How I Stopped Myself From Being Claustrophobic

And the 3 steps I took to get it under control

I boarded the plane. It was a budget airline with the least amount of legroom you could ever imagine. My husband was sitting next to me by the window, and I had a middle seat. I hadn’t been able to get an aisle seat, but I kept telling myself that I’d be okay.

The feeling of panic overwhelmed me. I tried to distract myself, but soon it welled up once again. One moment I’d convince myself that I’d be able to sit there for the 2 ½ hour flight. The next moment I’d realize that I could never manage.

The flight attendants had closed the doors of the plane. They had already given the safety briefing. Suddenly the panic welled up once again, but this time the dam burst. I had to get out of my seat NOW.

I told the man sitting next to me in the aisle seat I had to get out. I clambered over him and ran up the aisle toward the front of the plane. The flight attendants were now in hot pursuit.

We’d been traveling with two friends, and I knew that one of them had an aisle seat. I found them and knelt down sobbing on the floor next to my friend, begging her for her seat. She had her own phobia and needed an aisle seat as well. So it wasn’t a given that she would surrender it to me.

When she saw the state I was in, she immediately offered me her seat and went to the back of the plane to take mine. As I sat down and buckled myself in, I felt the panic subsiding. I took a few deep breaths and wiped my tears.

My panic was now turning into deep embarrassment as all eyes on the plane were now on “crazy woman.” If they only knew that I was a corporate executive who regularly flew on airplanes. My secretary knew to always book me an aisle seat. Otherwise, I wouldn’t travel.

I had never been claustrophobic before the age of 40. But after being laid off from my corporate job, it started. I wouldn’t say that it dominated my life, but it became a factor in everything I did. I always had to plan. I’d think about situations where claustrophobia might raise its ugly head.

I was DOING my claustrophobia.

I was training to become a hypnotherapist. My mentor asked me if I had any problems that he might help me with, so I mentioned my claustrophobia. I thought he would hypnotize me and make it magically disappear. But he asked me a question that I hadn’t expected.

He said, “If I took over the job of being Mary Beth for the day, tell me how I would DO your claustrophobia.”

I thought, “What is he talking about?” I don’t DO my claustrophobia. It happens to me. It’s something that overcomes me in certain situations and is totally out of my control.

He wasn’t having any of it, though. So he asked me again, “Let’s say that you had an upcoming flight. If I were being you for the day, walk me through your thought process. What would go on in your head?”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. Then I told him I would make sure I reserved an aisle seat when I booked my flight. He asked me what would happen if I couldn’t get one, and I said that I’d choose another airline or fly on a different day.

When he asked how I’d feel, I said that I’d be worried. I could even panic already at the thought of not being able to get that aisle seat.

He replied, “Let me get this straight so that I can do a good job of being Mary Beth. You are not even on the plane yet. It is still 3 weeks before your flight. And already NOW you are worrying and panic about getting an aisle seat?”

The AHA moment

Oh, my God! The realization hit me. It wasn’t the plane’s enclosed space or being trapped in the middle or window seat that was the problem. I wasn’t even on the plane yet. I was panicking 3 weeks ahead of time at the mere THOUGHT of not being able to get an aisle seat.

He was right. I was DOING my claustrophobia. It wasn’t happening to me; I was creating it with my thinking.

I could now see how it all played out in my mind. Even if I’d booked an aisle seat, I would be concerned until I actually held that boarding pass in my hand. After all, the airline could change the plane, or there might be other reasons for changing my seat.

On my way to the airport, I’d rehearse the sob story that I’d tell the check-in staff if they tried to put me in another seat. (Those were the days before online check-in.)

And when I boarded the plane, I’d be worried that someone might have taken my aisle seat by mistake. Or the airline’s computer might have double-booked the seat. What if there was a mix-up and my aisle seat was already occupied?

I could see that I was DOING my claustrophobia the whole time leading up to the flight. I was worrying and panicking for days, even weeks before I got on the plane.

Take-aways and Conclusion

Develop a new understanding

Once I realized I was in control of this, I also understood that I could STOP doing it. I was creating problems with my thinking.

Once you see something different, you can’t go back and see it the way you did before. I now understood how I was creating this problem for myself. Armed with that understanding, I had all the power necessary to put an end to it.

Use a pattern interrupt

I realized I would be perfectly safe in a middle or aisle seat. I wasn’t trapped. If I needed to get out, I could do so. I just had to stop my crazy thinking from going to those dark places. When I had any claustrophobic thoughts, I would interrupt them by saying, “STOP.”

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know that the feeling of panic rises. Then it gets worse and worse, and eventually, it passes a point of no return. It is a downward spiral, and once you go down that slippery slope too far, it’s harder to bring yourself back up.

So the idea is to stop yourself from spiraling out of control. At the first sign of any panicky thoughts, try to catch them and stop what you’re thinking.

Create a distraction

On the plane, I would try to distract myself by doing something. I’d immerse myself in a book, listen to a podcast, or prepare for an upcoming training program. Whenever I felt my thoughts drifting back to the old thinking, I would quickly re-focus on the task at hand. It was all about keeping my thoughts on something other than my claustrophobia.

I didn’t cure myself overnight. It took a while to work through it and establish a new behavioral habit and thought pattern. But it can be done. Invest the time to understand, interrupt and distract your thinking.