How to change your life

Manifest the life you want

Change your life for the better

There is this misconception that ‘everything happens in divine timing.’

According to some, our lives are completely out of our hands. Our destinies are written long before we’re born. Then there’s the ones that firmly stand by the belief that indeed, we are fully responsible for our reality.

It can be confusing to know where we stand in life, especially since no school teaches us such sacred knowledge.

But what if, for whatever reason, you’ve reached a point where you simply cannot bear your current circumstances anymore? Do you stand around and wait for a miracle?

I remember clearly the day when my ex-husband threatened to kill me. (Don’t worry, I’m ok. Happily divorced and now helping those who are yet to see the silver line.)

Luckily, most people out there are not in such a hurry for a dramatic change. I was.

After I managed to get myself out of the funk, I sat down in deep introspection. And in that moment, everything started to unfold. Just like the Lotus growing in the murkiest of muck, once above the water, you see this beauty in all her glory. Petal by petal it unfolds, unraveling its hidden story.

How did I get myself into this situation in the first place? Why did I keep myself so unhappy for so long? Why didn’t I get out of there sooner?

Whatever you’re situation, or whatever the reason behind your longing for a change; I found that after working on these 5 key points I’ll be sharing with you today, my life completely changed. It was like I shifted realities, never ever to return where I was again.

Changing your life — Setting yourself up for success

Whether you are chasing a dream, trying to rebuild your life, or making dramatic changes to it; I believe you must have a vision, an aspiration, or at least a vague idea about what this dream looks like.

Maybe you’re fed up and tired of your old routine, the never-ending chores, or just simply have a strong inner desire to pursue your vision.

Understand that change is a journey. And this journey only takes a millisecond to commence. And it begins right here, right now. In the moment when you make a conscious decision about what it is that you want.

But don’t worry, even if you are not clear about what it is that you want exactly — as long as you know what it is that you don’t want, will do just fine for now.

“Without action, there’s no reaction.”

Many people expect to see results but forget to put the work in. And the results? Well, they are not showing. It is inevitable that at some point along your journey, doubt will kick in and you’ll feel like giving up. When that time comes, you just have to keep repeating this mantra. “Without action, there is no reaction.”

Make it your first goal to fully understand and embody this statement. When it becomes part of your being, you can expect to see incredible changes taking place.

The Foundational Pillars of Change

Every area of our lives is built on a foundation. As I discovered along my journey, some areas of my life were built on very shaky ones. Some didn’t have any.

In my mid-twenties, I met a man who I knew from the beginning, wasn’t right for me. But I ended up marrying him, making a terrible mistake. Today, I share my children with him. Two little human beings who are now facing the consequences of my poor judgment.

Had someone shown me how to build the 5 foundational pillars of life, my entire journey would have been completely different.

Up until my mid-thirties, I always struggled with money problems. The pillars that hold up this area of my life, were non-existent. Coming from a poor family, we experienced a lot of lack. Not exactly a great foundation to build a successful future on.

In order to achieve lasting transformation in any aspect of life, it is essential to establish a strong and sturdy foundation.

Just as if you were building a house, without a good foundation, the whole structure will come crumbling down. Like in my case, one day, everything fell apart.

This foundation relies on five key pillars that serve as its fundamental support. True and successful change can only occur when all five pillars are deeply rooted and integrated within your being, to the point where they shape your identity, and you embody their essence.

Grab a pen and paper and let’s get started.

Your ‘Why’

Your ‘why’ is one of the five foundational pillars that will help you towards the change you are longing for.

Without a strong enough reason, for that matter, a strong why, there is just no way you can conquer what lies ahead of you.

Whether you are shooting for a big goal or trying to make lasting changes to your life, it is a journey that starts on the inside.

It starts with an idea, that sooner or later ignites our emotions.

If your ‘why’ doesn’t excite you, bring out emotions of happiness, joy, fulfillment, living with purpose and gratitude — it is simply not strong enough.

You know your ‘why’ is sturdy when you’re ready to take action. Any action, right here, right now.

Your why should go far beyond the superficial and quick realization of your desires.

