About The Power of Associations — Or How To Change My Name Panic?

So you have a bad experience eating nuts, and then you become anxious to even see them. Same applies to me and my name

Here’s the deal, I panic when someone calls me by my formal name. I wonder whether anyone else can relate to what I am saying?

Before going deeper, I have to break the news to you. My actual name is not Lucy.

It’s not too different from Lucy, term-wise, but it makes a big difference for me. ‘Lucy’ came to life when I started travelling and it happened to be an alternative I actually could relate to and like, as well as, it’s just been much easier using than my formal name.

My ‘real’ name is not a bad name if you were wondering. I know the stories of having a name that is not lucky, easy to pronounce and so others make it into something else. Or that refers to something terrific to dreadful in another language. I can relate to your pain, but that’s not my story.

The story of my name starts somewhere in 1990 in Slovakia when I was given a name that:

1. comes from Latin and means to be a ‘light’ or ‘full of light’, but
2. sounds too formal even that it has this great association to it,
3. is easy to mispronounce as there are many variations of it in other languages,
4. so you end up hearing about others with the same name that does not sound like yours upon making an introduction,
5. if you want to soften it, you need to change it to a nickname, ending up with a lot of nicknames out of which you may like a few,
6. I have a really weird association with it. Weird as it creates an uneasiness when I hear it.,
7. pronounces as ‘Lucia.’

It doesn’t seem that difficult, but it is. The way people say this ranges from ‘Lutshia’, ‘Lutsia’, ‘Luucsia’, ‘Luccsia’, to ‘Luccia’ and ‘Lucia’.

The last time I panicked was today.

When my former colleague, otherwise, he wouldn’t know, messaged me using ‘Lucia’. (Despite the fact I previously told him not to use it, but that’s another story.) And here’s how it usually goes. I see the name — I don’t have to hear it, it’s enough to see it on the screen to strain my eyes — and freeze.

The problem is in the association…

I guess it mostly comes down to this. What I associated this name with.

There’s an incredible power our associations have to how we feel about a certain subject.

Imagine you had a bad experience with spinach as a child. You didn’t like it and didn’t want to eat it but your parents felt otherwise. Knowing it’s good for you they’d force you to eat spinach. So, you’d end up associating spinach with this terrible experience of being forced to something you don’t want and that doesn’t taste good. Does it sound familiar? It does for me, because I’ve had the bad spinach (+ eggs) experience as a child thanks to my primary school teacher who was worried I’d die of hunger.

Now, back to names.

I used to be called ‘Lucka’ as a sweet form of my name by parents and friends throughout childhood (which signifies that even they found ‘Lucia’ too formal for a child), with a slight exception of people who didn’t know this. I chose Lucy when I started travelling across Europe because not everyone grasped ‘Lucia’ or any of the nicknames I had well and apparently, Lucy became an easy option.

‘Lucia’ was only used when:

a.) Making a formal introduction

b.) At school — called by a teacher, during an exam or when I didn’t do well

c.) Somebody didn’t like me — and used it a lot!

d.) I did something (quite) wrong

So, when this name is used for formal reasons or otherwise, it feels strange, unpleasant, and somehow alien.

Strange and unpleasant because of the associations above. And alien because I am not used to it daily. Due to all this, it easily throws me off guard. It’s like seeing a spider when you least expect it and don’t like them. You can’t foresee it coming and then, the spider is there and you’re all over the place because you have to deal with it!

Thanks to psychology, I know what happens in my brain.

More specifically, in my subconscious mind when I hear this name. My brain starts panicking because it thinks of either of 4 options above (a, b, c, d) and starts overflowing me with the feelings from the past as a memory of what I experienced as an association to this name and didn’t like. And even that I know none of this is happening now on the conscious level, it leaves me with a confusion. Like, I feel bad about something that didn’t even happen!

What is my ‘escape route’ then?

Until today, there was none. I just had a bad experience and then allowed some time to start feeling good again. But, thanks to this occurrence today and some brainstorming after,

I realized that I never fully accepted ‘Lucia’ as my real name and a part of me which it is.

And as that is not good, I am going to do something about it and change the way I see my name forever. To win this battle with my subconscious mind, metaphorically speaking. And change this ‘limiting belief’ about my name to make my mind understand that to be called ‘Lucia’ can feel great instead.

Talking about limiting beliefs, do you know what it is?

Belief is an acknowledgement that something exists or is true without proof. Limiting belief is such a belief that constrains us somehow. Because of believing it, we have negative associations to certain things and actions which usually relate to ourselves. And it can prevent us from doing, trying, thinking, or saying things.

Such as using your name because you believe it means something bad.

How exactly am I going to change this one?

I am going to create a new association.

As none of those above are helpful. Maybe apart from a.) but that itself won’t be enough to fight my subconscious and change my existing belief. Maybe I mentioned it somewhere else than my intro, but anyway, I am a Transformation Coach.

Which probably makes you doubt my job immediately, but that’s how life usually goes. There’s no stop to our evolution, no end to discovering ourselves, that what has to change and non-stop transformation. Often whether we’re open to it or not.

And one of the things a Transformation Coach does is to support a conscious process of making the subconscious changes.

Sounds complicated? What it means is to do something like this.

If you don’t like something (such as your name), then we’d work on changing your association to it. Just like threading a new pattern. And creating a new connection. Starting from:

1. thinking of all the things which are not unpleasant about it. (such as the meaning of my name which is deep and inspiring.) Then,
2. remembering any good memories and experiences associated with the name or any success stories connected it. (such as it was given to me with the best intention to start with)

This is to make it more personal and to start accepting it for what it is.

I can also use visualization techniques and Art Therapy tools to support this process by either;

3. visualizing the name in connection to its meaning, and so for instance; imagining a golden light shining upon it to it becoming completely surrounded by this golden light and then the light coming through it. Or,

4. writing the name down in my best writing, using the colours I like, and saying the name out loud using a peaceful tone of voice. Or,

5. drawing the name as a part of sacred geometry or a mandala, surrounding it by nice geometric shapes with beautiful colours, making it an art piece!

That should help to get more accustomed to it and to even start registering and appreciating its beauty.

The rest follows intuitively.

As I am summarizing this, I am becoming more and more conscious of how unreasonable it’s been for me to dislike my name just because I had ‘some’ bad experiences back in childhood, not my present, related to it.

Unfortunately, that’s how most of our limiting beliefs are.

Now, as I’ve taken you through this personal cavalry of analyzing and reflecting upon my name deeply, I want to first thank you for being a part of it and staying with me till the end. As I’ve written all my thoughts and insights down, I am slowly noticing there are surely things to like about ‘Lucia’. I just need to take more time to explore them all.

And then as learning for both of us …

… maybe you also noticed that a journey to changing one limiting belief, such as dis-liking your name, doesn’t have to be that difficult.

I prompt you to try this for yourself. Removing one of your limitations. And let me know how you’re getting on.

Have a great day! I mean it. Make the most of it. ❤

This Is What I Do when I am not changing beliefs or writing. Feel free to Connect With Me to have a personal conversation.

Or Read More: