No nipple. No problem.
How Do You Milk An Oat?
The evolution of milk
When I was growing up, milk was a liquid which came from a mammal. A cow. A goat. A donkey. A camel. A woman. Something with teats which were suckled by hungry offspring or squeezed by loving, or so I hoped, hands into containers and subsequently processed and sold in supermarkets for human or animal consumption.
We even had a milkman who replaced our empty bottles with full ones. He would leave them on the doorstep, thus preventing that scenario where a family member pours a big bowl of cereal only to discover there is but a drop of milk in the container.
In those days, the only non-milk liquids classified as milk came from soybeans or coconuts.
Nowadays, it seems the definition of milk has been stretched thinner than gossamer wings and as far from milk as I am from child-bearing age.
Almond milk. Potato milk. Pea milk. Rice. Hemp. Oat. Sesame. Grass. You name it. It gives milk. How? I have no idea. And I’ve yet to see a little baby potato sucking on its mother. Unless we’re talking Mrs. Potato Head.
I mean, seriously. Why not call these other products juice? It makes more sense to me.
If one can’t eat or drink diary for health reasons, such as allergies or colon sensitivities, is it imperative to call what they can drink by the name of milk?
Does the user feel left out if they can’t have a glass of ice cold milk and cookies?
Is it a marketing angle?
Got milk? That did work well. But Got Juice works just fine for me.
Got Issues? Well, haven’t we all.
Let’s just say it like it is.
For instance, take chicken nuggets made from tofu. Well, if you don’t want to eat chicken, why even think about eating fake chicken? Why not just call it tofu nuggets?
And let’s call imitation crab by it’s true nature, finely pulverized fish. Well, that does sound a bit unappetizing. But why lie about what you’re ingesting?
The one that really gets me is the plant burger. When I last checked a burger was any form of ground meat. If one is favoring eating plants over meat, so be it. But I think it should have its own name. For instance, a plant scrabble sandwich.
It’s as if vegetarians are shunning meat products, but labeling their foods for mass appeal.
I could go on and on, but I think I’ve milked as much as I can from this topic.
Thanks for reading!
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