How I Overcame My Severe Depression?

My personal story which brought me epiphany

Disclaimer: This story truly reflects the author’s beliefs. The views expressed here are personal and do not intend to offend or disrespect any faith or belief system. We should respect every religion.

What is depression?

According to the American Psychiatric Association, depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think, and how you act. Depression causes feelings of sadness and a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function at work and at home. Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:

Feeling sad or having a depressed mood

Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

Loss of energy or increased fatigue

Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing, handwringing) or slowed movements or speech (these actions must be severe enough to be observable by others)

Feeling worthless or guilty

Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions

Thoughts of death or suicide.

It is the biggest cause of suicides in America and all around the world.

An Epiphany Helpig Me Overcome My Depression

Most of us have experienced depression at some point in our lives, and I was no exception. I faced a severe bout of depression in my early twenties.

I am a born Muslim, and from childhood, we are taught that Allah is our Creator. It is obligatory for us to bow down to Him five times a day, saying our prayers when the Azaan is called. However, I found myself very careless, more interested in this worldly life, and least interested in religion.

I lived a very luxurious and modern life. Many years passed, I completed my studies, and then I got married to a nice husband with good in-laws, giving me no reason to worry.

With the passing of a few months in my married life, I began feeling that something was missing despite having everything a girl could wish for. I felt hollow inside, often sad without reason.

I started having panic attacks, feeling as though something was stuck in my throat, making it hard to breathe.

I consulted a doctor, fearing I had a throat tumor. After a detailed examination, he assured me there was no medical issue; I was suffering from depression.

He prescribed me some medicines, and I felt relieved for a short time. However, my symptoms returned even more severe after a while. The most terrifying aspect was that I initially had no problems, but my condition was worsening. I just wanted to end my life.

One day I was just sitting and crying. Meanwhile, the Azaan call started from a nearby mosque. It was a call:

Allahuu Akbar Allahuu Akbar Allahuu Akbar Allahuu Akbar Aashhadu Allaa ilaaha Illal-Laah Aashhadu Allaa ilaaha Illal-Laah Aashhadu Aanna Muhammadar rasulul-lah Aashhadu Aanna Muhammadar rasulul-lah Haiya ‘Alas-salah Haiya ‘Alas-salah Haiya ‘Alal-falah Haiya ‘Alal-falah Aasaalaatu Khaayrum Minan-Nauum. Aasaalaatu Khaayrum Minan-Nauum. Allahuu Akbar Allahuu Akbar Laa ilaaha Illal-Laah

Here’s the translation of these holy words into English.

‘ALLAH is Most Great. ALLAH is Most Great. ALLAH is Most Great. ALLAH is Most Great. I testify that there is no god except ALLAH. I testify that there is no god except ALLAH. I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of ALLAH. I testify that Muhammad is the Messenger of ALLAH. Come to prayer. Come to prayer. Come to success. Come to success. Prayer is better than sleep. Prayer is better than sleep. ALLAH is Most Great. ALLAH is Most Great. There is no god except ALLAH.’

I think I had never listened to Azan so deeply before. It had a soothing effect on my soul as if someone had just sprinkled water over burning coals. I stopped crying, got up, performed ablution, and offered my prayer (Salah).

As I prayed, tears streamed down my face, and I pleaded with God to grant me peace of heart and soul, something that had been missing in my life. After crying in front of my God for a long time, I felt better; my heart felt much lighter and relaxed. I then offered my second prayer, and I realized that this was what had been missing in my life.

God was missing in my life; my soul was screaming to bow down to its Creator. The hollowness of my soul started to fill in as I got closer to my God. I began to perform my prayers regularly and started to study the Quran.

My depression seemed like it was never there, and I am thankful to my Lord for that. He led me to the path of enlightenment, saved me, and granted me peace of heart and soul.

Sometimes, it is a wake-up call from God to bring His servants closer to Him, as He loves His creation even more than a mother does her child.

Believe me, when you feel depressed, empty, and hollow, go to your Lord, cry in front of Him, and ask for His help; it will pacify your heart like nothing else can ever do. These ups and downs come in life by God’s Will to bring His servants closer to Him, and this is His mercy indeed.