How I Recovered From 2-Hours-Sleep-A-Night Insomnia
Set the scene… You’ve been going a few nights with pretty crappy sleep and feeling crabby, tired and desperate for good night's sleep…
It’s not coming, where is it? Why can’t I sleep? Sandra sleeps a dream, what the hell?
I’ve been there, my friend.
Sleep is the ultimate luxury I didn’t realize I had at my disposal until I lost it.
I’d experienced poor sleep for many years. It wasn’t until I had my little girl experienced postpartum depression, that my sleep reached epic lows of 2 hours a night, most nights, for around 7 months.
The good news is that it wasn’t forever.
Now I generally sleep 7 hours a night. If I wake up I fall right back to sleep;if I have the odd bad night's sleep I don’t make it a big deal and the next night is almost always pretty great.
I remember trawling furiously through internet searches looking for answers; the same ones popping up all the time: take a bath, try lavender, getting up and going to another room, sleep masks… The usual.
Though these things certainly help to calm you down in the short-term, the layering of coping mechanisms eventually lose their pizazz; ending up causing more despair than before.
Let’s face it, nobody wants to be doing a 3 hour wind-down routine at the end of each day.
The key to coaxing sleep back into your life is finding the root cause; learning to how to relax, and getting a handle on where your mind runs to (so you can bring it back).
By looking after your all-round wellbeing you can also ensure you feel good; sleep or not.
I’m going to share with you what I came to learn in my own recovery journey, to help you get those much-coveted Zzz’s back into your wonderful life.
We All Wake Up, It’s Not A Big Deal
Whoa whoa whoa, did I just go there?… Yes, I did.
No, I’m not trying to belittle your experience, I know first hand the excruciating, squirmy discomfort of insomnia. How I wish I knew what I know now, so I’m telling you now.
It’s normal to wake up.
We all wake up throughout the night as we go through our sleep cycle, as often as every 90 minutes, so if you actually wake up, remember that you’re not broken, you’re pretty normal.
Actually, if you’re staying awake you just need to work on finding what’s keeping you awake. Sometimes, knowing that waking up is a normal part of your sleep cycle can be enough to reduce some of the sleep anxiety. Avoid using that time to start thinking or worrying.
Where’s Your Root?…
What’s on your mind? Is work stressful? Money worries? Fighting with a friend or partner?
Whether your sleep problem is new, or been hanging around like an unwanted smell for a while, it’s worth looking at anything that could be keeping you awake at night.
For me, my sleep disappeared as I lay awake at night wondering why I was having problems with my family. Having lost both of my parents by the time I was 28 to alcohol, and key members of the remaining family emotionally abandoning me as I navigated motherhood alone; No amount of sleeping pills, sleep masks or lavender was going to shift that cause.
If something is keeping you up at night, work on fixing the root cause to repair sleep, rather than focussing on sleep as the problem — when it’s the effect.
Working on the root could be through starting counseling, finding a way to resolve the issue or putting in place an action plan; and reminding yourself that you can work on these things during the day, not at night.
Don’t Get Up
All of the blogs, articles, and advice I got on insomnia told me not to lie awake; to get up and do something in another room; which I did.
What did that mean? I spent more time awake than I did asleep. My body started to think that this was a time I was supposed to be awake and doing things instead of going to sleep.
What actually worked for me was something called Acceptance And Commitment Therapy when I read a book by Dr Guy Meadows called The Sleep Book. I’d happened upon this book in a charity shop one day and it changed my life.
Instead of getting up, Dr Meadows encourages you to lie with your discomfort and personify it so that it loses that power of fear over you. Even making it a game that you lose if you get up.
Initially, the first few days got worse before they got better, but then I started to sleep and my anxiety was less severe.
Don’t get up.
Get Up, Show Up
Ok, get up in the morning though.
To start sleeping well, it’s really important to get a solid routine of a wake-up time and a bedtime going; irrespective of the amount of sleep you get.
This one is a toughie. If you hardly get any sleep you’re going to be pretty grouchy getting up and the temptation to hit the snooze is real.
I started to treat it like going to battle. I was the hero and the reward was that glorious 7–8-hour sleep; eventually. I’d suck it up and drive forwards, proud.
Our bodies love routine and knowing what is what and when, our circadian rhythm and body clock is part of what helps our bodies to know when to wind down for sleep, and when to release energy for getting up and going.
Pick a wake up time and a bedtime and stick to it.
Give or take half an hour either side and keep a diary of how you’re getting on. Make sure it fits in with your daily life, adjusting it if and when you really feel it’s not working out.
Some people are early risers, some are night owls; don’t force yourself to be one, if the other is where you’re comfortable unless you absolutely have to.
Let’s Get Physical
Help your body get into it’s rhythm by introducing exercise into your daily routine if it isn’t in there already.
If exercise is already a part of your life, it’s worth looking to see if you can improve your sleep by shifting the timing and methods.
There’s a lot of benefit to exercising anyway, so it really should be part of your routine. The endorphins for one will help you feel lighter and brighter, making you feel happier but also giving you a pocket of energy that you wouldn’t otherwise have.
There’s a huge temptation to skip exercise when you feel tired when it could be the secret to your good night's sleep.
Do a short workout first thing in the morning to send signals to your body that it’s time to wake up, setting the circadian rhythm for the day; instead of your body cruising along half asleep, for half the day. That way if it’s the only exercise you do for the day, at least you’ve done something.
If you’re working out later in the day and struggling to sleep, try to aim to get a workout that finished 4-6 hours before sleep time.
Eat Well To Sleep Well
Lack of sleep has a knock-on effect on your appetite and your cravings too. No, it’s no coincidence that you’re hungrier and want to snarf the cookie jar.
Focus on eating to improve your energy and your immunity to make sure that you can live as well as possible in times where sleep is poor; which can affect your immune system.
You don’t need to cut caffeine but certainly think about keeping it in your morning, rather than afternoon routines.
Avoid sugars and processed foods that dehydrate you and cause you blood sugar to spike and crash, leaving you feeling sluggish and irritable. There are also links to a diet high in sugar increasing the likelihood of depression.
Aim for natural foods packed with nutrients to energise your body; foods like banana and oatmeal, turkey, and almonds are well associated with promoting sleep.
Don’t put sleep on a pedestal
It can be really tempting to cancel plans and rest instead. It can also be really easy for this to become such a regular occurrence that your life starts to shrink and revolve around sleep which actually makes the problem worse.
One of the best pieces of advice given to me was from my hypnotherapist, Graham, who told me that to sleep I had to stop putting sleep on a pedestal.
Lack of sleep is tough enough without fuelling the feeling of misery by putting life on hold.
Take control back into your life and live anyway. People that don’t have problems sleeping are quite simply living a life where they don’t think or obsess about sleep.
Skipping out on seeing friends and being a bit of a party pooper is a sure-fire fast track to misery and therefore even less sleep; not to mention resentment.
I found faking it until I made it really helped here.
When I woke up after a bad nights sleep I would tell myself I had a fabulous sleep and get on with the day.
More often than not, I only realized I was tired when I stopped to think about it. By living a full life with plenty of enjoyment, I was more relaxed and being more relaxed led to more sleep.
Bans For The Bedroom
Bans for the bedroom are a must. The bed really should only be for sleep and sex.
In a world where our phones are practically surgically attached; laptops and TVs have snuck into our abodes. It may feel like a stretch to banish them to common areas.
However, you have to think, how much do you really want to sleep?
No argument of deadlines or otherwise is strong enough to counter this.
Sleeping better means more productive days, hands down.
To wind down, it’s so important that the brain isn’t jump-started at night by screens; being fired up to think.
Switch your screens to night mode nice and early and leave the phone outside the bedroom. Night mode switches the screen from blue light to a soft yellow. Blue light simulates daylight, inhibiting the body's production of melatonin, the important hormone helping us to fall and stay asleep.
You can also set curfews on your phone activity to help you stick to not using it through the night. If you have a habit of checking your phone you’re telling your brain it’s time to get up.
Meditate
Meditation is a bit of a buzzword in millennial times; the successful meditate, the influencers meditate, everyone who is anyone meditates…
Struggling to sleep often lies in a mind that’s wandering and worrying. Sleep disorders are often linked to stress.
Meditation is a practice that helps you to take gently the hand of your wandering mind, and bring it back to the present moment.
It’s said that anxiety is living too far in the future and depression too much in the past, so living in the present is where the peace lies.
This is also true for getting to sleep.
Practise guided meditations to get into the swing of it, also using them during the day. This gives you time to practice; even if it’s only for 10 minutes. Introducing them to bedtime helps you to disconnect your thoughts from the day gone by and the day ahead.
Be patient, meditation is a practice, so you will need consistency and time to reap the benefits.
Pick One Or Two
Rather than desperately piling on all of these methods in attempt to make some huge change, you’ll want to take one change to apply at a time and see how you get on.
When you change too many things at once, you’ll not be sure what worked and what didn’t.
Start with one change, use a diary to track the results and add or take away as you go, soon enough you’ll be catching Zzz’s like it’s a joke.
Amanda Jayne is a writer and fitness expert as well as single mummy from pregnancy to Ruby. She loves to write about her experiences and positive findings surrounding her mental and physical wellbeing journey; healing from complex trauma. In hope that it opens up the dialogue surrounding wellbeing and mental health.
