How I Went from Angry & Isolated to Realizing My Dreams by Connecting With the Flow of Life

It’s not found by resisting what you know to be right. Time to step up.

As you get older, you effortlessly reflect on experiences you could have done differently. By differently, I mean making a different decision that potentially could have led to a positive experience.

I have resisted a lot of things in my life over the last 48 years. Getting married and having kids are the obvious ones. I have never been married and have no kids. I do have 2 half-dead indoor plants.

Resisting experiences and opportunities in life have led to a stifling of experiences and missed opportunities in my life.

If you dare, you can move through life-draining fears, like I have done, and enter the flow of life. Opening yourself up to connections and experiences you could never have dreamed of.

It’s not the corporate ladder you need to climb

Kill or be killed. You need to be prepared to die on your hero’s journey.

Your biggest obstacle on your hero’s journey is taking the next step. This is done by eating the next breadcrumb for your evolution and transformation.

It’s the death of things that don’t serve you, that is the initial step. Letting go of a friendship where they don’t respect your time. Leaving a stressful job. Thinking about your family’s opinions should rule all your important life decisions.

To take up the next step, you lift your leg onto the next rung on the ladder. And your other foot leaves the lower rung as an effortless consequence.

Lifting your leg onto the next rung is:

• Applying for a new job.
• Deciding to spend time with people who commit to meeting up with you
• Acting on your desire to start a new business, that isn’t supported by your family.

Where are the new rungs on the ladder hiding?

There is an intelligence that permeates through life. Even if you don’t believe in a higher power, this intelligence is obvious.

Laws nature. Your physiological system.

• Day follows night.
• Seasons express themselves, year after year.
• Your breath flows 24/7.

These things, along with many others, require no effort on your behalf. They continue to function on your behalf.

To give up your struggle in life step up, and surrender to what is unfolding in front of you. This will allow you to transform and be happy.

You will find your place in life. You are then a cog in the Universal wheel of life.

You will have your needs met as a result of working with others and the world around you.

This does require discernment & some warrior energy

Taking up opportunities as they present themselves allows for ease in life. Which is a fundamental human need.

These opportunities that present themselves are the gateways to this functioning intelligence.

When you resist these opportunities, suffering punches you in the face.

Most of my life I feel like I have been walking around having gone 11 rounds with Mike Tyson. An extra round for my stupidity.

“Damian, what are you doing in this dead-end job?” The administration coordinator frustratedly asked me.

I worked as a duty manager at a gym. It had been 2 years since I had been back from 3 years studying in India. In those two years, I had 5 different jobs.

I had been unexpectedly sacked in two.

My cheerful union rep at the time said:

“Damian, don’t worry about it. You can do a $hit in the middle of the floor and they (my employer) couldn’t sack you.”

I was sacked 2 days later.

The job at the gym only had one stressful element. I was responsible for any emergency that took place in the gym facility during my shift. A patron could drain in the pool. A heart attack in the gym (both did happen over the years.) However, they are very isolated incidents.

The job was low-stress and didn’t require much effort at all. Punch in at 8 a.m. and punch out at 4 p.m. No thought of work when I left each day.

It took 1 year to pick everything up from my dominant Greek Manager. He liked being in a position of power over all of us lower-light support staff.

Bullies don’t like it when you are not subservient to them anymore. But for every bully, there is also a victim. I played the role of the victim.

Due to not moving forward in life and staying in a deadbeat job. I had a low level of anger toward life, coupled with an air of superiority. As I thought of myself as being a smart guy in a shit job.

Because I could do the tasks for this job quickly and easily, I wasted all my spare time surfing the internet. The Greek boss didn’t like this.

And rightly so.

This bully-victim dynamic escalated over 4 years. Ultimately came to a head with me submitting 3 complaints about his inappropriate behavior. All justified complaints, of which I very much contributed to antagonizing him.

This was all because I wouldn’t grow up and get in the flow of life by progressing in my career.

Eventually, things got so uncomfortable that the stress got unbearable.

I left that job for another dull job, for a duty manager role at a shopping center. After a couple of shifts, I knew everything and quickly got bored. Again I wasted all my spare time surfing the internet to kill time.

Three months into this job I got sacked, again.

If you remain like Peter Pan and don’t grow up into the flow of life, you will pay the price. Disagreements with co-workers. A low bank balance. Unfulfilling friendships.

And then there was light

Fast forward 15 years and after being battled scared, life has dramatically changed in the last 18 months.

I have now got into the slipstream of life’s intelligence.

The key has been doing those things that I feared but always wanted to do. Fear is the doorway you can walk through to experience bliss.

The archnemesis in the psychodrama that has been my life, was me. I was the villain.

I now see by not growing up, I caused a lot of pain to others.

I was resisting life. Thinking I wouldn’t be able to handle the extra responsibility that comes with stepping up. This is why I keep staying in dead-end jobs.

Like Mat Damon’s character in Dead Poets Society, I was hiding away in a janitor’s closet. Mopping through life with a chip on my shoulder.

All the time ignorant of the vast opportunities in front of me.

The opportunities are as obvious as the nose on your face

The opportunities over the year and a half have come through acting on desires, feelings, and thoughts that arose in my mind:

• Jealousy — I was criticizing others who were running their own groups.
• Hobbies — I had interests already in various interests.

I could run this men’s group better than this bloke.

I have always wanted to write.

You don’t need someone to tell you what your interests are. Neither do you need a counselor, your boss, or a family member to explain what are your innate tendencies.

