How I Realized I Fell In Love Again.

When I observed these three signs.

'Love is beautiful', yes with the right person they say.

The phrase ’fell in love" is a common term used when there is an emotional attachment to someone resulting in a liking and attraction to the person most commonly in a sexual way.

Most times you see yourself going all out for that person in terms of commitment and care. It's thought your world now begins to revolve around that person.

The wonderful thing about love is that it can come at any place, at any time, and it cuts across race, social status, religion and ethnicity however, it is a mystery as it has not been fully understood yet by psychologists or those who have experienced it at one point or the other in their lives.

This is also because as much as one would love to continue or live forever in that euphoria, it has been observed in many cases to come to an abrupt end and not like the popular fairy tales we do watch in cartoons as in Cinderella or Snow White.

One’s experience most times can go a long way in affecting one’s mental health or even physical health and determine if one would desire to experience the feeling again.

But the memories and experiences it leaves behind are life-changing.

Based on one's emotional level of maturity to handle his or her self most times and not just to lose yourself to another, the 'love feeling' is as though there is a control over your rational thinking.

Well, I have experienced this whole process. I wasn’t really among the fortunate ones who got the love at first straight, Nah! I'd hoped it did work out because I had a purpose in mind towards it.

I mean we had been friends for quite some time and along the line, I got the feeling at first and decided to 'follow my heart’.

I spoke to her about it because the signs I looked forward to when I felt I was going to be in love displayed.

She was sceptical in giving me an answer as she wasn’t sure of her feelings. If I had known she wasn’t certain like me, I would have not gone ahead. She just wanted to give it a try.

Let me share a little of my personal story, lessons learnt along the way. I honestly wanted to be intentional about it. Here are some key signs I look out for:

1. Communication at a personal level:

Like I mentioned earlier, we were close friends and I knew her down to her family, parents and siblings.

Most times, we spoke about academics, plans for the future and we even get to laugh about guys who ask out and how she told them off.

I mean this made me feel safe in assuming that she was into me. Anyone could in my position have thought in like manner.

Honestly, I never saw this as an indication that she could be pointing at me. I saw myself as a friend she could rely on.

But in my quiet time, it would come to hurt me that this girl likes me — so I thought. But when it ended, it was then I realized that it is not all the case that people especially the opposite sex who get close to you is a pointer to love or something emotional.

She just told me when I asked her why we related at that level —

‘ you had a great sense of listening with understanding. I just felt relaxed and relieved sharing my thoughts with you but there wasn’t an emotional attachment from my end. You are more like a big brother to me. — she said.

Hmmm! I was friend-zoned. I honestly died off emotionally that day and for a long time.

I was not willing to connect anymore at an emotional level even when someone shares something personal with me, I limited discussions to a professional level no matter how friendly they became.

Perhaps, if I had known I would have longed confirmed or asked about this and would have not waited till I saw my heart given in.

2. Always looking forward to seeing her:

One fact remains for those who find love — they will always want to be with each other.

This was exactly how I felt each time we spoke and it was like I always looked forward to the next meet.

I enjoyed her presence and I felt she did too. Well, it appeared not to be at an emotional level for her but it was for me.

3. Deeply Willing to help beyond usual:

Generally, I easily lend a helping hand anytime I can to anyone in need. But I realized that when love came in, I would always want to go an extra mile for her.

Of course, she didn’t ask for it most of the time. It was just me identifying her challenges on my own and proffering solutions as best as I could. I mean that what one does when he or she is in love is mind-boggling.

The fact we decide to move mountains and go the extra mile for those we profess to love more than even our close family members is unexplainable.

This is easy at the beginning but becomes a burden when this is not reciprocated.

So many times I felt down this way and didn’t enjoy it any more when it seems the sacrifices we make most times isn’t reciprocated.

Then I decided that until I see my efforts are being responded to, in a like manner especially with a tint of emotional attachment, there is no giving in anymore in Letting my emotions be swayed.

I came to understand that love should be reciprocal in all areas of life, with no exemption.

However, this didn’t stop me from assisting and lending a helping hand but as before, when it came to the opposite sex. I began to take a professional approach.

Life Lessons Here,

For a while now, I haven’t been seeing myself wanting to attempt the journey for now but yet again I have meant quite a several female folks and I tend to see these ‘signs’ again.

In an attempt to stop the ghost of the past hurting me, I have chosen to apply the lessons learnt before taking a final decision on the matter of love. I still very much want to be intentional about it.

A takeaway from my past that I see is useful to my present and future is that no matter where and how you find love, ensure it is reciprocal.

Let there be a mutual feeling, thought and concession to that effect from both parties. It shouldn’t be something one is afraid to talk about.

This is your life and your mind and emotions are very delicate. These signs are all coming to me again now and I honestly do lookout for this “does she feel the same way?".

I want to open my heart again, but with caution.