How I Found My Fulfilling and Creative Life

You can too! Hope you can find something in my journey to guide yours.

On May 17, 2020, I was ready to submit my last assignment for the English 101- Composition course at 11:30 pm (just in time before the 11:59 pm deadline). My nine-year-old son peered over my shoulder, waiting for me to click the submit button. And soon after, it disappeared into cyberspace, leaving my son happy; and me feeling both — happy and sad!

I shut down my computer, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. After all, it was an “unprecedented” semester: completing a class remotely during this unprecedented time of heath and financial crisis, while 24/7 hunkering down in the house, was certainly no small feat.

And yet, if anything, this course was my savior during this uncharted pandemic time. I could escape reality, even if momentarily, by positively engaging my mind: reading, writing, and learning. I was sad about missing these good aspects.

But still, this time of adversity paved the way for something positive in my life: the confidence and freed-up time allowed me to fulfill my long-held wish — Joining Medium writers’ community!

A new beginning

First, let me share a little backstory on how and why I chose to write on Medium. I stumbled upon this platform in 2019, and since then, it has become one of my loyal literary companions. The stories stimulate me creatively, intellectually, and emotionally; [and] I too hoped to do the same!

That said, I would like to thank the platform, the writers, and my followers for inspiring me to join this community.

Without further ado, this article is a chronicle of my journey towards finding a more fulfilling and creative life. Speaking of which, the community college experience, joining the Medium platform, resetting my career or parenting goals, and other such decisions are all integral parts of this fun ride.

And I hope that my story can provide some insights if you are also on a similar quest.

Ahh… “the elephant in the room”

First things first, we have to take care of our nemesis: Fear, Self-doubt, Inner critic, Censor, and all its other aliases. Why? Because achieving any of our dreams (big or small) requires us to get past our internalized fears. Be it writing an article on Medium, living a fulfilling or a creative life, or accomplishing any of our dreams; unchecked fears can be our biggest enemy.

Obviously, my excitement to share my work encountered stiff resistance from my fear. It tried to do what it always does: Dissuade me!

There was a time, though, when I diligently listened to it. However, the problem with that was my life became dull and resentful, with only accumulating dreams and despair. And so, until and unless I accepted my fears and learned to function despite them, I couldn’t have written this article nor accomplished any of my other dreams.

With that, I came up with the following strategy to co-exist with my fear: Acknowledge it, segregate rational from the irrational ones; analyze rational ones objectively; use positive affirmations as needed; and lastly- take action(even a tiniest little step mattered because it built my confidence — an effective antidote to fear).

To sum up, if we marginalize our dreams to serve our fears, then we are only risking our inner peace and happiness. And I was done doing that!

Now with fear out of our way, we can move on!

The missing piece of my life’s puzzle

“You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

A few years ago, I was fortunate to have a flexible corporate job, a gratifying family life, and a great circle of friends. But there was one problem: contrary to the good life I lived on the outside, my inner sense of self was slowly crumbling. A burning feeling that my life held a higher purpose than merely sustaining a “comfortable” life consumed me. Although I tried to dismiss, reason, or distract this sentiment many times, it never subsided. And with each passing day, the message became loud and clear: “I had to find the missing piece(s) of my life’s puzzle!”

I believe that when we have a nagging feeling in our hearts for long, the universe usually gives us a cue. I found the cue one day while sorting my spouse’s book collection: the book “The Monk who sold his Ferrari” by Robin Sharma. The title piqued my curiosity, and I began reading it.

And as luck would have it, it turned out to be a self-help book, after all!

Rediscovering my life: One book at a time

“Books simply help you to see what is already within yourself. That’s what enlightenment is all about.” — Robin Sharma

Before I get into further discussion on books, I would like to point out that my leisure reading experience until then was the bare minimum. The reason being: I did my schooling in India from a traditional public school. Unlike the U.S schools, leisure reading was neither a part of the curriculum nor advocated. Also, public libraries were a rare sight, unless someone tipped off about the independent ones. Besides, there weren’t any avid readers in my family, nor they understood its value within the academic scope. All these factors, unfortunately, created a reading void early in my life.

Nevertheless, reading the book “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” brought about many “aha” moments; it lit my mind and soul on many levels. This book reinforced my persistent feeling that there was more to me and my life. Above all, it urged me to become a Reader. Luckily, with our town library’s help, I was able to keep up my reading momentum successfully.

Reading led to a domino effect of both books and results: the books invariably pointed to other books that contained answers or leads to emerging questions or interests. For results: apart from knowledge, I gained growing self-awareness, clarity of vision, intellectual approval, modeling from the best minds.

