Mental Health

How Failing to Communicate Can Literally Make You Sick

Why Failing to communicate is toxic to your Mental and Physical Health

It’s true. Failing to communicate can literally make you sick.

Expressing yourself is a healthy, vital part of being in relationship with others and should be viewed as a necessity and not just an option.

The Problem

Years ago when I was in high school, I had a really good friend.

We had established a close bond and spent a great deal of time together. She was someone that I loved being around and we would spend hours laughing and joking whenever possible.

One day, I was in a situation where I needed help with a problem, so I went to her and asked her for help.

Now mind you, this wasn’t a life or death situation…

But I still expected that my friend would come through for me in this moment.

After all…we were good friends, right?

Well, long story short, my friend refused to help me with this problem.

Even though I was able to handle the problem on my own, I took her refusal to help to heart. I was very angry about her response.

The Build Up

And being so young at the time…

I lacked the emotional intelligence to express how I was feeling.

This incident happened at the end of the school year and I had all summer long to replay the incident in my mind and to wallow in my anger… while it continued to fester and grow.

When school resumed in the fall, my anger towards my friend had not gone anywhere.

But sadly, I continued to remain “friends” with her while secretly harboring resentment and anger towards her.

The Climax

Although I tried…

I couldn’t mask the resentment.

And it began to rear its nasty head into the corners of our friendship and things got worse and worse until one day it came to a head.

I finally opened up about why I was so angry with her, but by that time it was too late.

Our friendship was never the same after that.

And not only was our friendship ruined, but by the time things came to a head, it was practically the end of the following school year and… I was an emotional, mental, and physical wreck.

The Aftermath

Harboring all this anger and resentment had not just taken a toll on me emotionally, but it consumed my mind, affected my studies, and my ability to focus.

It also affected my relationship with others.

I was constantly wound up and on edge (and at times I would even lash out at others).

This resulted in me manifesting physical symptoms:

I would oftentimes have heart palpitations where I would feel like my heart would beat out of my chest.

And I started to develop a stomach ulcer.

I was a mess.

After this traumatic experience…

I vowed to never ever hold my feelings in again.

I promised myself that no matter what, I would always express myself and allow my voice, emotions, and feelings to have an outlet.

The Reflection

Reflecting back, I realize that my friend was not a bad person, and she had the right to not assist in that situation.

She had stated that she was tired. It was not a life or death situation, and it was something I could have handled on my own.

So my goal here is not to villainize her, but rather to say that it is important to always utilize good communication skills and to express how you feel in friendships/relationships.

The Solution

If I had just spoken up and told her how I felt, I could have avoided all of the drama that followed.

I also could have salvaged my friendship, and my sanity.

Comment down below if you are ready to communicate more effectively for better relationships.

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