Self-Love | Self-Confidence | Self-Awareness | Love Yourself | Just Be You

How I Learned To Love My Mom Bod

My story, and advice on how to love the body we’re given.

I did a thing today that I never imagined I would do. Before I tell you about it, let me give you a little background about myself.

I’m a wife, a mom, an employee and a writer. I exercise a few times a week and I’m overall healthy, but guess what? I have a mom bod. Yup! I have thick thighs, sagging breasts and a pudgy tummy with stretch marks that look like fire. Oh, I’ve also had a few surgeries, so toss a few scars into the mix. Cellulite? You betcha.

I hated my body. Really, really hated it. I was that woman wearing baggy, oversized clothes all summer long just to hide these imperfections. It got to the point where social media gave me anxiety when I would see these sexy models showing off in the latest athletic gear. I hated the prospect of shopping, because I would fall in love with a look, just to see it on me and hate it.

It wasn’t healthy. Over the past few months, I started working on myself. No, I didn’t change my diet or my gym routine, because by all accounts, I was doing things right. Here is what I started doing:

Daily affirmations

There are a lot of stories and articles out there about the power of daily affirmations. I’m not going to rehash them, or bore you with the science behind them. If you are interested, I encourage you to do some reading. This is about what I did with the information I learned.

I would write down one thing in the morning that I liked about myself. It was random. Whatever popped into my head in the morning, I jotted it down in a notebook. I did the same at bedtime. This act alone started to have a positive effect. Here are some of the affirmations in my notebook (I still do this daily.)

You are a loving mother

I’m proud of how hard you are working

You have a contagious smile (I do)

Your tits look great today!

Your parents love and appreciate you

These are just a few samples of the things I have written.

Mirror work

I made it a point to look at myself in the mirror, naked, every day. Why would I want to do that? Because my vision of myself was tainted by social pressures and unrealistic expectations. The first few times I did this, I was disgusted. Really. My eyes always focused on the problem areas until I forced myself to think about it another way. Here is what I did.

I thought about my body differently. Each time, when I saw a problem area, I thought for a moment about what I’ve been through and what I’ve done. My stretch marks? I birthed children! I literally grew humans inside of me and pushed them out my hoo-ha. It’s remarkable. Those marks are not eyesores and they certainly aren’t disgusting. They represent accomplishments. Accomplishments that not everyone is able to experience and not everyone will. Once I started looking at them differently, I began to not mind them so much, and now, I even like them.

Now, my sagging breasts. I’m a mature woman. I’ve been around and I’ve seen a thing or two. It’s natural. Do I wish they were still perky? Of course. But they aren’t. They are weathered, just as I am. I could pay a lot of money and have them fixed, sure. But why would I want to do that? I’ve a very natural woman which I plan to describe in another post. I want my body to reflect that. So, saggy boobs? I love them! I mean, they are still soft and bouncy, so what’s not to love?

Through this exercise, I began to look at my body as being real. I forced myself to do this, and it took time. This was not an overnight change. It took weeks and months to realize that my body is mine, and it tells a story. I’ll never look like a cover model.

It wasn’t easy either. There were and are still days when I don’t like what I see. I move past them though and take the time to do the next step in my process.

Showing off

This was by far the most difficult step. It’s the one that made me the most vulnerable and I don’t like feeling vulnerable. My entire life has been a struggle to feel in control over the things that I can control, such as finances, the company I keep and even relationships and sex. Letting people see the real me was nearly impossible at the beginning.

I started small. I went through my clothes, and I found a form fitting shirt. Without looking at myself in the mirror, I wore it to the grocery store. When I got back, I checked myself out in the mirror. My belly was on full display and my boobs were, well, my normal saggy boobs. Guess what happened when I was at the store? If you guessed nothing, you guessed right. No one looked at me with disgust. No one scoffed at my choice of clothing. People saw me and went about their lives. I did it again and again.

The hardest step was wearing leggings and a shirt that didn’t cover my rear end. I felt very much under the microscope, but again, nothing. Ok, that’s a lie. A few people did notice. Men. Men, noticed, and in the good way. What was happening? I was being checked out by men at the grocery store. Do you have any idea what that did for my confidence? Here’s the funny part. The more confident I became, the more people paid me the right kind of attention. I felt like I was gifted a superpower.

I’m going to share a secret with you all…confidence is sexy. Confidence is an aphrodisiac. Slowly, I was gaining it.

So, I teased something at the top of the article, right? So, what did I do today? I bought a crop top. Yup, little ole me bought a crop top and I’m going to rock the shit out of it. Cover model? Nope. Confident, real woman? Yup. Do I give a crap what people think? Hells no.

It’s liberating. Truly. I feel like I’m no longer held captive by my own inhibitions and fear of being vulnerable.

I hope this article helps even one woman out there feel confident in their own natural body. If that happens, sharing this will have been worth it.

Please share your reactions in the comments as well as any other tips or tricks you have to feel good about YOU the way you are.

Kisses and hugs!

~Veronica