You have this self-knowledge already.

Some thoughts and urges linger in your mind. You may be too scared to share these with other people.

Fear holds you back from acting out on these desires. But it doesn’t have to.

Act dam it

I was softly encouraged by a therapist to write an article.

The article flowed effortlessly out the end of my pen and onto the paper. It felt good.

A sense of satisfaction after an action is an indicator from life that you are heading in the right direction.

The 1st draft sat alone in my draw for 3 months.

Now what? If I put it on the internet, some troll may criticize me.

The frustration grew from not breathing life into the article.

With some trepidation, I googled places to publish it. I found this platform.

The article had 5 views in 2 days on this platform. And one comment from a troll. Mixed emotions came up, but overall felt I was on the right track. About 2 months later, I had an article that took off. A few more trolls, but neither the less it felt amazing.

My personal development and spiritual journey over the last 28 years has always focused solely on myself. I read so many books about giving back to others.

Buoyed by the minor success with writing. I saw another opportunity to meet with life.

Play It Again Sam

While I didn’t feel comfortable enough to give a 1-hour personal development lecture. I did feel comfortable facilitating a group activity.

Melbourne, Australia, had some of the most oppressive restrictions in the world during the bat virus. Being a homebody, I was one of the few people who didn’t mind the restrictions.

One reason is I could go for lots of walks around my neighborhood. Either with my ex-partner or a friend. A lot of the walks turned into reciprocal pseudo-therapy sessions.

We would both would:

• Vent long-held emotions related to our parents’ inadequacies.
• Reveal secret dreams.
• Shed a few tears.

We all had many lightbulb moments over those couple of years of these therapeutic neighborhood walks.

Run with your interests

I had decided to start my own Men’s Walk and Talk Group. It’s modeled off a similar group I had attended 6 months ago.

Armed with butterflies in my tummy, I called the man who ran this group. From this one call, everything flowed effortlessly to setting up my group. He knew someone who ran a community center from where I could start my walks.

They were looking for people to run community groups.

Vibing with life can be marked by:

• Coincidences.
• People supporting your endeavor.

If it’s a struggle from the start and you aren’t getting any traction, review your approach. Maybe a small tweak is all that is needed.

The Men’s Walk and Talk Group has been going for 5 months now. Starting with 5 men and now averaging 15 happy participants.

Running the group flowed easily on the outside. But there was anxiety and fear internally. However, when I shifted my focus from myself to helping the men. Magically, the negativity dropped away.

Reaching for the next rung on the ladder worked again.

It’s not about you

There is a metaphor in the Hindu mythology that I love.

It’s Kṛṣṇa playing the flute.

Kṛṣṇa represents life, God, or consciousness. The flute is you, the individual.

This metaphor is an invitation to empty yourself and allow life to flow through you. Get out of your own way.

Fit in with the flow of life. This is done by taking action on those opportunities that are in front of you.

The most beautiful things have been happening in my life because of writing and the men’s group.

They have deeply and expansively affected other people.

• Inspiring a friend to write a book.
• Assisting a reader with a debilitating sugar craving.
• Empowering a man by assisting him in embodying his sexual energy.
• Men creating friendships that have attended my men’s group

When you forget yourself, you get into the groove of life, you find your place. When you slip into that place, it not only provides you with contentment and bliss. You start to feel happy for no reason.

Also, others around you start to feel happy.

Stranger Danger

It’s not all rainbows and unicorns.

I experienced anxiety, nervousness, and fear when I started these new adventures. And I am sure you will feel mixed emotions when you follow your heart.

I experienced anxiety from the bombardment of thoughts as to whether anyone turned up to my men’s group. Being left to feel like a loser.

Bubbles of nervousness come to the surface when I look through the responses to my articles. Any trolls today?

While I don’t have a recipe for removing the anxiety, it has decreased over time.

As you take on bigger tasks and face more demanding situations, what troubled you in the past is now either seen as a trifling conundrum or doesn’t even generate a stressful thought.

I no longer have any anxiety about whether men will turn up to my monthly events.

I don’t think the anxiety will ever completely disappear for everything. But I will continue to venture out into the great unknown as opportunities present themselves.

I know following my heart will be filled with connection with others, happiness, and excitement.

I have noticed a marked increase in my overall well-being because of starting these initiatives. This increase in confidence and contentment lessens the impact of unsettling emotions or negative actions from others.

Ignite your inner passion

I invite you to lower your candle and ignite your wick from my fire.

Take up the hero’s journey.

Act on your energetic urges and long-suppressed dreams.

By selfishly following your own goals, you will fall into the services of others. And it will be oh-so satisfying!

Allow life to breathe through you. Give up the fight. It’s only a battle with yourself, anyway. And neither of you will win that type of battle.

The things you need are right in front of you.

• I liked writing. My writing on Medium has slowly grown over the last 18 months.
• I like going for walks. So it was a slight shift to an organized a group walk.

Give water and fertilizer to your innate interests and tendencies. Life is already stirring you in a certain direction. Turn your boat around and paddle downstream instead of against the current.

It’s easier and a hell of a lot more enjoyable.

Halfway there

While I have not killed my small scared self off and I don’t feel like a hero on my journey, there is a felt sense of a wounded warrior now finally treading along the right path.

When you pull out your Excalibur sword from the stone and take up the hero’s journey, the universe secretly conspires to help you.

Start your adventure now by taking a small step towards one of your dreams!

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