How I’m Learning To Add a Healthy Scoop of Positivity to My Diet

Dancing Elephants Book Project Positivity Group 1

When I read about people whose outlook is always positive, I find myself curious as to what their secret is. Yes, I know positive thinking is a learned mindset but personally speaking, I wonder if I subconsciously resist adopting a positive mindset — preferring the familiarity of being the serial worrier that I am.

What I’ve gradually come to realize is that not being able to be positive does not mean something is broken in me. Sometimes I just need a little help to see that elusive silver lining in a dark storm cloud.

In my neck of the woods, saying that people are stressed 24/7 is an understatement. The main reason for it is the huge bite Covid -19 has taken out of them — both mentally and financially.

The city I live in is the second most expensive for renters in the United States. Daily, the news carries stories about how people are priced out of the city area and have to pack up their belongings and move way out to find affordable places to live. Others can barely make ends meet working two or even three jobs because of the rising gas and grocery prices. Racial tensions continue to be at an unprecedented high.

Just when we thought we had our plates full, we get hit with the latest news that World War III may be imminent on account of Ukraine’s invasion by Russia.

Amidst so much bad news, I would say it is very difficult to be in a positive frame of mind unless one can be so lucky as to be able to tune out bad news or wash your hands off things that you have no control over.

Could this be an act of self-preservation or selfishness?

If you are like me, you may find it difficult to communicate fears and anxieties to the immediate family because of the feeling that though they may sympathize, they don’t necessarily get it. Going to my doctor would likely result in him prescribing something to alleviate my anxiety which is not quite the solution I seek.

Fortunately, I found my answer online and drummed up enough courage to ignore the stigma attached to seeking help, help for anxiety that is, and signed up to be part of a local support group.

Joining a support group is helping me add a healthy scoop of positivity to my diet

Wednesdays from 7.30 PM to 9:00 PM is a time I look forward to pressing the pause button on everything else happening around me and just focusing on my mental health which I do by participating in a support group -the Exhale Club’s weekly meeting via Zoom.

Perhaps you are curious about the name “Exhale Club.” Considering it is inspired by the simple yet highly effective meditation for stress relief — inhale the good and exhale the bad, I feel the name perfectly embodies the idea behind the group.

The Exhale Club was created by Marla, the facilitator of our group, to provide people with a venue to exhale and reboot during a time when social isolation has led to shrinking friend circles and limited interactions.

According to the Mayo Clinic a support group “ provides an opportunity for people to share personal experiences and feelings, coping strategies, or firsthand information about diseases or treatments.”

In a year plagued by pandemic woes, the Exhale club has been able to band together thanks to the communication marvel that is Zoom. As Life Coach Directory puts it “Connection with others is so often a source of positivity in maintaining our emotional wellbeing. Having friends to talk with, laugh with, be vulnerable with adds so much to our lives (accepting differences for extroversion and introversion).”

I have to admit that being an introvert made me uncomfortable initially about opening up and sharing details of my life with the group. However, over time, it has become a safe space for me to talk about my personal struggles; a haven of solidarity, comfort, and understanding.

3 things I’ve learned from being part of a virtual support group:

• That it’s ok to ask for help: Sometimes it means stepping out of my comfort zone and being brave enough to show my vulnerable side. This is emphasized in Dr. Barton Goldsmith’s article Talk About Your Problems, Please in Psychology Today “Learning that it’s okay to talk about our problems can feel a bit like a trip to the dentist. You know that the discomfort will stop once you get the tooth fixed, but you don’t want to go through the process because it hurts too. And sometimes, with emotional issues, you may be embarrassed to share what’s really going on for you. That’s why it’s so important to talk with someone who is comforting and nonjudgmental.”
• Offers a different perspective: It is always helpful to get a different perspective on a nagging issue as Dr. Barton Goldsmith elaborates “You may find that brainstorming with another person or even a group will help you find new ideas to help you move forward. When you know someone has your back, that emotional support can make all the difference.”
• Teaches different relaxation techniques: Marla is big on breathing exercises and also encourages the group to journal. I’ve discovered the latter to be very self-soothing as it not only gives voice to some of the thoughts I am unable to express but also provides an avenue for self-reflection.

Therefore, it will not come as a surprise, when I say that even though I have come to the Zoom meetings following a bad day, I invariably leave in a more positive frame of mind.

There is a saying that life’s roughest storms prove the weight of our anchors. An anchor has a grounding effect and prevents us from going down in flames when life batters us black and blue. Anchors help us ride out swells that are the curveballs life invariably throws at us and their comforting weight is a source of strength and reassurance.

I’m truly grateful that the Exhale Club is one such anchor for me.