How I Wrote a Novel Based on My Real Life & Why I Would Do It Again
They say, “write what you know.”
I never thought I would take it quite so seriously. As an author, I always tried to write books that I thought were interesting… at the expense of my own writing voice.
After a failed novel attempt, I finally sat down and wrote the book that I was scared to write. This book just so happened to be a fictionalized version of my own romantic relationship.
To date, it is the hardest, most rewarding, and best piece of writing I have ever created. I’m sure if you dive deep into your own life, you can pinpoint the event or person or situation that you would rather chew your own arm off then turn into a book.
It may be time to write that story. Here’s how I made it work.
I decided to write in a limited third person
If I was going to write fiction about my own life, I needed a smidge of space from the story. While I needed to stay close to the emotions, I did not need to submerge myself into them at all times.
During the first draft, if I felt I needed to draw more emotion out of a scene, I would throw myself into the first person, then quickly evacuate back into the third when I needed a change.
I wrote a great story because I had personal insight
When it comes to your own life, you are uniquely suited to tell your story. No one can fully grasp the emotional scope of your life the way that you can tackle it.
I would argue that writing about your own life experience allows you to be more vulnerable in your art. I could create moments of genuine emotion because I had actually experienced them before in my own life.
Yes, you can apply genuine emotions to stories that you didn’t personally live, but there will always be a little distance in that approach. Depending on how skilled of a writer you are, this could be difficult.
I made changes from the “real story” to create a brand new one
This book was never going to be a memoir. I wanted it to be fictional all the way, and in order to make that happen, there needed to be fictional elements. New characters. New storylines. Even new settings.
It’s up to you and the story that you’re telling to decide how to steer away from reality and into your fiction. You can blend two people to create one character. You can give mix real storylines with ones that you invent. Have fun with the process and see what happens.
For me, it was cathartic to create my own ending from a personal story that felt very open-ended for a while. Maybe for you, it’s the middle that needs fixing. Start writing and see where you end up.
I would write another novel about my own life because it was both therapeutic and creative
Closing that chapter of my life in the form of a novel allowed me to move forward from the story. I could work through the odds and ends of the romantic relationship and create my own conclusion. I had the power to end it the way that I wanted.
Plus, it was not only a therapeutic experience for me but for my readers as well. Shortly after publishing, I began to receive emails from women who said, “I had a relationship just like this one.” I heard from total strangers who recommended the book to family members. It was no longer my story, but theirs.
Creativity-wise, writing this book challenged me as a writer. It allowed me to experiment with writing forms and to explore the motivations of the characters that I knew so well. I decided to write the story in a dual timeline, and it inspired me to create quick, even chapters.
Overall, I am most proud of this book because of the history of the story. I loved writing These Are the Moments because it was difficult and deep and immersive.
I dare you to pinpoint the hard stories of your own life.
Now… are you ready to write?
