How I Used the Most Unlikely of Methods to Boost Motivation
This article outlines a stellar method to boost your motivation and stop engaging in compulsory behaviors that do nothing for you but waste time.
To help you understand the importance of this practice, I want to illustrate something for you.
Imagine it’s late at night. Realistically, you know you should probably be heading to bed, or even worse, it's already past that time. The only problem is you can not go to bed, not yet.
It's not even because you can't fall asleep, although perhaps that too would be a challenge, but instead, you know you have more that needs to be completed before you can go to bed.
It doesn’t really matter what it is. Perhaps you're putting off wrapping up that report for your boss; maybe it's an essay for English class. Whatever it is, you can not, for the life of you, just complete the task.
Instead, you are an hour and a half into a YouTube binge and beginning to question whether you're actually interested in it or not. Regardless, it's better than actually being productive. In all actuality, it is not, of course, but in this moment and this moment alone, it feels like the best option, or at least the most attainable one.
Perhaps for you it does not look this severe, it may present itself more mildly or in different ways. However, any time that you reach for something to distract you because an emotion or thought has become decidedly unpleasant you lose an opportunity to build up a powerful and all too commonly weakened ability in modern-day life, the ability to sit with discomfort.
It seems a bit weird, I know, but think about it: what fuels that late-night YouTube binge? Of course, as soon as you open it, YouTube’s algorithm is hard at work making sure you are not going anywhere, but focus more on why you opened it in the first place.
Deep down, is this really what you want?
Do you really want to waste time staring at a screen mindlessly scrolling? It is one of those questions that feels like it doesn't even have to be asked; the answer should be obvious, right? In the moment, however, all too often, we forget to even ask the question.
With time, not only does the scrolling become mindless, but so does the act of picking up the phone to begin with. This is where the real danger begins.
I’m hesitant to say we’ve all been there since, for some people, our method of distracting ourselves does look different. There are many potential distractions one can engage in.
- Drugs and alcohol
- Pornography
- Social media
- Video games
- Binge eating
The list is extensive and goes far beyond the ones I have laid out here. What I love about the practice that I’m about to describe, however, is that it works for any of these behaviors.
Understanding Why
Hopefully, I have helped you see this behavior in a new light and showcased how damaging and unproductive it can be, but what we still lack is a detailed explanation of why we do it.
The answer to that is that we all have our own specific reasons for needing to distract ourselves. I will teach you how to find your reasons shortly, but first, let's understand the overarching reasons.
Fundamentally, the problem arises because phones, YouTube, Social Media, and even video games are great distractions from an unpleasantly overactive mind.
The reason for this is often that they are designed to be. All of these things are meant to be stimulating and rewarding. They are, in essence, by design, there to make you forget about everything else.
This is why when you start that content binge, it is so easy for the world to just slip through your fingers for an extended period of time.
Sitting With an Overactive Mind
Instead of giving in to this temptation and distracting yourself, I have a challenge for you. Next time you feel that urge, put your phone down, put any other devices down, and sit on the floor two to four feet away from a wall.
Try to sit in front of some easily identifiable spot on the wall. Perhaps there is a small scratch or divot somewhere you can find; this will work perfectly.
Stare at this spot.
The only thing you have to do is sit there and stare at the wall.
Seriously, that's it. That is the exercise.
At first, you may feel like this is the most unproductive thing you could possibly do. However, in reality, learning to sit with your feelings without distraction is a superpower that few people hold in the modern day.
Now, if you want to get better at identifying what causes you to pick up your phone and maybe even work on eradicating some of those negative feelings, you can bring in some additional elements.
Getting Advanced
As you do the exercise, I want you to pay attention to what's going on in your own head.
- What thoughts are going through your head? Are there common themes in those thoughts?
- How are you feeling?
- What desires are those thoughts and feelings causing?
Those of you who have gone through some types of mental health therapy may be drawing some parallels here, and that's good! There is a reason you should be asking yourself these questions, and that reason is because your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all deeply intertwined.
An Example
Let's say you get a strong desire to pull out your phone and distract yourself. Instead, you sit down, pick your spot on the wall, and begin focusing.
At first, it is difficult to really get on the same level as some of your thoughts, almost as if they are whizzing by in an underground tunnel just out of view. This is ok. Just continue trying.
After a few minutes, your thinking becomes more apparent to you. You answer the questions above as follows.
- What thoughts are going through your head? Are there common themes in those thoughts? Your thoughts are varied, but often focus on something hurtful a friend said to you yesterday.
- How are you feeling? You feel sad and hurt.
- What desires are those thoughts and feelings causing? You have a strong desire to lay in bed and watch YouTube shorts or Instagram reels.
The Link to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Now, assuming you come to some, likely different but similar in format conclusion to the questions above, you may be wondering what we do from here. Really, the goal is just to make the connections in your head between the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
This is actually a fundamental idea of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Even just acknowledging this connection can benefit you immensely, but to take it to the next step, you can start thinking about whether the behavior it's causing is beneficial or not. You also could consider finding alternative coping strategies for the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. I have a whole article in the works about healthy coping strategies and how they compare to unhealthy ones, so stay tuned!
Just to give you some ideas, when you start to feel your emotions or thoughts spiraling and begin searching for a distraction, try instead to choose an activity such as exercise or meditation.
The Habit Forming Machine We Call a Brain
Our brains are fantastic at forming habits. This is why once you've developed the habit of picking up your phone to distract you when strong emotions arise, it can be so hard to break. Luckily for you, with some hard work, you can make healthier habits that will also be hard to break.
If every time you start to feel bad, you force yourself to reach for healthy coping strategies instead of doom scrolling social media, this too will become a habit.
Recognize the Urge
All we have to do to build these healthier habits is identify the urge to distract ourselves and redirect our behaviors in more positive directions.
While this may be difficult at first, the exercise recommended above is specifically designed to make it easier to identify when this is happening.
Finally, Back to the Very Beginning
Remember the example I gave all the way back at the very start of this article? For bonus points, I want you to think about that scenario and try to put into words what the person experiencing might be thinking and feeling, as well as how those thoughts and feelings might be affecting their behaviors.
Remember to reread the situation carefully, as there are a lot of small but relevant details that might hint at why this person is having such strong feelings at that moment. Leave your thoughts in a comment below!
Thank you so much for reading this article all the way to the end. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a clap and checking out some of my other articles. If you have any questions or anything to add to the conversation, please leave a comment! Thanks again!
You may also like the article linked below! It talks all about mental conditioning and how it can be implemented to produce great results in many aspects of life.
