How Downsizing Upsized My Life

Moving to a smaller home created space for more happiness.

Three years ago my husband and I downsized to a smaller home in a small city. We left 3.5 acres and a 4000 sq ft house we’d renovated from an old ugly duckling into a beautiful country home that we’d lived in for 10 years. And we moved while I was still receiving cancer treatment.

But surprisingly, downsizing ended up being better than I originally thought.

Who moves while you’re still in cancer treatment? Well, we did, since life had changed and we wanted to flow with it rather against it. I’d had surgery, six treatments of chemo for breast cancer, a month of radiation and was still going to the cancer treatment centre every three weeks for immunotherapy.

Even though I was exhausted I knew I needed a clean slate. My husband had also received a promotion but now had to drive for two hours every day which was stressful for both of us.

We loved the many large windows of our country home that provided everchanging views of the woods, birds, squirrels, deer, moose, and other wildlife as well as our garden. We had complete privacy, quiet, a clear view of the stars overhead and so much more. But time had come for a change. We were ready for a simpler lifestyle that didn’t involve as much work.

After many serious discussions, we sold our home and bought a much smaller one in a small, quiet city close to where my husband works. I work from home so I can move anywhere. The decision to downsize was tough, but we both felt it was a compromise we could live with.

Not everyone in our lives understood or was happy with our decision. I knew the phone lines were buzzing. But they still supported our choice.

Close family and friends helped us move— they wanted to give us a fresh start after the stressful year we’d had. On moving day they saw that our new neighbourhood and home were small and quiet. (And they also saw how the back yard was a chewed-up nightmare thanks to the previous owner’s dog and kids.)

There wasn’t a blade of grass left and it was full of holes and weeds. The owner actually left a note apologizing for how bad it was. But it was perfect. Besides, we wanted to put our own stamp on the landscape rather than making do with someone else’s lazy efforts.

You Keep The Essence of What You Love The Most

My husband and I knew we wanted a home in an older neighbourhood, a garage, nature trails, birds, wide tree-lined streets and space for a garden to sit outdoors. And the new house needed lots of light.

We needed guest bedrooms as we house visitors often, and bathrooms and offices for both of us on separate floors — we knew we couldn’t compromise on that. I write and read, love classical music and need quiet time to think. (My husband is cheerfully loud, and he listens to rap music while paying bills or working on a project.)

After much searching, we found an older house with huge neighbouring trees and a crappy little backyard we knew we could redesign. It didn’t have to be perfect but the home did require a solid skeleton from which we could build. I had a small office with a big window that overlooked the back yard. My husband had space for all his hunting and fishing stuff. We’d checked all the boxes for our new adventure!

Compromise Comes From Odd Places

At first, the thought of downsizing overwhelmed me. When you own an acreage, you have a lot of space for equipment and storage. Our new home was the size of a hobbit house — without the grass and goats on the roof.

My husband and I both love to cook and entertain and yet, what was the first thing we had to compromise in order to live in the small bungalow we bought? The kitchen. It had been remodeled, but it was a tiny galley kitchen and we wondered how we’d make it work.

We stumbled our way through the process. We have alternate cooking nights and stay out of each other’s way. The kitchen equipment that isn’t used weekly is kept in a storage closet my husband built downstairs. All things are possible if you have the will and an excellent cleaver. We bought a rolling island so we can both chop vegetables.

We both love the small living rooms of European homes and we’ve never had a huge living room. But I did have to give up a bookcase or two and move them elsewhere and also release boxes of books. The television is downstairs in our family room which would perhaps drive you nuts but it makes me happy.

Our living room has beautiful and comfortable furniture surrounded by light, art, books, a lovely rug, and music playing — and we call it The Snug just as our British friends call their cozy nook in their home.

Where else did we compromise? Certainly, we rarely heard sirens when we lived in the country so we had to get used to city noise. And I still dislike strange people ringing the doorbell unless they are the Girl Guides. Our werewolf dog now needs a leash for a walk unless he’s at the dog park. I’m sure he’d have something to say about all this.

You Have To Release Stuff & Get Creative

You don’t go from 3.5 acres to 1000 sq feet without releasing both physical and emotional stuff from your life. We’d put hundreds of DIY hours into our country home and had transformed it into something beautiful. There was a lot of blood, sweat, swear words and tears in that home. We were so proud of it.

We had to look at every single thing and run it through the filters of “Can we live without this?” and “Do we have room for it?”. At first I was reluctant, but after two weeks the pile for charity was massive and I would have given away my dog and husband if I didn’t love them so much. The process of release became strangely freeing.

And what you hate to give up but have to — well — you find creative solutions. Our old bedroom windows had a large view of a valley surrounded by trees. It’s still what I miss the most. However, I recently bought a realistic tree mural wallpaper for a statement wall in our bedroom. Hello, forest. And I found an Audubon bird clock in a thrift store that sings hourly in the kitchen. Don’t laugh — everyone loves it.

You Discover New Joys

Downsizing has upsized our lives in other wonderful ways.

My husband and I tackled the chewed up back yard last year and the neighbours cheered us on. We planted a small orchard of fruit-bearing trees and shrubs so we’re both curious to see how they turn out. We added three raised compost gardens and they immediately provided almost 100 pounds of vegetables last fall.

We love sitting outside during the spring, summer and autumn in the re-landscaped yard we did ourselves — and the miracle of it? Barely any mosquitoes annoy us while we sip a glass of wine, listen to the birds and watch the squirrels run across the fence to get food we’ve left them. At our old home, the mosquitoes almost carried us away and drinking and eating outside was impossible until September.

I love having a cup of coffee outside while I write. And a small water fountain gurgles and provides white noise while the birds and squirrels drink from it too. Small pleasures are always closer than you think.

I can mow the grass with a push lawn mower front and back in 20 minutes vs over an hour on a riding lawn mower (but damn — I do miss it.) We feed the birds, walk on the nature trail closeby, hit movies or a concert at the drop of a hat, visit the farmer’s market in the summer or dash for milk in five minutes vs a 30-minute one-way drive to the grocery store.

More financial freedom comes with downsizing too. Money that used to be spent on maintaining a larger home is now invested elsewhere. There are other benefits. My husband drives to work in 5 minutes and he works out at a karate club 3x a week. We see some friends and family more often and we don’t have to drive as much. I volunteer as a Big Sister which thrills me. Most of our neighbours are lovely and we help each other out. And we get to travel more which makes us both happier too.

My grouchy thoughts about downsizing ended and I adapted faster than I thought I would. Last week my husband and I sipped wine in front of the fire and chatted about our day. He said,

“I really like this place — I think I’m over the acreage.”

I smiled and nodded because I felt exactly the same way.

Afew days ago I chatted with our elderly neighbour outside. She’s feisty and likes to shovel her own snow and most of the year she’s outdoors in her gorgeous garden. She’s lived here since the 60s and has seen many people come and go.

She smiled and said, “I’m so happy you two moved to the neighbourhood. You’ve done wonders.”

And without any hesitation, I grinned at her and said,

“Me too. We love it here.”

I’ve learned that simplifying and letting go of what no longer suits your life is a worthy and deeply satisfying thing to do. And if you’re open to it — downsizing actually brings you its own set of upsized riches.