How I Have Faced My Subconscious Prejudice?

Imagine my state of mind as an immigrant. I grew up for twenty two years in India, got soaked with the ideals that belonged to my parents, my friends in school and then my friends in college. I had a bit of detachment to things from a very young age, as a result of which I accumulated these ideals but never adhered fervently to any of it consciously. But in my subconscious, almost all my autonomous decisions were influenced by these ideals. I read more English novels and watched more English movies than most of the people I knew in my world and as a result I automatically felt that I knew the English culture to a large extent. See, the problem is, my understanding of that culture was below average when compared to the whole, but within my world, it was above par.

So when I moved to the United States, I was confident about my English cultural knowledge, but over the years, I have slowly realized that it is not the case. The eight years after my college have been a slow realization that my knowledge in many fields, including relationship, work, culture or identity were all partial, outdated or false. As a 90’s kid, I did not have internet when I was growing up and hence, the worldly knowledge was limited to what the daily newspaper and television would provide. I would usually read the sports and entertainment section more than anything else.

In recent years, on many aspects, I have had to drop what I knew was true and do some soul searching on what is actually true. This process of unlearning and relearning meant I had to accept the shortcomings of my prior knowledge. Maturity is not about growing older in age, but more about how one can let go of prior beliefs and accept a change in state of mind. This is a highly fear inducing system upgrade we are talking about for the mind.

Fear of the Unknown

If I imagine my mind as a well lighted room with four walls, all my life’s ideals and principles have helped in building those four walls of solid comfort. The fear arises when I have to open that door to search for an alternative to what I already believe in some aspect. The fear is because what is outside the brightly lit room is completely dark from my current doorstep. But that darkness is because I haven’t explored it. If I did explore and found only pits, I would have thrown light on those pits so that I wouldn’t have to fall into it. On the other hand, I might find something better than what I have in my room, as a result of which I get to expand my room of understanding.

But the fear of the unknown has always restrained me and I recently realized that it derives it’s strength from my subconscious. The energy that is driving the lights in my room is powered by my entire life’s subconscious ideals. How do I observe such an ideal, explore alternatives and replace it if needed?

• Recognize the default subconscious ideal

I had an ideal of remaining silent if I did not know a topic or had different view point from what another person is saying. This was a quality of niceness that I carried. I have observed this many times at my work place. I was complacent to allow my silence mean whatever the speaker wanted to imply from it. Some people implied it for wisdom, some felt it was rude. This comes deeply from a subconscious training from my school days to keep silence unless asked for an opinion.

• Simulate an alternative ideal from the subjective view point.

In an alternative world, I would break the silence and provide my view point or question the speaker on what the topic meant. Fear mainly comes because the simulation might predict an unfavorable emotional reaction in these alternative ideal-scenario. But it is necessary to detach from the emotion and just focus on the subjective action of the alternative. The mere exploration of that action would reveal if it has any pitfalls in it.

• Detach from both ideals and observe how the mind feels when it is free to choose

The reason to be detached from the alternative is the same as the reason that is needed to detach from the current state of ideal. To explore freedom of choice. To unlearn and relearn if needed. The moment I am detached from any ideal, I am free to think objectively to come to a conclusion.

Allow the maturity at this point to guide the mind freely in its own time to an open minded ideal.

Meditate on the inquiry so that the subconscious can free its hold on the outdated ideal.

My default is not to be silent when I have a varying view point nowadays. My default is to attend to the reality of the scenario and make a decision then whether to be silent or not.

Sometimes such an optimal ideal might not even exist for some aspects. But just setting forth on such an exploration and overcoming the fear of the unknown from inside the caged mind is a liberating feeling.

Freedom exists when the individual chooses, not from prior belief of the past ideals or other’s opinions.

Freedom exists when a choice is made subjectively through reasoning and inquiry.

Freedom is a lifestyle that allows to respect the rules, to change it when outdated; to face fear with the wonder of curiosity.