How Good Are You At Deciphering The Truth?

A few helpful tips for recognizing the hidden clues of deception

Some use instinct or rely upon their gut reaction. Others need facts and details to come to a conclusion.

But what if none of these options deliver a clear message of authenticity?

In short, how do you know if someone is telling you the truth?

Because appearances are often deceptive.

Aesop’s classic fable, The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, is an interesting metaphor. The story goes something like this:

A lone wolf lived near a sheep farm. Every day, the wolf visited the farm, hungry for a meal. Being an observant animal, the wolf noticed the sheep tended to follow just about anyone — the farmer, his son, even the dog. In fact, sometimes the sheep followed another sheep. It seemed they needed a leader, a guide, to feel safe in their movements across the fields.

The wolf watched the sheep for several days, finally taking his chance and slipping into the herd, hoping to remain unnoticed. But the sheep instinctively knew the wolf was their enemy, and they began to cry out. The farmer heard the wailing sheep and chased the wolf away.

The next day, the wolf tracked and followed a single sheep. When it was distant enough from the flock, the wolf attacked the sheep and carried it away. After devouring the meat, the wolf kept the skin to wear as a disguise, planning to cover himself in the wooly hide. Now, he would resemble the rest of the sheep, and surely be able to hide in plain sight.

In the morning, the cloaked wolf approached the sheep, cautiously wandering through the flock. “Follow me,” the wolf whispered. With the sheep seemingly unafraid, the wolf was delighted, believing his devious plan of disguising himself had worked. Soon they would all be his to devour.

As it happened, on that particular day, the farmer and his family were participating in a special celebration in town. Before leaving for the event, the farmer headed to the fields to harvest one of his sheep for the communal meal.

The sheep had wandered some distance, having been lead away by the wolf. After finally locating the flock, the farmer began scanning, looking for the biggest, fattest sheep to share with the townspeople.

The wolf, distracted by his seeming success in separating the herd, didn’t notice the farmer moving toward him. When the farmer suddenly raised his axe, the wolf was startled. But it was too late, and in an instant, the wolf was dead.

Which brings us back to the original question:

How do we recognize when a smiling face is hiding an unknown agenda?

We have to ask ourselves what motivates people to skew the truth — one that will eventually rise to the surface, resulting in exposure or accusations of deception — a truth they’ll be forced to face, along with the ultimate consequences.

In many cases, the reason truth lies hidden behind an intentional lie is the person may be concealing an emotional wound.

It might be in the form of embarrassment from the past, uncertainty about the present, or a concern about the future. But regardless of the source, they’re not yet ready to deal with the situation or issue.

These people are relatively innocuous. Their dishonesty is a defense mechanism, to keep aspects of their life and personality a secret. Using deception as a protective shield, they’re trying to keep questions — and explanations — to a minimum.

And then there are the wolves in sheep’s clothing, the masters of manipulation — those who intentionally create a scenario that’s perfect for them, and potentially disastrous to others who choose to believe or follow.

It’s not always easy to identify deceptive people or their misrepresentations, because their agenda, rhetoric, or rationalization often appears seamless — even reasonable — leaving no reason to challenge their story.

This is where an awareness of your personal congruency comes in — the point at which your organic lie detector kicks in. The result is a subconscious signal manifesting itself as a physiological response — a gut reaction, an instinctive or intuitive sense that something or someone is right — or wrong.

Why are these signals so frequently accurate?

They originate from your foundational values and beliefs — touchstone reminders of who you are and the life choices you’ve made.

But like a soft whisper in our ears, we have to listen, recognize them for what they are — and not allow our preconceived notions and biases to prevent us from hearing, seeing, or feeling the truth.

The next time you’re faced with making a decision about someone’s truthfulness, ask yourself this question

How do the suggestions, representations, and depictions of others look, sound, and feel?

If all three representational systems are giving you positive feedback, it’s an indication the individual is providing accurate information — that is, they align with your own values and beliefs.

But if the feedback you receive from all three modalities are not in agreement, there’s something wrong.

For example, an idea, suggestion, or description may sound great. It may even feel right. But if it doesn’t look right, that’s a red flag.

And that’s when you’ll need to decide how much of your own resources to put at risk.

If you have a suspicion someone isn’t telling you the whole truth, or is making an outright misrepresentation, you may want to limit your time, money, and influence in their behalf.

Deciding how much of yourself to invest in behalf of others is a judgment call

Make sure your decision is based as much on your own psychological and physiological vetting as it is on the unsubstantiated “facts” of those attempting to influence you.

© 2020 Jill Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Jill Reid is the author of Real Life: We breathe, We sleep, We eat … And in-between, We Live

Jill Reid is the founder of Pathway to Personal Growth and author of Real Life. Her books and articles explore life, happiness, self-improvement, health, productivity, relationships, and personal success strategies.