What do you get out of this change on a soul level? Not what your ego gets out of it. Think about why you feel called to make this change or follow this dream.

Is it you who want this change or is it your belief and perception of your reality?

Ask yourself — “What will I learn along the way and how will it impact my physical and emotional well-being?”

Will this change fulfill you, and will attaining your desire bring out the best in you? Real and lasting change will never occur if you are only looking for instant gratification.

Once these questions are answered, you can move on to what impact it might have on your outside world.

It is time to take out your pen & paper and write down your ‘why’. Explore it in as much depth as possible.

The more you know about your ‘why’, the stronger the bond is going to be between you and the change that you desire.

“ You are yet to find the path that you have to walk, that will lead you to the mountain you then have to climb. But once you get up there, the view is trully beautiful.”

Your ‘Commitment’

The second pillar of building a strong foundation for your new life is commitment.

Committing to yourself and to your why is vital if you want to see this change through.

Remember that change is a journey. The main part of this journey is laying solid foundations.

Your strong why and commitment to this journey play a vital role in being able to succeed.

No matter what your dream is about or what it is that you are trying to change. Be it your health, financial situation, love life, etc. — you need to commit. Without commitment, things will stay the same.

This commitment starts here. You commit to taking the time and build your foundational pillars.

You commit to doing both the planning, reflecting, and visualizing parts.

You committing to taking the time out from your day to work on this change you want to bring about.

You commit to spending the necessary time each day to fill up your cup.

“I am committed to changing my life.”

Your ‘Awareness’

As I discovered along my journey, the human mind is our biggest asset, and with that, having awareness is the ultimate key to success.

Awareness is knowing, why you want this change.

Awareness is what you need to do to overcome, and how to overcome anything that pops up along your journey towards your new life.

Awareness is the tool that you can come back to when doubt, procrastination, self-sabotage, and victim mentality kick in.

Awareness is knowing the difference between your rational mind projecting something as opposed to your intuition trying to guide you.

Being aware of your negative self-talk, because of what you keep telling yourself, sooner or later, you will start to believe — and belief is a very important part when it comes to turning your dreams into reality.

Your belief is the driving force behind your faith. Your beliefs are the fuel to your emotions. Your emotions are what make your body get into action.

And remember, “Without action, there is no reaction.”

“What is necessary to change a person, is to change his awareness of himself.” (Abraham Maslow)

Becoming aware of being the captain of your ship, your life and your destiny will propel you to take different actions in life. The majority of us however are not fully aware that we hold the answer to all our problems.

When you allow yourself to become fully aware, you expand your consciousness exponentially. You understand that God (or whatever you believe in), your soul, your parents, lovers, kids, or anyone for that matter, have no control over you.

When you step into your power, you realize that you control every aspect of your life — and every decision you make or don’t make leads to consequences. The consequences you have to live with.

But the decisions you make largely depend on your awareness. With limited awareness, you are likely to make decisions that limit you.

When you truly get to know yourself, only then you will understand that success starts with awareness.

Your ‘Vision’

Now that you have your why, and you are ready to commit, as well as knowing that you have to be willing to expand your awareness in order to reach your desired goal, it’s time to create a vision.

You probably already have a good idea about this dream of yours, the aspiration and change you want to bring about. Especially, if you religiously worked on your why.

As we think in pictures, creating a detailed vision won’t be hard. It is time to take out your notepad again and start brainstorming.

It is very important that you put a lot of effort into your vision and get it as close to what you really want it to be.

Have you ever heard the saying, ‘You reap what you sow.’? The effort and detail you put into your vision now, the clarity you gain from it, the emotions it brings out in you — is taking you closer and closer to your new desired reality.

The moment you took the decision to read this article, your change had already commenced. The energy behind your wishes, ideas, and thoughts about your new life has already started to alter your reality.

You are no longer the same person you were 5 minutes ago. And you no longer can go back to the person you were 5 minutes ago.

Your life can change rapidly. With each sentence you read, with every new information you take in and digest, you are becoming more and more aware that you are the only one who can make your dreams come true.

