How I Deal With Seasonal Depression During a Pandemic

Summary

Nia Simone McLeod describes her personal strategies for coping with seasonal depression, exacerbated by the pandemic, through sunlight exposure, light therapy, and seeking joy in small daily moments.

Abstract

Nia Simone McLeod, a writer from Richmond, Virginia, shares her experiences with seasonal depression during a particularly challenging year, complicated by the COVID-19 pandemic. She emphasizes the importance of sunlight, describing a morning routine where she bathes in sunlight near a neighborhood pond to feel energized. McLeod acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining this routine during cloudy days, which she likens to the eerie atmosphere of Silent Hill, leading to feelings of purposelessness and apathy. These feelings are compounded by the broader context of political turmoil, racial injustice, and social isolation. To cope, she plans to use a light therapy lamp to simulate sunlight and actively seeks out joy in everyday activities, such as drinking chamomile tea or connecting with friends through FaceTime. McLeod views these moments of joy as powerful and necessary to sustain her until the return of sunnier days, which she remains hopeful for.

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McLeod values the energ

Deep within the darkest season of a chaotic year, this is how I’ve been coping

Bathing in sunlight is an integral part of my routine. In the morning, I take a short walk to a pond near my neighborhood. Then, I stand in direct sunlight and close my eyes. It feels like a hug.

I soon feel a transfer of energy. When I open my eyes, I’m energized. I’m ready to take on what the day will bring.

I don’t thank the sun — even though I know I should. I figure I’ll show my gratitude the next day when this transfer plays out once more. Until it doesn’t.

What Do I Do When the Clouds Come?

Walking outside on a cloudy day turns my neighborhood into Silent Hill. My mind is as hazy as my surroundings. I feel purposeless.

This persisting apathy arrives around the same time each year — late-fall to mid-winter. This year, the pandemic strengthens it. The mix of political turmoil, racial injustice, and social isolation does a number on me.

I wake up every morning and barrage myself with questions: When will the end come? Will this event affect me for the rest of my life? If so, for better or for worse? Is it worth it to rely on other people? Should I just focus on taking care of myself? Can I focus on taking care of myself?

What Does Coping Mean to Me?

I’m going to buy myself a light therapy lamp. Its product description states that the light “mimics a bright sunny day.” I doubt it, but it’s worth a try.

I try to piece together moments of joy during my day.

It’s my strongest line of defense against my seasonal depression.

Whether it’s a hot cup of chamomile tea or a FaceTime call from a friend, I capture the joy of these moments like a firefly. I affirm their effect on me. I seek them out — especially when I’m feeling low.

I try to stay aware of the joy these things bring me. No matter how fleeting the feeling may be, it is powerful.

These moments of joy will help me stay present until the sunshine comes back. And, I know it will come back. I just have to hang in there a little while longer.

Nia Simone McLeod is a writer, content creator, and pop culture enthusiast from Richmond, Virginia. Follow her on Twitter, Tumblr, or Instagram for more dope digital content. She runs a weekly newsletter focused on inspiring creators of color.