How I have created me

A state of confusion with no solutions

Starting this, and leading you on a journey of life would be a difficult task for me because you already jammed your mind with a lot of lies and you are not ready to leave them behind because you love those lies.

A few days back, a thought was jumping inside my head, after watching a video of a girl describing things about her life. How she realised her true-self until then, she was living someone else life?

I was confused and went into the loop of thoughts, like, am I living my life or just imitating someone else?

The answer was simple; I don’t know? Part of me was trying to say, “yes, you are imitating others to some extent”. But how much? My mind refused to tell me that. Now I am still searching the answer.

Let you and me both together try to find out this answer.

So, what do you think, you are an imitator or self-created person?

You must take your time because it’s the most important thing for you to figure out, after all, if you’ll not find an answer, I think you’ll end up wasting your life for nothing.

You may have seen, people with all the answers and you imitated them.

We have a problem of copying others, wherever we notice someone better than us, I don’t know in what context, and how we decide he is better than us, we just want to copy his move, accent, and looks. We are doing this for so long that now some even claim that it’s are an original feature which relates us to animals.

So, what we are doing in our life? Just copying hairstyles of celebs and try to behave like celebs. Copy quotes from the other and trying to convince yourself that these all things you do are original and self-created.

The only thing I currently have is a confused brain, with a lot of questions.

Why am I so confused about my identity?

I was never so confused, but after watching that girl’s video, I am severely in trouble with my mind “at least I can blame her for my troubles”, lol.

So, I tried memorising moments when people explained my identity to me. They described me as follows.

Your face is like your mother, your nose is like your father, and you talk like a “famous guy” that we don’t know, and you walk like somebody else. None of them said you are your original version.

What about you? Did you feel blessed when someone compliments you for your looks and says you look like that particular celeb without makeup, lol, jokes apart?

So, how do you feel when someone just compares you with someone you don’t know and makes a comment on you?

I know that most of us feel blessed when someone compares us with a famous personality. It’s a pleasure of moments.

Then what should I do to find my answer?

I think everything is preplanned.

How should I look? Because whenever I visit barber, he already has a pamphlet of hairstyles from that I have to choose one for me. If I don’t like from booklet, I pick one from the web, sometimes of “Robert Downey jr ” and sometimes someone else.

And whenever I see someone with good stuff and skills, I try to copy them, even though I know that he can claim copyright.

Oh stupid me!

A journey of finding me.

This journey is not so easy because if I try to share anything to anyone about this, people consider me insane.

So, If you’re a warrior, then you must follow, otherwise not, because the path is full of deadly threats.

Sometimes, I try to ask questions from my mom. Even my mom gets irritated and says “don’t ask stupid questions”, or if I extend this beyond her limits, she considers me a fool or scientist.

But still, I don’t have my answers?

I believe people don’t know anything! but they claim they know everything.

If they know everything and have all things in their control, then why there is so much chaos in the world?

Why we discriminate amongst people? Some are pampered, and some are mistreated, depending upon their wealth. Yet we bark about human rights.

Peace is the ultimate goal for all, but I can only see daily disputes increasing.

We all want peace and happiness, yet we are preparing nuclear weapons which can destroy an entire nation in just one blow. Why?

I think we all are confused because we don’t know what we want. Plus we say something else and do something else.

We have, lust, greed, anxiety, depression, conflicts, suicides and many more problems but still, we don’t consider them problems.

I’ve witnessed this, things which we can’t control, we consider them natural.

Why should we take all the blame? Let’s share some with nature.

We kill animals for profit, and sometimes we cross all the limits due to which some species are about to vanish. I had never seen animals hunting humans for Fun.

According to my childhood books, humans are the most sensitive being on this planet in terms of emotions. But now I can see it’s contradictory.

I am so confused!

So, what do you think? I am correct or not?

Let’s leave that and continue our journey.

NOW ME

A social animal?

No, I am not.

A human?

Can be said, if I show animal traits than I am not a human either.

A God?

No chance, because no one destroys his creation until he has some better plans.

Then what is this me?

I was observing a kid from years; he was 3–5 years of age and I’ve seen the following things in him.

He used to laugh whenever he wants, he never cared what people say about him, he was busy playing. I’ve seen him catching butterflies running behind the dogs and jumping into the mud even eating mud sometimes.

Nothing ever hurt him and he doesn’t know fear, I’ve never seen him sad more than 5 mins, never seen him raging in hatred, he just enjoys his life at fullest.

I think that was me. Now, I can see I’ve deceived myself.

I know for some of you it may sound unpractical, but that’s the truth. The moment you kill your childhood, you just destroy everything for yourself.

People who claim themselves, seniors, sometimes are the saddest one.

“Your me” and “my me” is not different! But if you are trying to live someone else life, you will not experience anything in your life.

It will work for you sometime, but not forever.

Do you need to decide what is essential for you?

Is it you or someone else?

I think for me, I am important, and I give priorities to what I feel is right for me.

I know all of us are doing that, but I never did that by hurting others.

If you intend to harm anyone by your words, actions are thoughts. Then I think you are not in the human category at all.

Being human is an ultimate thing, but we must try to think like humans and behave like humans.

I wish you’ll also find meaning in my words.

I am not accepting you to take my advice because I am not here to teach you, I am only sharing thoughts that generally cross my mind.

You can consider me as a “thought writer”.

What do you need to do to find yourself?

I think you don’t have to do anything. Deep down, you know yourself, but you fear your true-self because of that, you always try to cover yourself with lies and fake smiles.

Maybe you like yourself, or perhaps not! I don’t know that, but I guess you must not do it for too long “Just be yourself and do not harm others”.

I usually know people don’t disturb others, but they get interrupted by other’s behaviour.

You must learn the art of ignorance for people who try to disturb your peace and happiness. And stay blessed and stay happy “because nothing is permanent” one day all your problems will leave you alone. Lol.

Stay blessed and stay happy.