How do you love yourself?

I am a woman in trend, and I practice self-love for a few years now. I know, another hipster you will say. But I find it very comforting to do things for myself, show love to myself, and tell myself very often that I deserve love.

I think we all know that it is not easy to love yourself and accept yourself. I am sure that you are very critical of yourself, and you do not speak kindly to your own self when you fail. I do it too. But if you think about it, you would never say to another person the things you tell yourself. At least not anyone you care about. And then why do we say these mean things to ourselves?!

First contact with self-love

About 3 years ago when I started thinking about therapy and talking with different psychologists and trying different approaches I came across a therapist who talked to me about it. And even though I had too little interaction with her she gave me some homework that helped a lot and I will never forget. She made me do a list of things that I love about myself. She said: “You are talking a lot about what you hate and you don’t like about yourself. How about focusing on what you like for a change?”

I made a list that I still keep by the side of my desk, and from time to time, I add another item. Even now I find something new I like, and I discover myself more and more.

Second eye-opening homework

About a year ago I had another discussion about self-love with another therapist. I was proud of myself for the work I was doing in that aspect and I told her: “I practice self-love” and she replied: “Yeah?! How?” I told her about my list, and although she liked the idea she added “But you still didn’t tell me HOW?!” these are the only reasons Why.

The next homework was another revelation: Do a list of things that you do for yourself. And I did. It was another perception-changing event. I did not realize that it’s not enough to tell myself I loved myself if I did nothing about it. Or even if I did things for me, I should tell myself that I do them because I love ME.

If I go back to the beginning of this story it’s like I said: We would never do it to somebody else. So why do we do it to ourselves?

How I love myself

To conclude everything, try treating yourself like someone you loved. And do for you all you would do for them. Love yourself just the way you are. Remind yourself often why you love YOU.

For me, is the way I take care of my body: running, sports, eating healthy, and enjoying a treat from time to time — a warm bath, a piece of cake, a coffee with a friend.

I support myself especially when I do something hard. I cheer for myself. And I do not try to skip tasks, because it does not help me in the long run.

Whatever makes you feel loved, do it! And never forget to remind yourself that all these things you do, you do in the name of self-love!

Hello, Ana here! I am a Romanian writer in my mid-thirties.

I write on Medium about mental health, wellness, society, and womanhood. If you like what I am writing you can buy me a Ko-fi .

I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and taken something with you!