How I Healed Complex PTSD with Maca Root

Processing emotional and psychological trauma is necessary for optimal living

This story briefly mentions suicidal ideation

Photo by Kristen Colada Adams on Unsplash

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) generally starts in childhood but it can also begin in adulthood when one encounters ongoing trauma.

There is a strong relationship between CPTSD and repetitive adverse childhood experiences for instance various types of abuse.

Some symptoms of CPSTD are:

prolonged feelings of terror
worthlessness
helplessness
hypervigilance
distorted sense of self

Repetitive trauma, for instance, the trauma that one gets from repeated abuse makes our limbic system get flooded with stress. The result will be you getting stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode.

Because the traumatic experiences are ongoing for instance abuse is happening constantly, emotional trauma gets physically stored in your body.

You constantly feel on edge and nothing you do seems to help, most aspects of our health are affected.

What causes complex PTSD?

Some causes of complex PTSD are

Ongoing abuse, for example, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
Established neglect or abandonment.
Being held captive
Parentification (children taking the roles of parents)
Living in a civil arrest

Writing is one of the many methods we can use to process and release trauma. When it gets harder, planet Earth’s adaptogenic herbs come in handy

I went through childhood abuse and I encountered it again in the decade of my twenties.

Helplessness for me began as a child, how I know this is because at around 7 years I had thoughts of dying.

Those thoughts stayed with me throughout growing up, until I was 19 years old. They later came back a few months to my 30th birthday.

The two years before turning 30, I was constantly feeling sick but my blood work didn’t show any illness.

However, almost every system of my body had a symptom of unwellness. From digestive system to the nervous system to the cardiovascular system etc.

I also knew that I felt helpless and the abuse I had encountered in my life affected me so much.

When I turned 30, I decided to research ways to heal the symptoms that were manifesting in my body. I also decided to research about abuse.

That’s when I came across the term Complex PTSD as well as many other terminologies and concepts of abuse.

I wanted to begin therapy but I didn’t have insurance and this was back in 2020, at the height of covid 19.

I tried various methods to calm my body mind and soul for instance grounding techniques, nutrition changes, meditation, yoga, tapping, essential oils, etc. They all helped in one way or another.

While still researching I came across an article that stated, that journaling is a good way to process and release trauma from our body. I decided to try it.

How I decided to go about it

I decided to start processing trauma in an order.

From childhood trauma to adulthood trauma events. I began writing in a book with a pen.

I realized writing was helping me process and I started remembering some events that I had forgotten.

Until I got to some traumatic events that were so hard for me to put into writing.

At this point, I knew processing trauma was significant. I also had identified that writing was helping me process. But how could I find the ability to write down the most painful traumatic events?

At that point, I realized I needed medication. I had reached a stage in my research where I knew there was no going back.

There was no way of going back to the times in my life when I didn’t have the language to describe what was “wrong with me”. The times I lived without understanding the impact of abuse on the human body.

Because I had no insurance, I decided to research what are some natural foods or herbs that could act like antidepressants.

I came across a group of herbs called adaptogenic herbs. But unlike pharmaceuticals adaptogenic herbs do not disrupt normal biological functions. They help the body find its stable state.

Examples of adaptogenic herbs

Ashwagandha
Ginseng
Tulsi
Reishi
Rhodiola
Astragalus
Holy basil
Maca root

The above-mentioned are some of planet Earth’s adaptogenic herbs.

They help our bodies in various ways for example:

Support the entire body's ability to cope with stress.
Assist the body in returning to a stable state.

In my case, I began with ashwagandha. I took it for about a week and yes it helped calm my body. It also made me extremely happy.

I would have loved to keep taking it but because I have chronic GERD (heartburn). Ashwagandha would trigger the symptoms of heartburn and I had to quit taking it.

I attempted maca root next. I took two capsules of maca root the first day, that was the recommended dose for a day.

Even on the first day, my body felt different. I was calm. I continued taking it and by the end of week one, I was feeling great. My head was not foggy and my body felt great calmness.

While taking maca root, I was able to resume writing to continue processing and releasing my trauma. This time I was able to write even the most painful ones.

I took maca root that entire year, the 30th year of my life. I was processing and releasing trauma through writing all year long. For some traumatic events, I wrote them more than once.

I would sometimes burn the written pieces of notes and watch them burn slowly. That process was part of healing as well. Other times I sat down and ripped those written pieces into tiny pieces and threw them in the trash can. That also helped.

I felt all the emotions that came with each writing episode. I would not say I was healed by the time I turned 31, but I can say I had done great work at processing and releasing trauma.

So much that, for my 31st I was able to celebrate that birthday my own way.

It was a little celebration by myself, for myself but this was my first birthday celebration in my life and I had a genuine feeling of happiness.

Before this, I had never had any genuine feeling of happiness. I even documented that birthday with a video and it remains one of my best!

I continued to take maca root even as I turned 31. I was still processing trauma that year, remember I said I had to write down some of those experiences more than once?

Yes, healing work can be messy and long. The most painful ones were the traumatic events I encountered as an adult.

I was having difficulty understanding why I had allowed myself to be abused as an adult. I wondered why I allowed myself to be violated and never spoke a word.

I later came to understand I was stuck in a freeze trauma response. Most people who have freeze as a trauma response experienced abuse early on in life.

They are not able to speak up or fight for themselves in adulthood. It was work to get to a point of forgiving myself, for never fighting for me.

I took maca root that whole year as well and I must say before I conclude. Each month from the time I began taking maca root I had 5 days straight in which I would take a break from taking it.

I learned it is necessary to take a break while taking maca to let the body have a chance to stabilize hormones without the influence of maca.

It’s been two years now that I have not been taking maca root. Am 34 now and can live without it.

After processing trauma, I felt a great change in my body. I also learned ways of coping with the stress of life. How to have boundaries and protect myself from toxic people. The best part of it, am no longer helpless and helplessness does not define my life anymore.

Processing trauma from abuse is necessary for us to heal Complex PTSD and also to make our living much easier.

It is hard to do life when carrying trauma stored in our bodies.

Writing is one of the many methods we can use to process and release trauma. When it gets harder, planet Earth’s adaptogenic herbs come in handy.

Am not a doctor, but this is my experience working with adaptogenic herbs. It is always advisable to let your doctor know of all the supplements you are taking.