How I Came Out of Denial About Being A Victim of Narcissistic Abuse
I spent years in denial as a way to survive abuse. I was forced to face the truth when my situation became unsurvivable and I fled to safety. Here are some of the ways I began to face the truth.
- I let go. I realized I needed help and didn’t know what to do. I trusted those who told me I was in danger.
- I got out of my comfort zone. I left my home which opened my eyes to other possibilities.
- I realized I couldn’t trust my intuition and allowed myself to trust that those who were helping me knew what was going on when I didn’t.
- I filled out intake papers at the shelter where I ended up after leaving. One of the questions was the name of my abuser.
- I asked questions.
- I studied the power and control wheel I was given by one of the women who worked at the shelter.
- I cried every day and let go of what I thought I knew was the truth which gave me the space I needed to accept the actual truth.
- I began to admit that some of the things the abusive person had done to me were wrong instead of making excuses for their actions.
- I started a list of all the abusive things this person had ever done to me. I realized this person had been abusive from the beginning.
- I journaled daily.
- I made a playlist and listened to it when I needed encouragement to keep moving forward.
- I talked to others. I listened to their stories and shared mine.
- I went to support group meetings. We had a support group at the shelter and I attended Al-Anon meetings whenever I could.
- I had trusted advisors to turn to with questions about the past, present, and future.
- I opened up even more. I admitted the abuse to myself and others.
Coming out of denial can be a long, slow process. It took me over a month to begin to admit to myself that I had escaped an abusive relationship.
Admitting the truth was just the beginning of my new life. Finally facing the truth of my situation set me free so I could truly live again.
I would not trade the agonizing process I went through to become the free woman I am today for anything. Living in freedom and peace is worth every tear I shed as I lost my former life.
You deserve to live in freedom and peace,
❤ Julia