decide this in the heat of the moment. Be assertive and add your perspective and two cents.

You will also find that the more often you speak up, the more you get used to hearing yourself speak in groups and actually start feeling more comfortable.

That’s what it does for me.

Does it take a lot of energy out of me and leave me exhausted when I am more assertive? Absolutely. It can take me hours to recharge from a one-hour meeting in which I was very active.

But it’s important that the quiet ones on a team also share their ideas and contribute to the overall company goals. Otherwise, if you keep your comments or ideas to yourself, the team or company as a whole may miss out on:

An innovative product feature
A process efficiency cost savings
A groundbreaking marketing idea for a key client
An engineering idea or breakthrough
The list goes on and on…

Prepare Yourself Ahead of Time

One thing that helps me, especially when it comes to having to lead a team discussion or give a presentation, is to collect my thoughts way ahead of time and even rehearse a few times. This is even true if I plan to speak up in a team meeting, depending on the topic and how many words I will likely need to speak.

Thinking on your feet doesn’t come naturally to everyone, especially those who are not comfortable speaking in groups. In fact, I stumble on my own words often if I don’t formulate what I am going to say. This is why I stay mostly quiet in meetings, the fear of not speaking smoothly or sounding stupid.

Many introverts prefer written over verbal communication. So oftentimes, if you plan to contribute to a particular topic or discussion point, you can send out an email ahead of time and refer to that again during the discussion.

How to Get Through Company Socials

Social gatherings and team building events are what the “Mighty Likeable Fellow” lives for, where they can outshine their introverted counterparts. Not always, though — many quiet employees surprisingly can turn into “pseudo-extroverts” when in social situations.

If you’re part of a team or organization at a company, these types of events are inevitable. It’s not usually an option to skip them, but I have seen some fellow team members absolutely refuse to attend company events.

Unfortunately, many introverted hardliners who take this stance usually miss out on opportunities in the workplace or are not seen as a “team player” if they choose not to attend these events.

Of course, it’s not right, but company leaders seem to put more weight on participation and attending these company-sponsored events than we make like.

One recommendation I have seen work for me at such events is to hitch your wagon to a few of your extroverted colleagues when making the social rounds.

They seem to love the spotlight and have the gift of gab, so you can literally let them do most of the talking and entertaining, chiming in now and then with a witty comment.

If you choose to go it alone in a one-on-one conversation at these functions, it's best to have a few relevant topics prepared ahead of time. Otherwise, you will encounter that awkward silence. However, if you find an extrovert, a one-on-one will work. Let them do the talking and interject comments here and there.

Allow for Recharge Time in Your Schedule

This is one of the most important things you must do to survive in the “Extrovert Ideal” culture in the workplace.

Just like when you have to refuel at a gas station when your car’s gas tank is empty, you must provide recharge time in your schedule after stretching yourself to be a pseudo-extrovert in your workplace.

Otherwise, you won’t function and will appear like you’re walking around in a coma from being over-stimulated.

Here are some things you can do to recharge:

Take a regular lunch hour every day to break up the workday — alone.
Walk to a coffee shop with 1 or 2 other introverted colleagues. Chances are if they came from the same meeting, they wouldn’t mind minimal conversation either.
Walk to a park to read a good book.
Schedule regular vacations and personal time off.
Take a “mental health day” in the middle of a particularly grueling week.
Keep your evening and weekend schedule as free as possible with minimal people interaction. I know that this isn’t always possible with a family, holidays, etc. However, it is critical not to busy yourself so much that you don’t have ample quiet time to recharge.

I have personally incorporated many of these suggestions, and they allow me to sufficiently recharge my battery enough to perform the needed pseudo-extroverted duties that can really drain me.

Final Thoughts

Performance reviews will always include evaluation items such as your people skills, leadership skills, participation in company events, and a laundry list of other expectations of how to continue developing these types of desirable skills.

It is sometimes frustrating to stretch ourselves to fit into the gregarious ideal, outside of most introvert’s comfort zones. However, through personal development, we can become more well-rounded and learn new skills to advance ourselves in a world that demands it.

If we choose not to play the game somewhat to self-promote ourselves, we will be the best-kept secret around and will most likely not achieve our full potential.