These revelations empowered me to redefine my identity at the root level: Inside-Out! The intent was not just to embrace my authentic self but also to become a better version of myself. Specifically: regulate my thoughts, feelings, and actions under stressful situations; trust my inner voice; stand up for my beliefs; be more empathetic, supportive, and open-minded in relationships and interactions; observe more positivity, gratitude, and so forth.

Ultimately, books galvanized my change at both conscious and subconscious levels. They enabled me to not just recognize and respect my authentic self but also visualize a bigger and better life — beyond the scope of my imagination. And plus, it underscored the fact that my trials were neither unique nor hopeless; and I could seek the solution, advice, or motivation in reading others stories.

Hence, reading was the first piece of the missing puzzle.

Finding creative fulfillment with “Writing”

“The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people’s expectations.” ― Julia Cameron

Not surprisingly, reading transpired into a desire for creative expression of my thoughts and emotions.

Coincidentally, I discovered that creative outlet in the book “The Artist’s Way” by Julia Cameron — a self-help book on creative recovery for the blocked artists. I stumbled upon this book while reading another book.

One of the main creativity tools Cameron advocates in the book is called “Morning pages”: three pages of long-hand stream of consciousness writing about any topic under the sun, done preferably first thing in the morning.

“There is no wrong way to do the pages. You simply keep your hand moving across the page, not pausing,” Cameron states in her book.

This book came to me at the right time, just when I was looking for an outlet to process my emotions. So, I committed to trying Morning pages to experience more creativity, peace of mind, self-confidence, etc. — some of its key benefits, as claimed in the book.

Though initially, it took me some time to get into the groove, I stuck with it consistently enough to turn it into a habit and notice a difference. And regardless of whether I followed the page or the time rules to the T, daily writing brought about significant changes to my life.

First and foremost, I was able to cut through my chaotic and critical mind and bolster my inner wisdom and creative voice. Second, I grasped a deeper understanding of my past and its influence on the present life. Third, I explored my buried hobbies and dreams and looked for ways to revive them.

And thus began the exploration of my “other” side: I enrolled in a few recreational activities to ignite my lost creative spark; To broaden my horizon, I actively connected with people from different backgrounds and cultures; and I invested some time and money in self-care.

The point of exploring the fun, creative and gregarious parts of my life was that it offered me a fresh outlook. By stepping out of my comfort zone, I was gradually overcoming my inhibitions in lieu of a little confidence at a time. Together, they offered me the freedom and a new perspective to look forward to in the future.

In short, regular writing expanded my self-awareness, strengthened my self-confidence, launched my creative mobility, and nudged me to follow my heart. Additionally, expressing anxious feelings on paper made it possible to see both mine and others’ actions or opinions more objectively and even compassionately.

Hence, Writing was the second piece of my life’s missing puzzle.

Language, Literature, and Writing

There was a natural progression from Reading and Writing: a growing appreciation for the English language, Literature, and the Art of writing.

Compared to other creative streams, writing captivated me the most. Mainly because, with writing — I could creatively express; educate, inspire, and bond with others; and also reap its personal benefits from anywhere, anyplace, and anytime. In the same way as I connected with other authors and benefited by reading their works. These attributes made me its fan.

This led me pursue my interest in English Literature and Writing formally. In 2018, I decided signed up for a few English classes at a community college. The flexibility of doing part-time courses and an opportunity to interact with the professors and students attracted me towards taking this route.

As an English Second Language (ESL) student, these classes have undoubtedly bumped up my writing confidence. Furthermore, I have been enjoying other perks, like book referrals, and new friendships.

I would say Medium discovery in 2019 has been an icing on the cake, as I was also on a lookout for a platform to share my work with a larger audience.

Final thoughts…

Without a doubt, Reading and Writing were the quickest and inexpensive ways for me to achieve a more fulfilling, creative, and holistic life. They defined, strengthened and enhanced my identity. Although it is a life-long journey, I am happy and grateful for the opportunities and the progress I have made thus far. I can say that I am in a better place today than when I started — Physically, Emotionally, Socially, and Spiritually. And each day I try to live a life closer to my heart.

I genuinely believe that our lives have a beginning, middle, and end. Sure, in the beginning, we have little liberty to define our lives, but down the line, we can take that liberty back.

We just need to heed our feelings; understand ourselves better; trust our inner wisdom; be a little open-minded about possibilities; and develop the courage to follow our hearts.

It is no secret that our lives are fragile, and the recent turn of events is a testimony to that. Going through an entire life without realizing our life’s potential can end in only one way: Brokenhearted.

[And] My sincere hope is that none of us have to go that way!