How I Conquered Caring Too Much About Others’ Opinions

My Journey to Self-Validation

Socially, at times it might be healthy to care about what others think if we have or want closeness with them or if there was some form of a relationship, but otherwise, it’s unhealthy.

This is a personal development that I have cruised through and conquered. While I was growing up, especially during my teenage days, I was always timid, thinking and worrying if others liked me. Other’s opinions about myself were more important to me than what I thought about myself, which made me realize that it was driving me to have an inferiority complex and low self-esteem.

While I was at the university with my group of friends, there was an argument about a specific question asked by a lecturer. I kept mute during the argument because others, whom I felt were better than me, had already given out their opinions. The next day in class, I found out my answer was correct after the lecturer answered it. At that moment, the realization kicked in that I didn’t believe in myself and regretted not giving out my opinion while I was with my group of friends. From that day, I promised myself to confidently share my opinion whenever I have one.

Human beings are judgmental most times; they can’t help it. They will have their perceptions of you, so it then depends on you whether to let it affect your life or not.

People who care too much about what others think about them usually have an inferiority complex and low self-esteem, and this can affect whatever future or career you have planned for yourself.

Not only does it affect your career but also your inside life activities. In the sense of when you become a parent, how do you teach your kids to be confident in themselves and believe in their choices? This is a serious one, and believe me, it is personal development you would want to work on.

You see yourself as not good enough always, and you seek change according to others’ opinions, regardless of who it may be. To care about what others think might be out of the love you have for them, but it becomes dysfunctional if you start to care too much about what others think.

Here are some signs to assess if we have actually become dysfunctional with caring about what others think:

1. Letting others make decisions that you should have made.
2. Apologizing constantly even in the face of no wrongdoing.
3. You don’t maintain limits of any sort.
4. You only get satisfaction from the approval of others.
5. You rarely get to say ‘no.’
6. Keep your opinions to yourself, especially when theirs differ from yours.

Here are also some tips you can carry out and manage diligently to soothe this dysfunction for self-development, which is very crucial:

1. Have control over your emotions by practicing some mindfulness techniques like meditation or breathing exercises.
2. Nobody is perfect. You are prone to making mistakes; accept them and move on.
3. Value yourself and build your self-confidence.
4. Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
5. Ask questions and don’t make assumptions; you are probably wrong.

It is believed that we usually judge ourselves more than the ways we think others do, which makes you your worst critic. Try to place yourself in a good light.

Being accepting of others can help you let go of what others think about you, so try to hold your judgment of others.

In conclusion, remember that you are always judging yourself harder than anyone else, and constructive criticism at times can be useful and worth the listening time, but there’s usually no productive use for listening and worrying about what others think of you.