“I can show you the path, I can illuminate it for you, but I can’t walk it for you. Only you can. Your life, your call.“

Build this pillar strong and sturdy, so that it can withstand the test of time — your battle with your negative self-talk, other peoples’ BS, and many other social and environmental conditionings. Just to name a few…

This vision has to be strong enough to fuel your emotions. Just like your why brings out the emotions that will drive and move your body into action, your clear vision has to do the same.

And action is very much required, because, remember? “Without action, there is no reaction.”

Every time there’s a little hiccup in your plan, maybe a difficult day, long sleepless nights from overthinking, tiredness from overworking — you have to remember why you started on this journey and where are you heading.

The clearer your vision for your new life is, the easier you’ll navigate through the choppy waters.

Your vision will activate a part of your mind that is responsible for aligning things for you to be able to materialize your dreams. As your awareness expands, so are your possibilities and your decision-making will become more effortless.

Your body will move into action, but not any action — you will start to take inspired action.

You will stop questioning yourself whether you made the right choice or wrong decision.

You’ll soon learn the difference between procrastination and productive procrastination.

Your life will change dramatically as you conserve your precious life force energy for things that do matter.

You’ll slowly get used to your new way of being and living, You will learn to follow your inner compass.

As your vision becomes crystal clear, your intention, why, and commitment will strengthen. As you build these foundational pillars of change — your dreams are becoming more and more like a reality.

Your ‘Self-concept’

“Allow your intuition to guide you on your way and remember, you are not here to walk anyone else’s path, neither anyone can walk yours. The more authentic and true you stay to yourself and your values, the easier the transition will be.”

The final pillar I had to build in order to change my life, was my Self-concept.

As I discovered, this pillar supports all the other foundational pillars. It is therefore crucial that you dedicate some time to it.

Why do you need to build a new self-concept?

Well, you see, as hard as it sounds, in order for anything to change, some parts of you have to change.

Because the brutal truth is that you are solely responsible for your own life. As hard as it can be to accept, you must hear me out.

Your current self-concept is bringing you your current results. If your reality sucks, only you can change it.

Regardless of how you got here, the only thing that matters is that you understand this: “You are the creator of your own reality”.

So, in order to get new results, you have to rebuild some parts of yourself. Build new habits and new thought patterns. Build new values and new boundaries. Learn to listen to your intuition instead of your inner critic. Learn to rein in your senses and become the master of your mind.

Only you can change your life. But

“Whether you think you can or can’t, either way you’re right.” (Henry Ford)

You see, only you can determine your own success and failure. You can sit through your whole life and point fingers at the poor educational system that failed to teach you decent values. Your parents — who themselves could only give you what they had, the lack of awareness you had up until this point — the reality is that none of this matters anymore.

As long as you can make yourself a promise that from now on — you will listen to your own inner guidance, you will expand your awareness, and you will do whatever it takes to reach your goals and desires. This next chapter of your life has to start with you.

Promise yourself that you will only do things that are in alignment with you. That you will build strong boundaries and live by your values. That you will stop people-pleasing behavior because you are scared of losing your fake friends.

Write this next sentence in your notebook and memorize it. You are going to need it a lot as you go through your transformational journey.

“I promise to always be there for me.”

I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. It is time to acknowledge that only you can change your life. This change will take courage, time, and dedication. But the more you commit to it, the better results you will get out of it.

On the road that lies ahead, you have to become your own biggest critic, whilst at the same time you become your own biggest cheerleader.

But before building a new you can commence, it‘s time to ask yourself this question.

“Who am I?”

Right now, who are you really? What are your values? What are your beliefs? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you react to things the way you do? What are your habitual patterns? Are you putting your most authentic self out there, and if not, how often do you put on a mask to fit in?

How many times a day are you dishonest with yourself? How do you convince yourself that something is worse than it truly is? And how do you deceive yourself into believing that something is better than it actually is?

Sit down with yourself and answer these questions with great honesty.

Is this really you or is this version of you just an embodiment of the expectation of others, the conditioning you received during your life, the advice you’ve been given from those who you wouldn’t want to swap lives with?

Are you a prisoner of your own biases?

