How I Would Like to Be Remembered

In response to why I want to write for the Dancing Elephants Press book project.

Last weekend I attended the memorial service of my friend Edith who passed away a couple of weeks ago. Four days before she passed away, her husband was cleaning their bedroom where he found all her diaries.

He knew that she kept journals but he never touched them thinking these were too personal. But that day on a whim, he opened the diaries.

And there he found out Edith had written about how she wanted to be remembered after her death.

A Very Different Memorial

She wrote in great detail how her funeral and memorial service should be that she didn’t want any makeup on her, how her hands should be placed, or where she would like to be cremated.

She even chose the songs that she wanted to be played on her memorial.

Her memorial was arranged exactly the way she had wanted it to be. It was a very different memorial service that I have ever attended in my life. It was sad but it was also very inspiring at the same time.

She didn’t want anyone to mourn for her, rather she wanted her family and us to celebrate her life. That’s why the title for her service was: “Celebrating the life of Edith”.

Her husband came in his wedding suit and not in a funeral suit because that day was also their first month's wedding anniversary. Although they had been partners for 20 years and parents of two lovely daughters, they decided to get married just a few weeks before she passed away.

There was an unfinished sculpture that she made for her husband as a gift for his birthday a month before she passed away. She managed to finish 95% but couldn’t complete it. Her other sculptor friends pitched in and finished it for her right before she passed away.

She wanted to be remembered through the art, sculptures, and ceramics she created despite fighting cancer.

Her husband lit a fire on an outdoor firepit with a flame which was symbolic of her life or rather the reminiscence of her life that was still there long after she’s gone.

That was one good memorial. We celebrated her life and found comfort and inspiration.

My Vision for My Life

That very day, in the evening, when I was just mindlessly surfing through the net, I came across this article by Sorina Raluca Băbău where she wrote her own obituary.

It seemed to me as if the universe was giving me a hint. It was telling me that it’s time I think about how I wish to be remembered.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” — Paulo Coelho

I know talking about death and writing your own obituary sounds quite morbid. However, it also gives you the time to reflect on your life and how you can live an intentional life. It helps you realize the real difference between living and merely existing.

Encouraged and inspired by Sorina, I did that little exercise. It helped me realize that the only way I wanted to be remembered was through my writings.

As an introvert, I find it difficult to find my place in a social situation, but I am an entirely different person when I take to pen and paper.

This is where I am most alive. This is how I celebrate my life.

I forget my fear, shame, vulnerabilities, and shyness. I knew that I was different but I had always tried to fit in so that I did not cause any inconvenience to anyone. It’s through my writings I realized:

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” — Dr. Seuss

The same week, I was tagged by Lorena (Sharing Randomly) in this article where she invited some writers to take the challenge of writing a book.

I have wanted to write a book for some time now. But honestly. I didn’t have the courage. I didn’t think I have what it takes to write my own book.

But the concept of this book project along with nine other writers seemed so intriguing and motivating. I am so humbled and inspired at the same time that Lorena considered me as a prospective writer.

My vision of writing a book seemed not a distant dream anymore.

Why Do I Write

The strangest thing is I don’t think of myself as a writer. And yet I want to write a book.

I think of myself as rather a storyteller. I write stories about you and me.

A recent movie I watched says that the universe is not made up of atoms, it’s made up of stories. The fragments of our lives are all different stories. The butcher, the barber, the baker, the man distributing newspapers, you, and I are all stories.

I am just trying to capture a few.

I don’t write stories of Elon Musk or Bill Gates. I write stories that matter to me. I share bits of my life experiences — when my 5-year-old daughter was called out as a bloody black immigrant monkey by a white mother, how my heart bled.

The grocer in the farmers market who finds the freshest pineapples for me, the florist who gives me tips and tricks of keeping the flower fresh for long, the lady who sells fresh eggs from her farm and who always asks what my daughter is up to this weekend, or the lady who sells porcelain from Portugal and always makes time to chat with me even though she is very busy — these are all the stories that matter to me.

These are the missing dots that I am connecting to make my life whole.

Why I Wish to be A Part of the DEP Book Project

As Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi says: “The purpose is that the articles can live on and be available for a larger audience.”

I have been sharing my life experiences and challenges with the hope that someone out there, perhaps you, will resonate with my thoughts.

Perhaps you will find hope and inspiration from my writings. Perhaps you will find your purpose and live an intentional life. Perhaps you will learn to celebrate your life even in the face of adversity, long after I am gone.

This is the reason why I want myself to be considered as a part of this book project.

The name Dancing Elephant seemed very intriguing too. In 2018, I read a book named Lone Fox Dancing — an autobiography of Ruskin Bond, my most favorite author. That was the book that had such a great impact on me and called me to write my own book one day.

I would like to thank Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi and the two editors Sharing Randomly and Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles for their initiative on the Dancing Elephants Press Book project.

Last but not the least, along with this book, I have also chosen the following song to be associated with my memory.

Thank you for reading.

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