How I Saved Myself
Life has its obstacles. Life has its eruptions. Life with its tantrums. Life with its query. Its tough living life, so stay strong.
Everyone has different perspectives toward life. Some are living the picture perfect life and some are living hell on earth. Days may go by ordinarily without any flaws or days may feel like years when you wonder and wonder without any sense of direction.
Often times, many have strayed so inextricably off-track in a single period when…..
- At the depths of desolation
You are alone. The flickering light in the hallway of darkness. There is no burrow for you. No one there for you to seek comfort in. No one FEELS how you feel. You then dig deeper for self-protection. You wander further for self-consolation. You become your best light, best companion.
2. Walking through crossroads
You stutter, you doubt. You are lost and directionless. No a single soul who notices you and offer to guide you. None are there to help you decipher. None bothers to understand your problem. You`re left with no clues but a whirlppool of unsolved puzzles. In your predicament, all you can do is trust your instincts and storm forwards, for the only way is to carry on.
3. When you`ve reached an unknown destination
You spiral in trepidation. You seek for recognition. You just want some acknowlegmeent, even if its just the slightest nod of approval. You need an injection for self-esteem and self-confidence. You need a ladder to climb out of the cell you`re locked in and move towards and reach an ultimatum. Left in solitary, you brace your shoulders. You held your heads up high. Let confidence surge through you. Let certainty come by.
4. Assaulted for something mild
You gulp it down, you try to slip onto your mask to induce assurance. Too many questions in society cannot be answered. Too many dreadful events you cannot deny. Crying DOES NOT help. The phrase “just let your tears out, all will be fine soon”? It really only applies to fictions, movies and dramas. Letting your emotions roll free does not always make a better end. Tears could mean so little.. so PATHETIC.
5. Bizzarre dreams
No one to suppress it. No one to hang on to. Its like a non-stop roller coaster ride that leaves you dizzy and puking. Sometimes it can be an invisible hand that pushes with such force that you are left helpless and with fragile limbs on the edge of the cliff. Soon, you learn to become optimistic. You learn to become grateful for the tiny fortunes in the misfortunes. You become better in bottling up your emotions because if the next night would come again, why be so blue?
6. A new morning with the same bed-tied syndrome
You rose to your feet unwillingly. You smile unpleasantly. But you still can’t hide away from reality. You can`t just say “I’m out, so be it.” The only solution is to remain strong. Remain strong for yourself. Stay bold for the better version of yourself.
Everyone is “alone” in a way. Within every soul lives a lone ranger and an in-depth emptiness. So smile a little wider, be a little tougher. Be yourself. Don`t only live for others. Learn to live for yourself. Its okay to be selfish.
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
— Dolly Parton
PART 2
The below written are based on true thoughts and past experiences. The purpose of writing these thoughts is because it is relatable to most people and reading it makes one feel connected and so called “acknowledged”.
1. When you overthink
Those mental fatigue. Those laboured breath. Panic attacks, mood swings, loosing control over your temple. A hollowness so deep that no rescue could seep. Hang in there, its just you scaring yourself. Look at the bright side. The best is yet to come.
2. When you’re feeling insecure
You don’t feel good enough. There seems not a spot in you that at least PASS the average label to stand out and show off to others. You feel so out of place and apprehensive because no one will ever look up to you as a role model. You will never generate jealousy among people who know you and will never be sufficently relatable and persuasive that others compare themselves with. There seems not to be a perfect essence in you. You pace, you break down. You’re afraid to be the loser. Hang in there, for everyone is uniquely perfect.
3. When you need comfort
You need a cuddle. You need someone to soothe you. You feel vulnerable. A lost puppy when sheets of droplets soaks you wet. A lost soul wondering whether help exist. You need a shoulder to lean on. You need sturdy hands to calm your nerves. You need a clown to rebuild your laughter, you need a teacher to teach you the ways of solving life`s issues.
Where is that “someone”?
Buck up girl, for its you against the bolder version of yourself. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Stop sulking and move forward.
4. When you long for compliments
You don’t feel as confident. There’s no one there for approval. Mirror mirror on the wall, what is the next step for me? All you have is the reflection to give you some response. You bite yoiur lip and duck under an invisible cabinet of self-doubt. Your world keeps spinning and issues keep rising. No one there is there to give you a thumbs up. No one is there to soothe your unnecessary negativity. No one CARES enough to be concerned of your entire wellbeing. Not even the mirror is willing to admire your beauty.
Its alright. We don’t always need compliments to thrust forward. Its not always just about ourselves. Compliments may mean the world and the only thing to keep certain individuals going. Some take compliments as their motivation to personal goals and improvements in life. Some see it as a trophy to glamour around others. But is a compliment really that important to us? Its just something without value that others give. Whats more essential is to live life to the fullest and reveal the best version of yourself. This, becomes the most powerful weapon.
5. When you need a listener to hear you out.
You’re rambling again. You being frustrate over the tiniest stuffs in life, hating yourself for being fussy, hating yourself for being so ungrateful. You feel that you should be satisfied with life, more pleasant when hit to the lowest. Don’t fret. You`re not a horrible person. You’re not ranting too much. Don’t be disgusted with yourself. Everyone has to gasp for air at times. Everyone can have ugly moments.
6. When you’re upset for no apparent reason
You know that you’re being unreasonable, stupid and childish. Caring too much hurts. Loving too much stabs. So you learn how to close an eye. You just want to shut out all your emotions to prevent from draining out. To make a better environment. To make you learn how to fake smile and remain calm. After all, its all part of being mature and prioritising important things rather than being too focused on the “little ones”.
7. When you long for that someone and someone alone.
Nothing pleases you except that someone. Everything seems lacking when that someone isn’t around. You feel clingy, cranky and depressed. Something so simple yet toughest to get because life don’t always steer your way.
Its alright to be alone, it makes you more independent. Being alone means you get a clearer look at yourself and brings the better version of yourself out. It’s the time you recharge. The time where you could be as selfish as you want because time is all in your hands.
You there. Stay strong. Its okay to be “ugly”sometimes. Its okay to be clingy. Its okay to be messed up. Its okay to not understand yourself because we will aways be learning about ourselves as time goes by. We improve as we grow, we accept as we age. The world has never been perfect and so does you.
Acceptance and confidence makes us beautiful. So smile as you go. Keep smiling and reading postive quotes because it can be as easy as that to kick-start a new and better day. Days may never been smooth and expereicnes often awful. Don`t lose hope, believe that tomorrow will be a better day. Remember, positivity can come by as long as you allow it. A tinge of joy is a step of courage. The sligtest improvement is POWER to a path of miracles.
“Life changes very quicly in a very positive way, if you let it.” — Lindsey Vonn
“Positivity always wins… always” — Gary Vaynerchuk
“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
—Albert Einstein
“Act s if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
— William James
