Humor
How I Make $50k Per Month Online
It’s really easy to make money on the internet
As a highly successful person with millions of YouTube subscribers, I know how to get rich quick.
When I upload a new video to my channel, I often receive several hundred thousand views in less than a day. I also collaborate with some of the biggest companies in the world on sponsorships and product placements.
But lately, I’ve been getting tired of the clickbait on social media about how influencers make money. People claim that we don’t have a real job and that we also don’t know what it’s like to live “in the real world.”
Let me tell you something…
I’m the perfect person to educate the masses because I’m rich AF. I make five figures per month and frequently hang out with billionaires on yachts in the Caribbean. So without further delay, here are several ways I make money online as a social media influencer:
I Promote Pump & Dump Schemes
Since lots of other social media influencers do it, I’m not the only person who takes advantage of my large following.
Some people might call me a sellout. However, I prefer to use the term “cashing in” on my followers to make more money.
The process of making money from pump and dump schemes is pretty simple:
- Purchase a stock or cryptocurrency at a low price. It helps if it has a small market cap as that allows me to influence the price without much effort.
- Get my followers to purchase the stock/cryptocurrency, so the price skyrockets. Often, it’ll go up 5–10x in less than a week.
- Since I invest a minimum of $5k into each asset, I can easily make upwards of $25k upon selling.
To put things into simple terms, the stock pumps, and then I dump my shares after making a lot of money.
Easy peasy.
I Use Sneaky Tricks To Get My Tax Bill To Zero
Most people pay taxes on their income. But since I own a business, I’m special. Instead, I pay taxes on my corporate profits. And by classifying everything in my extravagant lifestyle as a “business expense,” I can bring my profits down to zero — and legally pay no tax.
I recently purchased a helicopter for $2 million. I use it to fly from one billionaire’s yacht to another. And since I include my helicopter in the background of my YouTube vlogs, it’s a business expense that allows me to receive a $2 million discount on my taxes from the IRS.
Yay.
I Film New Content For 24 Hours Per Day
Now, you’re probably wondering how the heck I film new content during every moment of the day. The answer is simple: I hire a cameraman to follow me around and capture everything I do.
For example, I’ll discuss ways to poop quicker while sitting on the toilet. I’ll also talk about the importance of owning a helicopter to avoid traffic while flying over New York City. If something saves time, it’s always worth it.
My YouTube channel is focused on the idea of becoming a highly efficient person. And obviously, I’m a walking, talking, productivity machine because all of the footage gets used in my vlogs in one way or another.
The above strategies enable me to make six figures per month as a social media influencer. So, if you want to be like me, steal the above strategies for your own life. Because once you implement them, your life will never be the same.
Want to be notified whenever I publish a new article? Click here.
Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered financial, investing, or legal advice.