Teaching|Career Change|Special Ed
How Do You Know When You Have Made the ‘Right’ Decision in Life?
It took 30 years as a teacher to learn the most important lesson
The ‘right’ decision?
By 1999, after ten years of teaching in very challenging schools, I was already feeling burnt out. Then I was appointed to an even tougher school in another very multicultural area of Sydney.
My first morning at this new school, the principal welcomed me into his office, and immediately asked: “Would you be willing to take on an ED Unit?” I gave it two seconds’ thought and answered “No thank you.”
ED children have always suffered such severe trauma in their young lives that it causes them, mostly, to be emotionally disturbed for life.
The next poor schmuck that walked through the principal’s door was asked exactly the same question. And the next and the next. Eventually someone accepted the offer, and it wasn’t me.
Now and then, as my career in mainstream education continued, I reflected on that offer of teaching an ED class. I would smile, content that I had made the right choice.
I thought I knew what teaching emotionally disturbed students involved, and I could never live up to that job description. I felt I had dodged a very unpleasant, unrewarding bullet. But I was wrong.
Deja vu
2016 was my first full year after retirement. I still felt the need to teach and I was asked by the school to do some casual work. The boss called me into his office and offered me a job-share position on an ED Unit, and it suddenly felt like deja vu. I would work two days a week, and the pregnant permanent teacher would work two days. I’d have an option for her two days when she left on maternity leave.
It had been eighteen years since I turned down the previous offer, and this time I said Yes without hesitation.
Some unsettling questions
I admit my first day going into the ED Unit was absolutely terrifying. A teacher’s aide shadowed me through the entire day.
By 2.30 pm I was totally addicted. I accepted extra days when the permanent teacher left, and stayed in one form or another for four years until Covid hit.
Throughout this time working on the ED Unit, a small voice in my head kept asking unsettling questions about my lengthy teaching career:
Why did I say No to this kind of teaching all those years ago? What had I been so afraid of? Was the entire thirty-plus years career a wasted opportunity? Had I been everything I could be, done everything I was capable of, and helped students the very best way possible?
So how do you know what is the ‘right’ path?
Grabbing an opportunity and finding your ‘calling,’ at the end of your working life, is a two-edged sword. It is satisfaction but also feels as if your younger self was cheated. You might feel you had been led down a wrong path. That you let something escape that should have been grasped firmly with heart and hands.
But you have to ask yourself how are you a different person now, than when you turned down that earlier opportunity? What has age and life experience given you that made you succeed now, that didn’t exist when you were younger?
The answer to these questions comes through serious reflection.
Analysis of my earlier rejection of the ED path, gave me answers:
I believed that teaching emotionally disturbed students required stricter control than I could ever possess. It took age to understand that respect and compassion was the key.
I thought teaching such damaged spirits would somehow damage me. It took experience to understand that being open to others’ pain doesn’t make you vulnerable, it strengthens you.
I feared the violent and angry opposition these kids throw at authority on a regular basis. It took being in the job to understand that the behaviour was a function of distrust, protection and survival. That opposition is not personal.
A perfect path
So. If I had a time-machine, and knew that I would discover a passion for teaching ED kids that renewed my love of teaching, would I go back and say Yes?
No, I would not.
You have to live through every age and stage of life, and as the Buddhists believe, whatever path you take is perfect.
You are now and always doing the perfect thing at the perfect time to be doing it.
If one path feels wrong for you, take a different path. You may find yourself back at the original place at a time that is just right, as I did.
You can choose it then, or never, and just keep going. Either way, the path will be the right one for you.