How I Managed To Get Back Up After Catastrophizing Ruined My Entire Week

Dancing Elephants Book Project: Health and Wellness. Group 1

Last week, I thought the world was going to end. Not because of an alien invasion or god forbid an act of war. No, all this was happening in my head.

It was on account of my tendency to catastrophize.

Here is an excerpt from an article published in Psychology Today that explains what catastrophizing is: “Everyone has negative thoughts. But for many people, negative thinking can spin out of control and out of proportion to the reality of a situation. A relatively modest error, disappointment, or source of embarrassment (or even the possibility of one) can sometimes become, in one’s mind, a cause for major fear or despair — in short, a catastrophe.”

Classic storm in a teacup situation, in my case.

Over the last few years, I have been doing a lot of work to change my mindset. I make use of different strategies from my emotional toolbox to pull myself back whenever I sense the afterburners of my overthinking kicking in. Left unchecked, they have this annoying tendency to aim straight for the stratosphere where the possibilities of the dreaded what-ifs spell perpetual doom.

However, last week threw me for a loop. Making a mistake on some important paperwork sent me spiraling down a path I hadn’t ventured down in a long time.

During that time, all self-love, compassion, and positive affirmations that I had made a daily staple went flying out the window as I beat myself up with “How could you be so stupid?”

That’s not even half of it. Yes, I was immensely disappointed in myself but worse, what dismayed me, even more, is that despite all the work I had done to break old behavioral patterns, they were just lurking around the corner waiting to be summoned with but a snap of a finger.

It took me a few days to get out of it but I did and I am glad because catastrophizing can put a serious dampener on one’s mental and emotional wellbeing.

How did I do it?

By leaning on my friends, and family and by retraining my thinking.

Perhaps what helped me back up were the words my 84-year-old father gently spoke to me — “Yana, you have done so much on your own — why let an honest mistake bring you down like so?”

Yes, I am an independent, responsible, intelligent adult who is otherwise capable of making good decisions but sometimes, I get so caught up in how I perceive things that I find myself going into a full-out catastrophizing mode which has sometimes led to me making even bigger mistakes.

Things I do when I sense the negative thoughts starting to spiral (in no particular order):

1. I firmly tell myself to STOP going down the route of thinking negative thoughts.

2. I take several deep breaths to calm down. Sometimes I do 5 finger breathing which I’ve found to be very helpful.

3. I switch out the “what if’s” for the “what is.”

4. I ask myself: “What would you say to a dear friend in this same exact situation?”

I’d tell her that mistakes happen — after all, we are all human. Don’t beat yourself up my friend, instead, look at how far you’ve come and all that you’ve been able to accomplish thus far.

5. Journaling helps me catch all the chaotic thoughts in my head and put them down on paper.

6. Pivot: I shift my thoughts from a negative mental window to a more positive one by banking happy thoughts

Sometimes these strategies may not be enough to break the negative thought patterns and in those situations, I reach out to a trusted friend or family member and that usually helps.

Referenced links:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QVqMaWrP-s

https://consciousshiftcommunity.com/the-art-of-pivoting/

Thank you Dancing Elephant Press Editors Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles and Sharing Randomly