How I Slow Down When Life Feels Out of Control

3 ways to regain your sense of order.

In a perfect world, no one with bipolar disorder (or any other chronic illness) would have to work.

Actually, I guess, in an ideal world, no one would have a chronic illness, but that’s another topic.

Most of the year, I can manage my schedule and keep my mental illness under control. During tax season, though, my whole life swirls in chaos. Overnight, I switch from working four 8-hour days per week to five or six 10-hour days or more.

For those 12 weeks each year, I have to change everything, and I’m sometimes unsuccessful.

Besides my day job as a tax preparer, I create lots of online content for my Speaking Bipolar blog, Medium, and NewsBreak. In an average month, it takes an average of 18 hours per week to write, edit, format, and post the content.

When tax season takes over my life, I have less time available, but everything still needs to get done without compromising my mental health.

How do I do it? Here are three things that help.

“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.”

— Deepak Chopra

Control What You Can

The first step is to control the things you can.

With back-to-back appointments and walk-in clients streaming through the door, my office looked a lot like the chaos in my head. On Thursday afternoon, I took an hour to organize things and file what I no longer needed.

My boss seemed confused at my taking valuable time for what appeared to be an unnecessary activity, but it helped recenter my mind. Knowing that my office was organized, that the only files I had were ones I needed, and that I knew where every file was, brought peace to the winds swirling in my head.

I also stick to my routines, eating my meals at regular times and taking my meds at the same time each day. When you can keep one horse corralled, it’s easier to keep the others in line. It’s the same with a bipolar mind.

The more you can keep consistent, the better you can cope with the chaos.

Say No More Often

I hate to say it, but my friends and family take the hardest hit during tax season.

The only way to keep my energy reserves as full as possible is to say no to most social activities. I don’t go to parties, rarely go out to eat, and politely decline most dinner invites.

While I would love to spend time with my friends, pushing myself to be with them when I’m already exhausted only makes things worse.

My true friends understand that I’m a ghost for most of tax season.

Say no when you need to rest or just need some time alone. Protect your mental health.

Your real friends will also understand.

Plan Something Fun for the Future

The last thing I do is to put a goal on the calendar to look forward to.

While tax day is a wonderful relief once it gets here, it’s not a great motivator. Instead, I try to plan a trip or special outing for shortly after the tax season ends. The reward becomes my goal and the thing to get me out of bed every day.

I also countdown the days to tax day.

In a fitness magazine years ago, I read an article where the writer suggested your brain processes counting differently when going up or going down. The recommendation was to start with your goal, let’s say 10, and then count backward.

I don’t know if there’s any scientific backing, but it helps.

Where I may have struggled to reach a rep count while counting forward, I always met the goal while counting backwards. Now, I apply the same logic to every stressful situation. As I write this, there are 49 days until the end of tax season.

Every morning, I drop the number one more and tell myself, “I can do anything for X number of days.”

Try it and see what you can do.

Make the Best of What You Have

We don’t have the luxury of living in a perfect world, so we have to manage working while battling our other illnesses.

If you learn to control what you can, say no when needed, and focus on an end goal, it will be easier to make it through the toughest times. Your success with your mental health always depends on how you manage it.

When you make smart decisions, everything is easier to handle. Now, let’s get back to work.

How do you keep going through the stressful times in your life? Please share your recommendations in the comments.

Grab Your Journal

Use these writing prompts to help you think deeper about managing the tough times.

Journal Prompt: What positive steps can you take to help you manage the tough times? How can you use the suggestions above to improve your life?

Creative Writing Prompt: Imagine a world where everyone knows the date and time of their death as soon as they are born. How would the knowledge affect people? What would a typical day be like in that world?

Until next time, keep fighting.