Humor
How I Make $99k Per Month, While Only Working Four Hours Per Week
It’s a lot easier than you might think
“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.” — Tim Ferriss.
As a highly successful person, I’m willing to have uncomfortable conversations. I also love talking to fellow businessmen about raising prices so we can buy new cars and go on vacation to The Bahamas.
With a little bit of hard work and perseverance, you can be like me. Because over the past few years, I’ve created an income stream that earns me $99k per month while only working four hours per week.
Here‘s how I did it:
I Made A Lot Of Stupid Mistakes
Everyone knows that you should never invest more than you’re willing to lose. But thanks to my tolerance for high-risk investments, I was ready to lose absolutely everything. That’s why I invested a few million dollars when Bitcoin was $68,000. Oops.
Sure, I lost a lot of my net worth. But like many people on Twitter, I genuinely believed Bitcoin was going to $100k. So, can you blame me for losing millions of dollars? Nope.
A few days after my adventures in cryptocurrency, I received an email from a nice man informing me that I was the recipient of a $10 million inheritance. So, I did what anyone would do: I sent him all of my bank information. I also agreed to give him a small commission of $50k for helping me to receive such a large sum of money.
In the grand scheme of things, $50k seemed fair. But after a while, I realized the money would never arrive. Despite my high level of intelligence, I had been scammed. So, I picked up the phone and worked some magic.
I Asked Daddy For An Allowance To Sustain My Lifestyle
We mutually agreed on monthly payments of $99,000 per month to be deposited directly into my bank account. Given the rising cost of living in California, we believed that was reasonable.
The only caveat was that I had to follow in the footsteps of Tim Ferriss by having a 4-hour workweek that’s highly productive. And since I outsource absolutely everything, I’m a walking, talking, productivity machine with great profit margins.
So, as a reward for all of my hard work, I purchased a Tesla Model S Plaid last week for myself. It has a top speed of 200 mph and goes from zero to sixty in less than two seconds. Oh, and it also has a range of 396 miles, so I can drive from my eight-bedroom mansion to my yacht (and back) with ease.
I make over $99k per month by having my father deposit money directly into my bank account. Of course, making a large amount of money might seem difficult. But I’ve done it. Which means you can, too.
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Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered financial or legal advice.