How I Quit Drinking

What Worked For Me

Hi guys. It’s me again. So, before you read any further I have to warn you. This article is not for the faint of heart. I will be sharing some disturbingly graphic details about a very sensitive time in my life as a full-blown, far-from-functioning alcoholic, and how I managed to make it out alive.

While reading this, please keep in mind that I am fully aware that we are all different. Hell is hell. It doesn’t matter how you got there, what you did while you were there, or how you got out (if, in fact, you were able to make it out). God bless those who haven’t yet.

This is simply my personal account of what I went through and what I had to do to escape my own version of hell. My hope is that maybe someone reading this can relate, and understand that it may take some doing, but life after death is not only a possibility, it’s a beautiful thing.

I am 53 years old. If I were to say that I’m lucky to be alive, I’d be lying. Luck has nothing to do with it. I have lived a crazy life, that’s true. I have made it through some very intense situations, but not by luck. By never giving up. By having good powers of observation and a sense of awareness, I have always found a way to survive. I worked really hard to stay alive this long. My journey is far from over.

For the sake of time and significance, I will keep my focus strictly on my battle with alcoholism. The details of how I got as bad as I did are irrelevant at this point.

In 2005, my alcohol consumption reached a level of just under 1.75 liters a day. Yes, a day. I got paid every Friday. I was partial to the sour mesh. I would go to the store after work and buy five, sometimes six, 1.75 liter bottles of whiskey. By the next Friday, they would be gone, and I did not share my whiskey. I did that every Friday for ten years.

I quit drinking in 2015. Those ten years were the worst years of my life. I never slept. I would stay up all night trying to drink myself to sleep but it never happened. Sleep came in the form of mini-blackouts. I never ate much, that would interfere with my drinking. I didn’t drink enough water.

I’m a journeyman carpenter by trade. I would go to work and vomit until I was able to hold down enough whiskey to stop. I couldn’t carry on a conversation without having enough alcohol in my system to do so. I shook so badly that people thought I was doing it purpose. I would show up to band practice either too drunk to play or not drunk enough.

I lost count of how many times I ended up in the hospital with acute alcohol poisoning. I had friends that I thought of as heavy drinkers. They didn’t like me coming around, and thought that I was out of control. They used me as a reference point to measure how bad of an alcoholic a person was.

I was not a violent drunk, or even an obnoxious one. People just didn’t like being around me because of the sheer volume of whiskey that I consumed on a daily basis. My health started to fail. My kidneys to this day are shot, but somehow still functioning. I was borderline diabetic. I was overweight.

There is a lot that I’m leaving out, but you get the picture. I did not want to be like that anymore. I would call people in tears and begging for help. I knew that I was very close to death and unless I quit drinking, it would not be long before it was too late.

A Few Suggestions For Quitting Drinking. This Is What Worked For Me.

1. Gradually force yourself into a new routine

During the week, I forced myself to drink water during the day and eat a hot dog at lunch. Then when I got home, I would only drink whiskey until 9:00 pm. I would lie in bed with really bad anxiety attacks. Those attacks would last until the next day after work when I would drink again until 9:00 pm. I repeated that process for months until it became the norm. After time, the anxiety faded and I was able to sleep.

2. Make an effort to keep moving

The weekends and days with no work were the hardest. It took all my strength and willpower to get off the couch without pouring a glass of whiskey to kill the anxiety and walk around outside. Just pulling a weed seemed an impossible task. Slowly but surely, I was able to stay outside on my own accord a little longer each time.

3. Take time to reset with no distractions

I avoided people. I didn’t answer my phone. I quit the band. If someone came over, I just wouldn’t answer the door. I did this for months. The solitude was necessary for me to sort things out.

4. Don’t quit cold turkey, it could kill you

I started drinking wine instead of whiskey, and less frequently.

5. Adjust your diet

I started eating better and going on walks. I also started drinking more water.

6. Do the things that make you happy, drop the things that don’t

I started playing my guitar again, but my days of playing live were over. Instead I focused on writing and recording.

7. Do not attempt socializing until you are ready

I eased back into talking with people again until I was comfortable enough to actually answer my phone and have in-person interactions again.

A Better Man, A Better Life

I am without a doubt the heaviest drinker I have ever met. Those that know me will agree 100%. I will never forget the day I was watching a movie with one of my closest friends when he pointed at the counter and said, “Dude, check it out. Is that that same bottle?” I looked up and sure enough. I had one bottle of whiskey that had been sitting on my counter for about two weeks, untouched. It still had the same amount in it as it did two weeks prior.

I stood up, walked over, grabbed the bottle, and offered my friend a drink. He shook his head no, and I poured the rest down the sink. We stared at each other in total disbelief for about 3 seconds. I sat back down with a big old smile on my face and said, “Wow bro, I guess I’m done.”

That was the best I had felt in ten long years. That was almost nine years ago now. With the exception of being diagnosed with one of the rarest chronic diseases ever (totally unrelated), I am in the best shape of my life.

Alcoholism is by far the most horrific thing I have ever experienced. I will never ever go through that again. I do not miss one second of it. We all have our own way of doing things. How I quit drinking is the only way I could have done it. It was hands down the hardest thing I have ever done.

So, am I lucky to be alive? Heck no I’m not! I work hard to stay on top of the grass every day of my life, no matter what. As I mentioned previously, luck has nothing to do with it. The fact that I can do it proves that there is hope for all that struggle with the destruction that alcohol can cause.

Life is absolutely beautiful, and you know what? I am the happiest I have ever been. I really hope this has inspired somebody who might be going through the same thing.

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