Getting to know yourself takes time — but you are who you are in your deepest core for a reason.

Nevertheless, it is time to get to know the real you.

What is self-concept?

Self-concept refers to your perception, beliefs, and overall understanding of yourself. It encompasses the thoughts, feelings, and evaluations you hold about your own identity, abilities, characteristics, values, and roles.

Self-concept involves both conscious and subconscious elements and influences various aspects of your life, including your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships.

Your self-concept is shaped by a variety of factors, such as personal experiences, social interactions, cultural influences, and feedback from others. It develops and evolves over time as you gather information about yourself and interpret your experiences.

The components of self-concept can include self-esteem, self-image, self-identity, and self-efficacy.

Self-concept plays a crucial role in shaping your beliefs, motivations, decision-making, and overall well-being. It influences how you perceive and interpret yourself, your capabilities, and your place in the world.

A positive and healthy self-concept can foster confidence, resilience, and a sense of authenticity, while a negative or distorted self-concept can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and psychological challenges.

Self-concept is the way you present yourself to the world. Self-concept is your beliefs and programming that run on autopilot, deep in your subconscious mind.

Your self-concept is what attracts the good and the not-so-good to you. Your self-concept is what allows you to connect to the infinite amount of universal abundance.

It is what creates your karma — The Law of Cause and Effect. More precisely, your self-concept is what allows you to take certain actions. And remember for every action, there is a reaction.

Karma is the result of your actions. Your actions depend on your self-concept. Who do you believe you are? What do you believe you can achieve?

Most people are not aware of the importance of self-concept, yet it is an invisible driving force that makes your world go round.

Knowing who the F* you are at your highest and lowest, what your boundaries and values are in a relationship, business, and in life itself, is an absolute must if you want to succeed in this game we call life.

As your self-concept is a magnet to all the experiences you attract to yourself, it basically means, that your self-concept is what creates your reality.

Your results are a reflection of who you are and the values that you embody. Every action we take can be traced back to the Self. How well you know yourself and how well you built your self-concept.

Your self-concept and values are based on beliefs that you created a long time ago. Most of them before the age of 10.

Based on who you believe you are, you will or will not take action. You will or you will not persevere.

You will or will not know if it is your intuition guiding you or your pessimistic tendencies interfering. As you have already established what dream you are trying to reach, you should be seeing a gap between getting from point A to B.

This gap represents your personal values and the values of the person who has successfully attained their dreams or achieved the change that they desire. This gap represents the path you’ll yet to walk, that will lead you to the mountain you then have to climb.

Looking at your current results with great honesty, what values do you think you need to possess in order to live the reality you are currently daydreaming about?

Describe the person you think you have to become. Remember:

“To see change in your outer world, you must first change your inner world.”

There is simply no other way around it. As your outside world is a reflection of what’s going on inside of you, building a new version of you is a must.

You simply have to reinvent yourself. You have to accept what you thought you knew, perhaps you still have lots to learn about. But most importantly, you have to let go of the image that was portrayed to you by others.

It doesn’t matter how other people view you. The only thing that matters is how you view yourself.

Your outside world will start to change when you start acting like this new version of you. And just to clarify — you don’t fake it until you make it.

Rather, you are becoming the change that brings about whatever successful outcome you desire to achieve.

Once you have a good idea about your new self-concept, write it in your notebook.

Depending on your commitment to your dream, you can build your solid foundational pillars with great clarity and intention within a matter of days.

But what is going to solidify and start bringing you new results is a new behavioral pattern that you apply every time you make a new decision. These decisions however have to be in line with your new values.

You will need to revisit your piece of paper regularly and start forming a habit.

New habits will form as you start to become this new version of yourself. Do your best to act and react using your new values and personality traits.

Becoming the new you starts right now.

You don’t have to wait for a new day, week, month, or year to start.

If your why and vision are strong enough, you can completely transform your inner world in an instant.

Time delay is just a projection of our limiting beliefs. Divine timing is now — it is the moment you make a conscious decision to change and fully dedicate yourself to this change and embody every aspect of it.

Good luck on your journey.

Much love

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