How I Used My Diabetes to Become a Better Person

I now count it as a blessing

The doctor had the test report in front of him showing my sugar readings. They were way off the charts. An uncomfortable silence hung over the entire room. The doctor pronounced his verdict. He told me that I was diabetic. That too at the ripe old age of 25 years. “But,” I said anxiously “doesn’t it happen to older people?”

The doctor shook his head and said gravely “It can happen at any time.” Suddenly the room felt dark and cold. I was only half-listening, as he tried to explain to me how my body had stopped producing insulin because a gene had got triggered and the insulin-producing cells were being destroyed. He also told me that it might have possibly got triggered due to my obesity.

I looked down at my pear-shaped body. “Obese” sounded a much nicer word to describe it than fat, but it was true. I had trouble bending over and tying my shoelaces. My mother’s fears had been proven right. I had been showing all symptoms of diabetes- losing weight rapidly and also being thirsty and hungry all the time. My mom had been after me to see a doctor. I had reluctantly agreed to her pleading, saying there was nothing wrong with me and the doctor’s visit would prove it.

Oh, how horribly wrong I was! Sitting there, my future seemed bleak. The doctor told me I would have to live with the disease for the rest of my life. How could I live with this my entire life when I had not even started it yet? I felt ashamed that I had a disease which, in my view happened only to retired folks.

I had Type 2 juvenile diabetes. It sounded like a death sentence more than a disease at that time to me.

The next 10 years I went through all the classic stages of grief. The first two years, I denied its existence. Then I spent some time feeling guilty for not doing anything, then anger and finally depression. It was already ten years since I had been living with diabetes. Things had only worsened. I had to be operated upon in my back and leg twice due to infections.

I was sick of being sick after so many years of struggling with this disease. I decided to do something about it. My initial steps were slow and measured. I started exercising regularly, then made changes to my diet. As a result, within three years, I had controlled my sugar levels and reduced my weight by 20 pounds.

This may seem to some like a nice story arc- with a hero facing a challenge, struggling with it and finally emerging victorious. Nothing could be farther from the truth. There have been many ups, downs and detours on the way. Yet, this journey has given me a template to make other successful changes in my life. Like running a marathon, learning a foreign language and building positive lifelong habits. I have gone ahead and applied these learnings in many other areas with success.

I have learnt the following lessons about making hard changes in life.

What can you do today?

When I started this journey, I had given up on being able to control my sugar levels. The task seemed insurmountable for me. The trouble was I was too focused on removing diabetes rather than learning to live with it.

I tried alternative therapies. I went to quacks who told me to place magnets on my body, took a thousand different herbs and even did mud therapy. Standing for hours in the sun with mud caked on my body, I felt embarrassed and helpless. Nothing helped me get the better over my condition.

Then I started playing a merry go round with doctors, believing taking multiple opinions would save me. It was equally futile. Who gave the opinions did not matter if I did not act on them. Once, an exasperated doctor told me “You are right now like a person driving blindfolded, on a highway, at the speed of 150 km per hour. “

It hurt and I tried half-heartedly to make the necessary changes. But the immensity of the task would put me off. I would tell myself “I will start exercising tomorrow. I will start dieting tomorrow.” Many tomorrows would come and go away without me doing anything.

Then I changed my approach. I asked “What is it that I can do today? When I focused on the present, things started changing, slowly but surely.

It gets worse before it becomes better.

When I finally started to do something, it actually became worse. I started exercising and gained weight. How was that possible? The fact was I was still eating a lot. Also, my body, having gone through years of abuse, was now resisting change.

It was quite demotivating to not see results immediately. I thought a few weeks of regular exercise would burn away the fat. Meanwhile, my sugar levels were also not going down by much. I realized I needed to try something else.

At that time, I read somewhere that weight loss is 70% about diet. I pored over dietary articles. I realized I needed to make changes in my food composition. It was full of simple carbs like rice, potatoes and bread. I changed that to more complex carbs, proteins and fat. It worked. I reduced a couple of pounds.

My daily sugar reading started climbing down faster than a broken elevator.

What got you here will not get you there

Then after some time, my progress plateaued again. No matter how hard I tried my weight stopped budging again. I had by now realized that doing the same things that brought me results earlier would not help. I had to try something different. Though I had reduced my diet and had started running regularly, I needed to do something else as well.

I read and reflected on what was missing. There was no one thing but while I was doing a lot of cardio, I could also benefit from weight training. So I joined a gym. It was not easy as earlier I used to laugh at people going to gyms. I would say that gyms are only for gym rats- people who want to make muscles to impress others. I had to let go of this negative mindset to join a gym.

My weighing scale started moving down again. Things changed for the better and I am happy to say that I now have less than <25 BMI. It is reducing even further. My sugar levels are in excellent control. What is more, I feel energetic and happy. It is as if I have become five to six years younger.

Success takes time

This entire journey took me three years. I have seen thousands of Quora and Medium articles where people write “How I lost 20 pounds in 3 months”. I read them, shrug and say, “What to do? I am a slow guy and take time to do things. But I do them eventually.”

It is not only diabetes or weight loss. I have learnt French in two years and have been writing a journal constantly every day for the past three years. Same for meditating, reading books and many other positive habits which took me time to build. Hell, it took me a full year to build the habit of brushing teeth during the night.

I appreciate the fact that many people can get success way faster, but I am not one of them. Chances are, you may also be like me. That does not mean you cannot be successful in three years. Now that is my motto for life.

Give anything three years and you will win eventually.

Persistence helps you cross the finish line as this Medium article by Ria Pawar sums it up brilliantly. It mentions a quote from Will Smith which I like a lot.

“The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be out-worked, period. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me, you might be all of those things. But if we get on the treadmill together, there are two things: You’re getting off first, or I’m going to die. “ -Will Smith

This mindset has helped me immensely in building great habits and skills. I have just started writing regularly on Medium. In fact, I write and publish every day since I joined last month. One day my wife asked me how long I intend to continue doing that.

I replied, only half-jokingly, that if I don’t become a successful writer on Medium in three years, I am quitting after that.

I am not sure I will become a successful writer. But I am sure it will not be for want of efforts.

Adversity is a blessing

Would I have read and known so much on health if I was not a diabetic? Maybe. Would I have put in so much effort to exercise and choose right eating habits? Probably No.

Has my struggle with diabetes helped me live a healthier and happier life? Definitely Yes.

Count your blessings, but also count your adversities. They are your blessings turned inside out.

Your struggles in one area can lead you to success, not only in that area but also in other areas in life. My diabetes helped me learn how to do hard things- like waking up early morning, exercising and eating healthy.

It has also helped me learn how to build new habits for success. I have learnt to listen to feedback and work on it.

One day I was writing my Gratitude Journal and a thought struck me. While I express gratitude for many things in my life, I never express gratitude for having problems in my life.

Think about it. How boring life would be without any challenges. I immediately wrote down my thanks for the three biggest challenges in my life. That includes diabetes. I have to live with this disease for the rest of my life. So why not make friends with it rather than cursing it ?

I did the first virtual medical visit of my life last month, thanks to the pandemic. My doctor looked carefully at all my reports. All the indicators were positive, and my sugar levels were absolutely within range.

Closing the report, he flashed a satisfactory smile and asked me “Amazing. How have you been able to improve your health so dramatically despite being diabetic for so long?”

I smiled and replied, “I improved my health and myself, because of my diabetes, not despite it.”