How I successfully tackled my anxiety
Methods anyone can adopt today
I used to think of my anxiety as a Black Swan: an unpredictable event that is beyond what is normally expected of a situation and has potentially severe consequences…
…except a Black Swan event is characterised by its rarity, and my anxiety was anything but rare.
I read voraciously pop-psychology tips, ancient philosophies and science journals that pinpoint strategies to quell such feelings and I have come to the conclusion that self-control of one’s mind set is the way up and through.
I want to share with you strategies that have helped me navigate anxiety and stress in the hope that they may help you too.
I studied Japanese while at university in the late 1990s. Attending classes on East Asian philosophies left its mark on me and while my grasp of Kanji was abominable at best, my outlook on life and how to live it well and peacefully were led by the ideas I read about.
In the late 19th century the Japanese psychiatrist and philosopher, Shoma Morita developed a psychotherapeutic therapy that aimed to treat people suffering from Shinkeishitsu or anxiety-based disorders.
Morita therapy was designed to reduce the debilitating effects of anxiety rather than rid the sufferer of the symptoms.
A week of bed rest and total isolation from outside stimulation is recommended and while this is perhaps not entirely practicable, this form of response to treating anxiety encourages the sufferer to accept reality and avoid self-deception.
Morita believed that anxiety sufferers sought sympathy from those around them and sought out acknowledgement for their emotions from others.
The philosophy behind this therapy is that when anxiety sufferers allow their mind to create facts from akuchi or misplaced intellect, sufferers create a new subjective reality from which they derive their self-worth and understanding of their situation.
When we decentralise ourselves and become aware of what is really going on around us, looking at the world and our lives objectively, we can, according to Morita, set ourselves free.
Acknowledging our pain, accepting it, but then committing to personal action to make fundamental changes, is the Morita way through psychological pain.
The therapy advocates a state of mindlessness where the anxiety-sufferer voluntarily and willingly focuses on losing awareness of the attention they once placed on negative thoughts.
Morita likens this to travelling by train where we are not aware that our body is moving because it moves at the same speed as the train.
When the anxiety sufferer is fixated on his or her symptoms, they cannot experience anything else:
This is unhealthy attention.
Morita suggests that the sufferer should focus on mushoju-shin, or healthy attention to arrive at a point of greater inner strength.
In this sense, Morita therapy (which has influenced Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT)) aims to:
- re-mould the anxiety sufferer’s thought processes by noticing the world around them, being present in the current moment
- encourage the acceptance of a true reality
- develop personal values
- encourage the taking of committed action.
I believe that this philosophy of well being is hugely relevant and valuable to a person experiencing anxiety or stress.
By following the main principles of Morita therapy I was able to grasp that acceptance is an active choice: you either choose to accept your reality, emotions, past trauma etc. or you don’t.
One brings release and peace whereas the other builds suffering and pain.
If you choose to accept how you feel — perhaps you feel anxious— it doesn’t mean that you like it, it simply means that in that moment, you will allow it to exist but you understand that you can take action to allow such negative feelings to pass.
Journal writing can be a very effective strategy when trying to accept our emotions.
Noting down how we feel in one moment can be a powerful exercise to bring about an awareness of our situation.
Being able to see how we feel can allow us to accept and then take action to try to alleviate our current mental state.
Writing down your negative feelings and then throwing them away can be visually quite powerful and emotionally cathartic.
Here are some journaling prompts to show how this could work:
How do I feel right now?
Anxious and fearful about a social situation I have been invited to.
How would I like to feel?
Relaxed and excited to go out.
What thoughtful action can I take to make this my reality?
- Place my feet on the floor and take five deep breaths.
2. Notice and identify my fears. Imagine I am standing on a train platform. A train is passing me by, each carriage is labelled with my fears.
I watch it pass through the station. I can see it and I acknowledge and accept that it exists in that fleeting moment, but I am not getting on this train.
3. Write down the things I could I gain if I faced my anxious fears, such as making new connections with others, laughter, etc.
4. Think about what means the most to me in the world. How could attending this event bring me closer to what I value?
5. I will lay out the clothes that make me feel good and confident. I will put them on.
6. I will repeat the positive affirmations, ‘I know that I am not my anxiety’ and ‘I am courageous and can make it through’, three times in a mirror. I will accept this as my reality and smile in the mirror.
Clarity of mind is a desirable state.
Achieving this might seem unreachable, however you can play an immediate and significant part in this journey by making a concerted effort to deal more proactively with negative thoughts.
If you keep repeating the same behaviours of allowing negativity into your mind by opening the door and welcoming it in with open arms, you will get the same results:
negativity begets negativity.
As you feel negative thoughts entering your mind, try to repeat a mantra or a positive affirmation in your mind.
If you are alone, say it out loud, repeatedly.
If you are in company, say it in your head or write it out over and over.
Get yourself a notebook and write down your mantras.
Reach for it whenever you feel the creep of negative thoughts.
I have one written on a card and stuck to my bathroom mirror. It reads,
‘Nothing ever happened in the past that can prevent you from being present now and if the past cannot prevent you from being present now, what power does it have?’
I repeat this quote by Eckhart Tolle in my head for three minutes as I brush my teeth each morning. It sets me up for the day and reminds me to keep moving forward and live in the now as the past has gone and cannot be changed.
The only thing that really matters is what we do in each current moment.
This practice helps me to live only in the present and prevents me from dwelling on past events.
This has helped me to stop worrying about things.
I can’t worry about what is happening now as it is happening; worrying about the present is impossible as once you start worrying about a current moment, it has vanished.
Worry is practised in relation to things that have happened and things that haven’t yet happened.
If you commit to living in the present only, worrisome thoughts cannot harm you.
Think about this carefully as this was one of the pivotal life changing realisations for me that helped lift me out of the depressive quagmire in which I was stuck, wading day after day, year after year in what felt like lead wellington boots.
Ruminating over thoughts is not possible if you commit to living only in the present moment.
This does not mean that I am reckless and adopt a ‘devil may care attitude’ about my future behaviour or plans.
Quite the opposite.
I aim to give 100% to each moment that I live. I don’t worry about what my grand purpose is in life as my purpose is whatever I need or want to do in each moment.
I try to ensure that my actions do not intentionally hurt others or hinder deliberately my current or future self.
We don’t need impressive plans to give us a sense of purpose.
What we need is to live in the present moment and do something that our future selves will thank us for.
If you need or want to lose a few pounds before your holiday in June, start working out in January.
You are living in the moment by exercising, thereby improving both your mental and physical health from January to June and beyond.
You will have developed a new habit and possibly even a new way of life.
Our current or future selves will never thank us for binge drinking, arguing with others, eating unhealthily or holding grudges.
If you adapt your perspective you will improve your mental health and attract the right people for you, embark upon new experiences and ultimately achieve a more purposeful and meaningful life.
Sticking rigidly to your beliefs and perspective can lead to a very unhappy existence.
Flexibility of mind is key.
Flexibility will build resilience and make you realise that being right is not always the most important thing in life, and in fact, it should make you realise that sometimes you are wrong about things too.
Download my free e-book guide, Mindset7 for a week of motivational tips to balance your outlook on life.