How Introversion Can Be a Superpower When People Ostracise You

A blessing in disguise

When I was 12, my schoolmates beat me up on my way home, all because of my superpower.

Introverts have many superpowers.

My favourite is our ability to stay alone and thrive in solitude.

To others, staying alone is pitiful, but everyone needs to learn it because sometimes you might not have a choice.

Ostracize sounds harsh, but

Have you ever been in a situation where others make you feel left out?

They exclude you from general activities, maybe by refusing to let you into their cliques or giving you the silent treatment.

I’ve been in this situation many times.

Although it hurt initially, it made me see that being an introvert has benefits. Also, it enabled me to learn more about myself and embrace who I was.

The scenario at the start of this post was the first time I was bullied by exclusion.

A punishment or a blessing in disguise?

I was a 12-year-old introvert in a new school, always sitting alone in a corner while my classmates chatted with their friends.

To them, my quietness was bizarre.

They thought I felt superior to them, which wasn’t surprising because most people think introverts are snobbish.

One day, I overheard them plotting.

They planned to ignore & exclude me until I got frustrated and apologise for snubbing them.

At first, I felt miserable.

It was hard to understand why anyone would do that and why they judged me without getting to know me.

Every day, they waited for me to talk to them so they’d have the pleasure of ignoring me, but I never did.

Although I was sad, they did me a huge favour.

I didn’t need to worry about strangers talking to me and me trying so hard to make friends.

So, I kept myself busy doing things I enjoyed, like reading novels and getting lost in my thoughts.

That made them more furious.

One day after school, they confronted me on the road and beat me up. I can’t remember how much damage they did, but I remember crying all the way home.

After that, I decided to keep to myself until I left the school a month later.

But some of my classmates kept trying to make friends with me. The same people who planned to give me the silent treatment wanted to reconcile because they couldn’t take the silence.

How ironic is that?

Learn to Thrive in Solitude

Embracing solitude helps you feel comfortable with your company, especially when people are trying to make you feel ignored.

Here are some obvious but effective things I did to enjoy being alone:

Learn something new: It can be a hobby or a subject. As long as you’re curious about it, just dive in and embrace every feeling it brings.
Reading: If you don’t like reading, you can use audiobooks. If you can’t carry a book around, try ebooks. Reading creates a feeling that you’re in your own world. Just make sure it’s a topic you enjoy.
Connect with Nature: Have you ever stared at the cloud for over five minutes? To me, nature is like hypnosis; it distracts you from the worries in your mind. You’ll definitely feel peaceful and refreshed.
Self-Care Routine: Self-care means different things to different people. To me, self-care means indulging myself by eating a bowl of my favourite cereal. What does self-care mean to you?
People-watching: Humans are fascinating. Sometimes, you should sit back and observe people interact with each other. You’ll learn a lot; just be careful not to look creepy.

To thrive in solitude, you must embrace it as an opportunity for personal growth and inner peace instead of seeing it as loneliness.

Practical Steps to Deal with Social Exclusion

Social exclusion is one of the most common forms of bullying.

It leads to a negative view of self, sadness and low performance. There’s always this feeling that you don’t fit in, and it hardly ever goes away.

If you’re ever in that situation, try these steps to manage it:

Communication: Consider speaking to the persons involved to determine if the problem is deliberate. Approach them and express your feelings, but don’t make it look like a confrontation.
Seek support: You can find social groups where people genuinely value you for who you are. When you surround yourself with positive vibes, it can offset the harmful effects of social exclusion.
Develop Resilience: Resilience helps to outlast challenges like bullying. You can build emotional resilience by working on your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Set Boundaries: If necessary, establish clear boundaries with individuals who try to make you feel low. Politely but firmly let them know you want to be treated respectfully.
Seek professional help: If the situation becomes unbearable, you can get guidance from a therapist or counsellor. They will provide coping strategies and support during challenging times.

Conclusion

While social exclusion is wrong, you can’t always control people’s actions. So it’s better to learn the introvert’s superpower: thriving in solitude.

When you do, you can unlock personal growth, understand the world within you, and know how to deal with the outside world.