Middle-Pause Pump-Priming Prompt

How Do You Not Just Love, but Pamper Yourself?

Because you so deserve a special treat now and again

Pamper ourselves? Who has time for that?

None of us probably.

Most of us are uber-committed, juggling more balls in the air than we have hands to catch them. Bouncing back and forth between kids and partners, parents, jobs, friends, home, school, and a myriad of errands and chores to keep it all running.

If we get even half of that under control, we consider it a success.

And at what cost?

Stress? Fear? High blood pressure? Feeling out of control? Worry about what falls between the cracks or what’s escaped our menopausal brains at the moment?

Or am I the only one?

I don’t have kids or grandkids and my mom is doing great. Yet, I am uber-committed at my church barely keeping up with my work as a Board member and a Worship Team member. Without a minister or an administrator, we’re doing it all. And my fellow Board members are working just as hard if not harder in other areas like facility maintenance.

On top of that, I’m taking classes, writing blogs, editing a novel, and making plans to visit my family in the spring. And that’s just the big rocks.

You’re familiar with Stephen Covey’s putting the big rocks in first idea? If our life is a jar and we fill it with the smaller commitments that are pebbles and gravel first, there won’t be room for the ‘big rocks.’ So put them in first, and then the pebbles, then the gravel. That way there’s room for everything.

It works for the jar metaphor, but not sure it does in real life. Once we get the big rocks in, there may barely be time for self-care, let alone pebbles and gravel. Whatever they are.

So where do I get off suggesting we pamper ourselves?

Maybe because I am way behind on this.

And I figure I might not be the only one.

Which brings me to this week’s Middle-Pause Pump-Priming Prompt: How do you not just love but pamper yourself? Which can be in big or small ways.

It could be as simple as a hot relaxing bath when you usually take quick showers. Or a special treat like fresh raspberries when usually buy frozen.

It does not have to be expensive or extravagant to feel luxurious.

I’ll start ’cause I’m already into this conversation.

Yesterday when I finally got a Zoom break and took my shower, I grabbed a new bar of soap. Not fancy or expensive. It was the bottom of Trader Joe’s line. Oatmeal and Honey. $1.65 or so for two bars.

But unlike my fancier fruitier soaps, it makes a lovely luscious lather. It felt so good after sitting far too long to swath myself in a thick layer of bubbles. And let the hot water hit the tight spots where my neck meets my shoulders on each side. Ahh!

Going out to eat with friends.

Before COVID, I took this for granted. We’d grab bites after meetings or movies, often without much thought or care going into the quality of the food or the experience.

Whatever was convenient. Or still open that late at night, which narrowed the options and lowered the quality.

Now, everything’s changed. I’ve only gone to restaurants a handful of times. So they’ve now become special occasions. Each one carefully planned ahead of time. Venues and menus studied to make sure there’s outdoor seating and yummy healthy choices.

Like when we took my roommate, Rev. Aikya Param out for her birthday.

Even though she was the birthday girl, it was a treat for all of us. Taking the time to go out, sitting on the protected patio overlooking the Richmond Marina, warmed by the sun, sipping Vietnamese Coffee, and munching appetizers was pure indulgence.

I had such a wonderful visit with these three friends — glad we scheduled it at a time we didn’t have to rush. It felt extravagant. It was extravagant compared to my regular days. And, I allowed myself the indulgence, ‘deserved’ or not.

Enjoying Special Performances

Even though theaters have re-opened here, I haven’t gone out to any movies or shows. But I will. I’m looking forward to seeing the new Broadway production of Harper Lee’s novel, To Kill A Mockingbird when it comes to San Francisco in September.

Aaron Sorkin wrote a new script reflecting deeper understandings about race, class, and mental illness. Well worth wearing a mask for!

Yet, don’t we all deserve to pamper ourselves or be pampered now and again, if not on a regular basis? And not just cause we’ve ‘earned it.” but because we value ourselves and this is a loving thing to do.

A self-loving thing to do. And healthy as well.

Here’s what the people at VeryWellMind.com say about this:

While self-pampering doesn’t always lead to major improvements in overall health the way healthy diet and exercise do, the relaxation you get from it can trigger the relaxation response. This, in turn, can prevent chronic stress from damaging your health. So in a sense, self-care is good for you inside and out.

More suggestions include going for a walk, dancing, quality time with a special person, getting a massage, or other spa-type pampering like soaking, massaging, and oiling our feet.

So again the prompt: How do you not just love, but pamper yourself?

Your answers may well inspire others of us to make time for this refreshing and renewing investment in our own well-being.

We look forward to hearing from you!

What are you ‘too old’ or ‘too scared’ to do? Let me show you how!

Marilyn Flower writes humor to laugh the changes she wants to see and make. She’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On: How to Do the Thing You’re ‘Too Old’ & ‘Too Scared’ to Do. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Follow my Sacred Foolishness and Stay in touch!