How Goodness Turned Tragedy Into Triumph
Not just any “granddaughter” wedding
The Event
Last weekend, my husband and I attended our granddaughter’s wedding.
I know. I know.
No big deal, right? Millions of people get married each year, and all of the brides are granddaughters in some form or other. It’s not unusual to attend the wedding of a granddaughter, and if you’re lucky enough to do that, I wager most of you are happy and proud, glad to be able to celebrate a happy occasion with other friends and family members.
So I get that you may be rolling your eyes thinking, “Oh, yeah. Just because it was your granddaughter, doesn’t make it more special than other granddaughter weddings.”
I beg to differ.
Believe me. This wedding WAS special. A tidal wave of gratitude pours out of me as I contemplate how goodness and love can change the outcome of lives.
The backstory
Our granddaughter was born to a fifteen-year-old high-school dropout, pregnant from a one-night stand with our son, in and out of jail — no matter what rehab was offered — since he was twelve. My granddaughter’s mother had no real permanent home. In fact, we learned about the birth of our son’s baby from someone else in our community.
He didn’t admit the truth until a DNA test was performed, and after that time, the mother and baby came to live at our home for a time.
While “no-good” fathers are common, the word “tragedy” is too strong for his absence. But what happened later, though, was a tragedy in the true sense of the word. Over the next five years, our granddaughter’s mother got into a relationship with another man, had another baby, married the man, and had three more children within three years.
Five pregnancies in six years. The last childbirth was the end. Our granddaughter’s mother died from complications of childbirth. She was twenty-one years old. Our granddaughter was six.
Our granddaughter was left with no mother and a father who was in and out of prison.
Finding her place
For five years, our granddaughter, regardless of how many family members on the mother’s side and on her father’s side loved her and tried to help, had an unstable life. While her dad was in jail, she often lived with his various girlfriends, usually 17 or 18-year-old girls who no longer attended high school. Sometimes, she spent time with her stepfather who was now a widower, raising four small children as a single father with the help of our granddaughter’s aunts. She stayed with us often, and when her dad went to prison for the last time, our granddaughter came to live with us.
We love that girl, then and now. We did our best, providing stability, love, and smiles. Getting her to and from school. Letting her friends stay over. Cooking good meals, helping with homework, and giving security and reassurance whenever possible. But we were older, lived in the country away from other people, had no children around, and had just started a new business that sapped our time and energy.
Our granddaughter was lonely and sad even though she got to visit her siblings and aunts often. So when her uncle, her father’s older brother, a responsible, successful businessman who lived in a different state with two children the same age as our granddaughter invited her to come for a two-week summer vacation, she was thrilled.
That’s when the tide turned.
Unending gratitude
The little girl fit in perfectly with her southern family. She reveled in having her two cousins, so close in age, around all the time. She appreciated the family structure and the supervision of her aunt and uncle. At the end of that summer vacation, the girl was invited to be a permanent part of their lives. Cousins and kin became brother, sister, mother, and father. Together they had adventures: traveling, working, playing, fighting, laughing, and crying, like all families.
For the next fifteen years, our granddaughter did what other kids did. No longer lonely, she went to the same school every day and got tutoring to catch her up. She participated in all the social events and sporting events. The first person in her mother’s family to graduate from high school, our granddaughter went to college and found a great job that suited her talents, all because of the goodness of her uncle and his family.
The “Thank-You” Note
In a world gone wrong, this bride had a “father” on her wedding day because one good man willingly opened his home and his heart to a forlorn child. This young woman found comfort and stability in a family that embraced her as their own. She chose a kind, hard-working man for her lifelong partner because she had a good role model in her uncle-turned-father.
Yes, this was my granddaughter’s wedding, and yes, it was very special to us. But our story is not so different from thousands of other families across the world because there are lots of good people who open their arms to those in need. Millions of people choose to HELP those who need it.
In return, love multiplies.
My granddaughter’s wedding evokes gratitude for our oldest son and for the many, many people around the world like him who have taken on the roles of parents to non-biological children. People who have provided sanctuary for children who need it. Families who grow because they love others.
This is a Thank-You note to all of you out there who’ve changed lives for the better with goodness and love.
