How I Learned To “Be Myself” As An Adult
A life lesson I discovered while making YouTube videos.
When I was a teenager, I was recording a YouTube video with my friends in the park. Let me paint you a picture: this was in 2010, the era of Smosh, PewDiePie, and smaller cliques of YouTubers that everyone knew. I got it in my head that I was going to be a YouTuber too, so I took my camera everywhere.
I’m recording this video — a vlog. I set up the camera, hit record, and start talking… But my friend stays silent.
“What am I supposed to say?” he asks. “What do I do?”
My loud and outgoing friend was suddenly camera shy. Flabbergasted, I tell him, “Just be yourself.”
He responds, “I don’t know how to be myself.”
Those words, that little moment of honesty, stuck with me for a long time. When I was editing the video, I couldn’t put my finger on why it seemed so important.
My Experience
Fast forward. Everything is different. We carry around mini computers that can answer questions in seconds. There are countless YouTube channels with goldmines of information. And yet, it’s harder than ever to pay attention.
As I got older, my hobbies started dropping off one by one. I used to vlog, play instruments, draw, knit, you name it. Now, I was lucky if I could finish a book in a month. That’s when my friend’s words came back to me…
“I don’t know how to be myself.”
Hell Yes
Recently I heard the words of Tim Ferris, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.” And I thought… What projects would be a hell yes for me?
- Being able to draw well
- Getting a book published
- Learning more about photography
After that, I dropped learning a non-essential language because it was no longer a hell yes. It was taking a good chunk of my free time, but even the end goal only made me feel mildly interested.
I now refer to these as lukewarm aspirations.
Lukewarm Aspirations
A lukewarm aspiration can be anything you’re doing in your free time that isn’t serving you. In a way, it’s similar to Marie Kondo’s method of picking something up and, if it doesn’t bring you joy, tossing it.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do I really want to learn this?
Is the end goal important to me?
Will this be something that brings me joy?
Where to Start
When you’ve found things that excite you, only take on one or two at first. It’s important to make this a decision — a vow that this is where your free time is going. And rather than aiming for perfection, aim for joy and consistency. Even if it’s 15 minutes a day.
Using this method, the enjoyment I had for my hobbies came back because I was trying to feel that joy again. I was putting in effort. I was saying, hell yes I want to do this! Both in thought and action.
Project Tracking
I currently use TickTick to keep track of projects. This helps me realize when I’m falling out of something and need to re-assess my priorities. It’s also great for tracking progress over time.
I make a list for each project such as “Drawing” and “Photography” and then sub-categories called “Next”, “Later”, and “Goals”.
- In Next, I put everything I want to do as soon as possible. I try to keep these tasks small, since I can always put more time toward it if need be.
- The Later category is for things I want to do when I have the time.
- In Goals, I create a goal that’s achievable in the near future, such as “fill up a disposable camera” or “draw every day for a week”. This goal will have sub-tasks that I can check off as I go along.
I find tracking tasks and goals make projects more rewarding and less likely to be forgotten.
Conclusion
We all have something we loved when we were younger. Be it reading, drawing, or making unfunny YouTube videos in the park. It’s possible to rediscover that part of ourselves and find that joy again. Or, remembering the words of my friend, we can “know how” to be ourselves again.
Thanks for reading. SodaKite
