How I Find Hope, Even in The Darkest of Times

Dancing Elephants Book Project Positivity — Group 2

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.” — Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban.

Life amidst A War

A war has just begun between Russia and Ukraine.

For a couple of years now, the world has been reeling from the effects of the pandemic. And just as things were beginning to settle down and the world was looking forward to a spring of hope, came yet another war with plans to disrupt world peace.

I don’t want to go into the political aspect of the war. But do you know, who suffers the most during a war? The civilians. The people who played no part in the decision game.

This is a difficult time for so many people.

There are thousands of people who suddenly became immigrants, and are taking refuge in neighboring countries, every single day. I hear from my friends. their friends or their neighbors, about stories of people with young, scared, hungry children, trying to flee Ukraine.

A negative experience like this at such a young age, can leave a scar in their little minds permanently and change their lives forever. The life of an immigrant is full of challenges, with absolutely no fault of their own. It creates another war — a life full of battles of survival.

It can make you or break you. How do I know that?

Because my father was an immigrant too.

The Untold Story of My Family

My father was born on June 1, 1945, just a few months before World War II came to an end. The entire world was busy and obsessed with the victory of the allies, definitely for a reason.

But most of you were, perhaps, oblivious to what was happening at another corner of the world — India fighting against British imperialism.

That was a devastating war too. Many lives were sacrificed. Many families perished. In August of 1947, India finally got freedom, but at a terrible cost — India was divided, based on religious grounds, into India and Pakistan.

The Muslims went to Pakistan and the Hindus went to India. What an incredible way to divide a country!

My father was just two when he became an immigrant in his own country because the part where he was living fell into (then) East Pakistan, which is now called Bangladesh.

My widowed grandmother (who was not even twenty at that time) along with her three children aged three and a half, two, and one, and her widowed sister-in-law had to migrate to India.

There was no preparation whatsoever — no selling of house or land, no money to be transferred, no security, no hope, not even any hope of surviving. Only the fortunate people survived.

They just packed a few basic things to survive the journey and had to flee.

Mind you, that was an extremely challenging journey. Many trains leaving India towards Pakistan or the other way round were set on fire and people, including children, were burnt alive.

The houses and streets were set on fire, people (of the other religion) were hunted from their hiding and killed. Such was the hatred, such was the rage.

My father’s family somehow, maybe by God’s grace, survived this and managed to land in India alive. The Government initially gave them a temporary place to live. I have no idea what sort of place they lived in, how they earned any money, how they survived their entire childhood.

All I know is, for my grandmother, my father, and his two siblings —from living in a house with acres of land (perhaps for farming), they were suddenly on the street.

Poverty hit them hard.

They had no life to live, it was a struggle for mere existence. Surviving each day was a miracle in itself.

But despite all these, one thing that they never lost is hope and a miraculously positive attitude towards life — the perfect place for the Persian adage: “This too shall pass”.

My father and his two siblings had to walk miles to get to a school (this is absolutely not exaggerated) in rain or shine. My father loved maths and he used to teach maths to students way above his grade just to support his family.

My aunt, who survived multiple rape attempts, while coming back home from her night school, didn’t stop pursuing her studies despite the challenges.

My father and his siblings did multiple odd jobs in their childhood to just remain afloat and to complete their education.

They had no electricity, running water, a safe space, or even a proper toilet. Food was scarce. Nutrition — well I am not sure if they ever heard that word.

It would have been very easy to get distracted and to be in the wrong company. We know how poverty can create crime and criminals.

But my father, my aunt, and my uncle, who have lost everything — their home, country, including a father — chose the side of positivity.

My father’s love for Math brought him into ship design. He joined the Indian Navy. My uncle joined the Merchant Navy and traveled the world. My aunt joined the Marine Engineering College.

Oh! Did I tell you that my grandmother was illiterate? She just knew how to sign her name, got married by the age of 13, to a man above 40 who died shortly after my uncle was born.

What I Learned in The Process

Positivity Is A Choice

What matters most is, it all depends on how you perceive life. If you are glass half full or half empty type — that makes a significant difference.

If you have ever read about the Holocaust survivors, you would know how a dose of positivity can bring in hope and change your life completely.

Holocaust survivor and psychologist, Edith Eger jots down memories of her life in the concentration camps in this article:

“In Auschwitz, when hopelessness overwhelmed me, I’d think of what my mother had told me in the dark, crowded cattle care on our way to prison: We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Just remember, no one can take away what you’ve put in your mind.”

Positivity Helps You Dream

I think my love for travel originated from my uncle who brought gifts from different countries and shared stories about his experiences in those faraway magical places. I dreamed that I would, too, one day see the world.

Although I didn’t have to live a life full of poverty, misery, or agony, and it was a comparatively comfortable life compared to my father’s, the dreams of traveling the world was too far-fetched for a little girl belonging to a middle-class family living in India, especially if you compare the depreciated value of the Indian currency.

My dreams didn’t merely remain dreams — later in life, I had the opportunity to live on three continents and four countries and travel to almost 20 countries.

Positivity Can Make Radical Differences

I suspect my father might also have been autistic. I may be right or wrong, but I have no way of finding that anymore. I shudder to think how difficult his life must have been.

But despite all these challenges, by the time I was born, we were already living a comfortable life and I never had to experience any discomfort. I never knew what living in poverty meant. I went to a private English-medium school.

Today, while writing this story it dawned on me (and it actually gave me goosebumps), that my story would have been a different one altogether had my father had a different outlook on life.

In the face of adversity, he had two options: to accept the destiny and quit; or to fight back and challenge fate. He chose the second one.

I wouldn’t be writing from the comfort of my house in the Netherlands, sitting on a Danish couch, enjoying worldly comforts, and wondering how to help the immigrants from Ukraine, had he chosen the other path.

Life comes full circle.

My Final Thoughts

Deep down, I felt proud of my father and my family, and I knew that hard work pays off. But to be able to dream a little and work hard to achieve your dream, what you really need is optimism.

Every time I feel low, I think of the challenges my father faced and then I realize optimism wins.

A positive outlook helps you find hope and hope is what gets you going, even in the darkest of times. Just remember to turn on the light.

My heartfelt thanks go to the editors: Lady Dr. Gabriella Korosi, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, and Sharing Randomly for showing this positive outlook towards the inception of this book idea, believing in me and the other writers, and for making this book project possible.

References:

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Prisoner_of_Azkaban
2. J.K. Rowling — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._K._Rowling
3. “I Survived The Holocaust. Here’s How To Hold Onto Hope Through Anything” — https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2020/09/10025665/holocaust-survivor-coronavirus-edith-eger
4. Holocaust survivor and psychologist Edith Eger — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edith_Eger
5. Persian adage: “This too shall pass” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass

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