How I Attracted The Woman Of My Dreams During The COVID-19 Pandemic

It started with radical acceptance.

When you have been single for 15 years, it can feel like you will be alone forever.

You begin to doubt that you will ever be able to experience romance in your life again. You begin to doubt your ability to love. And you may even start to doubt your worth and place in this world.

When COVID-19 hit, I had just started to recover from another heartbreak. And out of all the heartbreaks I experienced before, this one felt like the worst.

Unlike the people who came before her, this person gave me hope by repeatedly telling me how much she loved me.

Compared to this experience, simply being ignored by the people I had a crush on suddenly felt not so bad anymore.

And as I realized how difficult and emotionally draining the past year with this person has been, I told myself “enough.” I was ready to finally love without drama, without pain, and without needing to chase after someone.

I was ready for mature love or else to remain single from then on if that was what the universe had planned for me.

And with that realization and mindset shift, I felt a deep inner peace.

Make no mistake about it. I still wanted love in my life. I, too, want to be held, feel the warmth of another body on my skin when I go to bed, cuddle on a Sunday afternoon, and make breakfast for a special someone.

However, I decided that I wanted a love that comes easy or no love at all.

It turns out that my wish was realized only nine months later when I met my current girlfriend. Amid a global pandemic.

What was different this time? I believe the following three steps were essential:

1. Acceptance

As mentioned above, I ultimately accepted that I would be alone for the rest of my life if I wouldn’t find the love I was searching for.

I have been afraid of being alone, forgotten, or ignored throughout my life. I have some deep wounds from being neglected as a child, and the fear of abandonment is still a strong force in my life.

However, I have become more at ease with being alone over the years. Most importantly, however, I learned to accept myself. Where I came from and who I am today.

When COVID-19 hit Germany, my social life became almost non-existent. I had to reduce working hours in my day job drastically. And I started to work from home.

Quite suddenly, I spent a lot of time alone.

It was painful at first. But as the weeks went by, I accepted my new life circumstances and tried to make the best of it. I also dreamed about life after lockdown and the adventures I would go on — with or without a partner.

Again, acceptance played a considerable role. I accepted that it might take months or even years until the world would open up again. Often, life felt dark and lonely. But amidst all of it, there was acceptance.

2. I Made My Future Partner A Central Part Of My Perfect Day

I love keeping a journal and creating things on paper. When I feel that it is time for a change, I often write out my perfect day.

With the massive changes COVID-19 brought to my life, and the extra free time I had, I started to make new plans and rekindled old dreams. I wrote them down and created a new perfect day.

It begins with waking up next to my beautiful girlfriend:

“I wake up next to my beautiful girlfriend. I take a moment to appreciate her beauty and the perfect life I am living with her. She is beautiful and full of love for me. She accepts and loves me completely as I accept and love her completely. She is kind, positive, and emotionally available. We share the same values, and our relationship is filled with passion, laughter, and harmony. Before I get up, I kiss her slightly, knowing we are a perfect match.”

I didn’t specify any physical characteristics (except that she must be beautiful, of course 😉). Instead, I focused on how our relationship should feel.

I longed for mutual acceptance and emotional availability because I realized that these two were always missing in my previous love experiences.

Did the universe deliver? You bet!

One day, I came back from my morning run, showered, and hopped back into bed, where my girlfriend was still enjoying a lazy Sunday morning.

After a few minutes, it dawned on me that this morning was what I had envisioned all these months before. And that our relationship perfectly matches the one I described in my perfect day journal entry.

3. I Started To Live, As If I Was In Love

Over the years, I have tried to implement the idea of “act as if.” Whenever I set a new goal, I envision what type of person I would need to be in order to achieve that goal.

And as I wanted to be happy in love, I asked myself how I would behave if that were my reality already.

I decided that I was in love with myself and wanted to present the best version of myself to myself every day.

So I started to wear my best clothes and took the time to tame my curly hair every day, even though I wouldn’t see a single human being. I even put on perfume — a habit usually reserved for special occasions.

Instead of my usual go-to-music, I listened to happy love songs that lifted my mood. I also chose cheesy love songs that only new lovers would appreciate. I lighted candles and snuggled up in bed with a book.

In short, I acted as if I was madly in love with myself.

Is This Finally My Happy End?

Right now, it feels like it. Through my 15 years of various heartbreaks and pains of unrequited loves, I have learned one thing:

I need to be comfortable with myself and fulfill my needs without a partner.

Only then can I be the lover I want to be and attract the love I want to have.

The love I get to experience now feels safe and healthy.

It is nothing like in the movies.

But it is precisely what I have wanted.