How Instagram Ruined My Two-Year-Long Relationship

I used to be a phone addict.

Every day, I would spend 6–8 hours on my phone just staring at a screen.

Around 3 hours minimum of this would be spent scrolling through Instagram.

Anytime I had free time, my brain would instantly go, “Instagram!” and I would check notifications, DMs, and then scroll for hours on end.

During this period of phone addiction, I somehow managed to get a girlfriend.

My addiction and her did not get along.

It Does No Harm, Right?

I remember a time when we were together and I worked for Pizza Hut, which is very funny to look back on.

During my shift, I cut Pizzas and watched videos on how to dropship (my idea of getting rich back then). I left my shift feeling drained, yet I was excited to go home to my roommates and girlfriend for movie night.

I walked in and settled in with the crew and got comfy in my seat ready to watch the movie. My girlfriend was by my side, with all my roommates and friends surrounding us in chairs ready to watch.

Me being mentally drained and settling into “free time”, my brain did the jump to, “Open Instagram!”. Of course, I listened and enjoyed my mindless scrolling which I viewed as a pastime activity.

For a huge portion of the movie, I was on Instagram scrolling away. I was so happy being surrounded by people I loved and being able to pass the time away with them. Once the movie ended, we all packed up and got ready to sleep, with my girlfriend following me to my room.

I walked in excitedly to talk with her and sleep when all of a sudden I turned around and she was balling her eyes out.

I was shocked.

My first instinct was to hug her and ask her what was wrong, only for her to wipe away her tears and look me in my eyes saying, “I feel you’re never present when you hang out with me. You’re always on your phone when we’re together and it makes me feel like you don’t care for me.”

These words broke my heart.

I tried explaining that I viewed this time home as “downtime” from work, but the more that I talked the more I realized it was a problem.

How could I let my phone addiction make my partner feel unloved?

I asked myself this, and apologized to her, promising that I would work on it.

Making Progress, But Is It Enough?

The week following was probably the biggest change of my life.

I committed to decreasing my screen time, and I dropped from eight hours daily to thirty minutes daily.

It was as if that promise gave me the strength to cure my addiction, giving me the strength to stay present in my life and live up to the expectation I set for myself.

That week ended up being one of my favorite weeks of all time. I felt I had the space and clarity to know myself and be present with those around me, especially my girlfriend.

However, breaking a decade-long addiction simply can’t be done in a week. Slowly but surely the addictions kicked in again, going back up to one hour the next week, then two, then three, maxing out at four hours a week.

I still managed to keep it at four hours a day, which is 50% better, but I felt it wasn’t enough.

The Downfall of it All

Now before I continue, my girlfriend wasn’t a saint with Instagram either. Yes, she was able to be present around others, however, she would also get consumed by infinite scrolling leading to a high screen time like me.

So, as I constantly strove to decrease my screen time, I would constantly criticize not only myself but also my partner for her excessive Instagram use.

This criticism kept constant tension on us and made every other problem in our relationship amplified until we couldn’t take it anymore.

We ended up breaking up since we both felt we couldn’t open up to each other and it would be better to split, and our differences tore us apart.

I continued decreasing my screen time, but will never forget the strain it caused on my relationship.