How Infertility Impacts Your Appreciation for Parenthood

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Abstract

ou’ve had a hard time conceiving there’s the ping of hurt inside. Met with, “why can’t I have that too?” And that old familiar feeling is there while trying for our second. This time I try to remind myself that if our daughter is all we’ll ever have, then that’s more than enough to be thankful for.</p><p id="83f0">The highest level of pain comes from those who may not understand what a gift they have. The friend who didn’t want children at all, but who is doing this because they feel like it’s the next logical step. The one who was a little disappointed they got pregnant so fast and that they hoped it’d take a little longer. The one who shares they’re relieved with each month they’re <i>not </i>pregnant while they’re trying.</p><p id="c1b2">The ones who are hoping for a specific gender to try and pass on the name or balance the genders of the household rather than simply hoping for good health, and not recognizing how easy it is to pass on genetic conditions like cancer or chronic illness. Which is a considerable concern for those who want children so badly and but have fear of passing on a chronic illness they or family members may have experienced.</p><p id="fe62">I don’t question their love for their children at all. I know their love is endless and unconditional. I support them as they share their truths and no matter how much it hurts from my perspective, I still value where they’re coming from.</p><p id="8081">It can be a disappointment when you don’t get everything you want as you want it. It’s also painful when you see it work out, “according to plan” for others.</p><p id="8ca7">Unfortunately, this is what society does to us. It’s normal to plan. Most of us develop our idea of when and how many children we’ll have. And while it’s important to discuss family planning with our partners, it’s easy to feel like we’re failing when it’s not happening as we anticipated

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. We feel like we’re not succeeding and we become envious of those whose lives seem to be falling into place as they hoped. None of which is their fault.</p><p id="645f">I don’t know the answer to how we break out of the expectations that society places on us. For those who have walked a similar path know you’re not alone.</p><p id="bfc6">And for those who haven’t had a hard time becoming pregnant — don’t feel guilty, but please be aware and kind with your words. We don’t know the type of battle that’s going on internally for others who may be trying to conceive.</p><p id="77ed">Going through infertility has given me such a sense of gratitude for what I do have, and I don’t know if I would have that same understanding and appreciation had everything gone according to our “plan.” I’m always awe-struck when life reveals those valuable lessons.</p><div id="d211" class="link-block"> <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/i-met-my-daughter-in-a-dream-4aea7a741964"> <div> <div> <h2>I Met My Daughter In A Dream</h2> <div><h3>How a dream gave me hope during infertility.</h3></div> <div><p></p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*J7G10xd3kbAHVxZu)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h1 id="0771">About the Author</h1><p id="042a"><i>Sarah Seweryniak was born and raised in Buffalo, New York. She received her bachelor’s degree in Communication Media Arts in 2009 from Hilbert College. Sarah’s writing career has spanned over a decade, writing for local newspapers and online publications. She loves writing pieces that connect, inform, and inspire. <a href="https://sarahseweryniak.ck.page/">Click here to subscribe to her e-mail list.</a></i></p></article></body>

The path to parenthood isn’t easy for everyone

No matter how ready or unprepared you are, parenting is challenging. Through the triumphs and challenges of parenthood — seeing the miracle of a person made up of parts of yourself is truly amazing and fulfilling.

Now, the path to parenthood is different for everyone. For me, it has been difficult. It took a year and a half — almost two years before my husband and I discovered we were pregnant with our daughter. And even now, as we hope to expand, we’re still met with the mental, emotional, and physical challenges of trying to create life.

When you’ve had difficulty conceiving a child, you tend to have a different perspective once you have finally received that gift. Why? Because, for me, it is a miracle that I have my daughter.

I came to the realization that the probability and likelihood of her existence means she beat the odds to be here. A child’s path to you, whichever way that is, is remarkable. And that’s a perspective that I don’t think I would’ve had if I didn’t have difficulty conceiving.

As friends and family near and dear to me have expanded their families, I’ve witnessed various situations. Some have shared a similar path of difficulties like mine and others have had a far easier time getting pregnant. I’m always filled with such joy when anyone receives the gift of a child.

But when you’ve had a hard time conceiving there’s the ping of hurt inside. Met with, “why can’t I have that too?” And that old familiar feeling is there while trying for our second. This time I try to remind myself that if our daughter is all we’ll ever have, then that’s more than enough to be thankful for.

The highest level of pain comes from those who may not understand what a gift they have. The friend who didn’t want children at all, but who is doing this because they feel like it’s the next logical step. The one who was a little disappointed they got pregnant so fast and that they hoped it’d take a little longer. The one who shares they’re relieved with each month they’re not pregnant while they’re trying.

The ones who are hoping for a specific gender to try and pass on the name or balance the genders of the household rather than simply hoping for good health, and not recognizing how easy it is to pass on genetic conditions like cancer or chronic illness. Which is a considerable concern for those who want children so badly and but have fear of passing on a chronic illness they or family members may have experienced.

I don’t question their love for their children at all. I know their love is endless and unconditional. I support them as they share their truths and no matter how much it hurts from my perspective, I still value where they’re coming from.

It can be a disappointment when you don’t get everything you want as you want it. It’s also painful when you see it work out, “according to plan” for others.

Unfortunately, this is what society does to us. It’s normal to plan. Most of us develop our idea of when and how many children we’ll have. And while it’s important to discuss family planning with our partners, it’s easy to feel like we’re failing when it’s not happening as we anticipated. We feel like we’re not succeeding and we become envious of those whose lives seem to be falling into place as they hoped. None of which is their fault.

I don’t know the answer to how we break out of the expectations that society places on us. For those who have walked a similar path know you’re not alone.

And for those who haven’t had a hard time becoming pregnant — don’t feel guilty, but please be aware and kind with your words. We don’t know the type of battle that’s going on internally for others who may be trying to conceive.

Going through infertility has given me such a sense of gratitude for what I do have, and I don’t know if I would have that same understanding and appreciation had everything gone according to our “plan.” I’m always awe-struck when life reveals those valuable lessons.

About the Author

Sarah Seweryniak was born and raised in Buffalo, New York. She received her bachelor’s degree in Communication Media Arts in 2009 from Hilbert College. Sarah’s writing career has spanned over a decade, writing for local newspapers and online publications. She loves writing pieces that connect, inform, and inspire. Click here to subscribe to her e-mail list.