How Feeling Intimidated is Good for You
“The eyes of others, our prisons; their thoughts our cages”- Regina Wolf
Note: This article has analogies of life with Ed Sheeran songs and cookies. The author doesn’t recommend gorging on sugar-laden cookies.
My eyes feared seeing those people. These people had no name. I glanced at them from a distance, all decked up in blazers, giggling, and discussing the award they received. I ran away. Far from what I feared the most, to feel like a nobody, a loser.
I was in one of the finest schools in town. As a child, I had never got dropped to school in big cars or never carried fancy food to school. As a child, these differences started creating barriers for me. I thought that I couldn’t participate in competitions or be a part of the council.
It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Feeling overpowered by the burden of inferiority complex one caters.
Did you ever fear the giggly, extremely successful gang in your school or college too?
However, someone had to burst my balloon of fear. There isn’t any mystery as to who burst the bubble. Isn’t it always the stereotypical answer.
Me, I, broke outside the bubble. No needles, no amount of squeezing from the outside could have helped.
When you push, you pull yourself closer to finding who you are.
Why do we feel Intimidated so often?
Our insecurities create pseudo projections for the outer world. We misinterpret someone else’s self-worth, satisfaction, and success. We start to believe that they haven’t faced the hurdles in life.
The cycle of self-pitying and fearing your downfall begins. Which eventually blows in a tornado within us, which most of us name as INTIMIDATION.
How reflecting on the intimidation can help you fall in” Love With The Shape Of You?”
Well, Ed Sheeran was in love with his lady, and he dedicated a whole song to this imaginary person. So why can’t we fall in love with our shapes? Rather than loving our shapes, we are jealous of someone else’s.
Isn’t it the worst?
How do most of us deal with intimidation?
I avoided going to school whenever we had sports days or annual meets. The whole setup made me feel like an average.
We process the situation and avoid any future incidents that make usfeel like that.
What could I have thought at that stage?
Arent those people also just bones and flesh like me? There isn’t anything to be rationally scared of.
Usually, certain things make us feel vulnerable. It might be your friend with a Ferrari, someone multitasking and hustling in life, or an imposing colleague.
Well, for me, cookies are comparable to such events.
Triggering Cookies
The millennial competition, academic laurels, economic success are all those chocolate cookies in life that are never sufficient.
We crave for it.
We fear that their cookie might overpower ours.
We get jealous if someone has the cookie with the chocolate ganache filling, and we are never enough.
The power to identify the triggering cookies and acknowledging their presence helped me work towards creating a mental map of goals.
For instance, an overpowering colleague made me feel weak all the time. One day I decided that this was it. I sat down to identify what exactly was triggering me.
- Every time my opinions were thrown to trash.
- I felt that I lacked the appropriate knowledge.
- A certain persuasive tone of that colleague made everyone run behind them.
As human nature, we love attention, most of the time. And I wasn’t getting it.
Strategies I created:
- Let that person know how they made me feel.
- I started working on my communication skills, implementing what I learned from the people around.
- I decided to believe in what I thought strongly.
- I built a stronger work ethic.
When I stopped believing that my issue was with my colleague and more due to my incompetency, I felt the pressure relieve.
How I Baked My Authentic Cookies
“No need to hurry, no need to sparkle, no need to be anybody but oneself.” — Regina Wolf
My colleague made me look inward and find the recipe for survival.
We all know that the recipe for authentic cookies lies within us. We have been carrying that cookbook for years. Each day we update the recipe that resonates with ourselves.
We carry the proportions of ingredients that no one else in the world has.
Whenever I saw my colleagues chocolate chip cookie that just got freshly served, I tried to go deep inside, found my new updated recipe, and rushed to the oven. If someone had larger monster cookies, I would check my database if my system has that appetite?
Do I want that large cookie?
If the answer is yes, I look up for inspiration at that friend, I learn from them. I update my system.
Not everyone wants large cookies, some want multiple small ones, or others wish to have a specific cookie. Why do we always look at things from our primitive brains?Bigger is not always better.
We all have ovens inside us, which are ready to bake the delicious chocolate chip hazelnut cookies. Who knows, your authentic recipe could make someones else’s mouth water.
Can we update our ovens and bake better cookies?
Now when I feel intimidated by a person or situation, I feel excited. There is a component of fear interlaced with an equal hint of belief that there are so many more ingredients to explore.
As I take forward my cookie analogy, ovens can take time to heat up.
That’s why most recipes recommend preheating it. When are you going to turn the knob and prepare for the best to come?
How is humanity at a gain when we don’t have the right cookie dough?
When we dig deeper, everyone will agree to feel denial, failure, and agony in their life.
When one person can take their disappointment into a comeback and become a leader, imagine what will happen if all of us fight back. Wouldn’t humanity be populated with leaders?
Leaders who are compassionate, empathetic. Who allows you to create your authentic cookie dough?
Final Thoughts
- Accept the intimidation
- Identify your beliefs
- Stop comparing your cookie dough with someone else.
- Always preheat the oven, and be ready for creating revolutionary cookies.
- Always empathize and sprinkle compassion.
Let the intimidations sink in, be thankful for it, and let it do good for you.
Hi, I’m Aashi Sethiya, a Physiotherapy intern. I love writing about life lessons, books, and daily issues. I have an inkling towards social work and fitness. Also, did I mention that I can bake mean lasagne too? If you like what you read and want to discuss it further, you can connect with me here.
You can have a look at my previous posts here.